Thanks again to our fabulous scribe!!
Just when you thought this band of adventurers had given up and gone home…
For this exciting session of Dungeons and Dragons, the lineup goes as follows:
Bavmorda: half-elf rogue - Kimba
Pyre Fierceshot: half-elf ranger - Andrew
Ellora: human sorceress - Heather
Brunhilda: half-orc barbarian - Kerri
Dungeon Master: human – Brent
This adventure last left off in the tower of Mount Dew. The party’s quest was to rescue Fern, taken captive by the hostile citizens of Teaville. Now remember, the entire town of Teaville is totally ripped at the party, due to allegations of theft of a beloved town relic (‘Frosty’), and has declared war on the company. It is also known that the mayor of Teaville double-crossed the party during this whole Frosty escapade, and thus, has marked himself as a dead man as the group looks to clear their name. And while we're the topic of double-crossing, there is also a backstabbing dwarf named Pilch who now walks with an altogether different gait; he learned the hard way the dangers of playing Judas on this party.
During the last installation of this adventure (not played since October), a fortuitous stroke of luck led to the finding of a very important map – Teaville plans to take over Kokoa and the other neighboring towns. This information will prove to be useful later, no doubt.
However, back to the enterprise at hand. The party has been resting comfortably in the tower since dispatching several guards and bad guys. Brunhilda was charged with the task of cleanup, which she did superbly by chucking corpses out the tower window. Now…
Pyre opts to take first watch. All is quiet. Bav takes over the next six hours, and as Pyre snores soundly, the DM requests Listen checks of the other three. Only Bav hears the footsteps outside the barricaded door, and as she equips herself with her crossbow, she hears shouts of “Open up!” and “Let me in!” Brunhilda is ready to kill some people, which she does once Bav opens the door. A random soldier avec sword is felled quickly by Brunhilda’s mighty weapon. Another guy hiding behind runs off when this happens, but Brunhilda reacts quickly, and that dude dies before he can say “Scotch-hobble”. His corpse is chucked out the window by you-know-who.
It is unclear at this time who is responsible for the prank played on the still-sleeping Pyre. But, indeed, he is rather startled to wake up next to a dead soldier’s body, whom the rest of the party has dubbed “Roy”.
Moving onwards, the party clambers up the ladder to a room which contains a balcony on the left and right (not to mention ladders to each balcony). Looking left, Ellora sees a flattened, well-used path. As Pyre heads right, two ninjas leap out, brandishing a staff and a dagger. Ellora Lightning Bolts one to death. Bav sinks an arrow into the other, while Brunhilda cleaves him. In a last-ditch, kamikaze-type effort worthy of the Bard himself, the staggering ninja Shocking Grasps Brunhilda while uttering the words “Thus, with a kiss…I die...”. Bav ends his misery shortly thereafter. A search of the body turns up a +1 cloak of resistance and wand of magic missile for Ellora, gold for Pyre, potions for Bav. No record is available of treasure given to Brunhilda….but it’s okay because she’s headed up the ladder, looking for fresh blood.
The ladder comes into an enclosed room, where a random guy pulls a crossbow out on Brunhilda. Big mistake. However, as she advances, the guy pushes a button on the wall. A hole opens up in the floor, and the half-orc falls into a crevasse filled with water. Pyre and Bav fire on the button-pusher, and Ellora finishes him with a fireball. Pyre then has a bit of a difficult struggle as he attempts to heave a chain mail-wearing enormous half-orc barbarian out of a pit of water. However, the fun doesn’t end there. As it turns out, the pit is filled with sharks - it’s a big shark steak barbeque as Ellora scorches one. Once Brunhilda is up, the shark feast is abandoned…but not before Brunhilda and Bav notice and, deftly, manage to retrieve a shiny key from the bottom of the pit of water.
The other ladder leads to a room containing various potions and treasure chests. The group plays a round of Sexual Innuendo as they discuss plundering “the depths of the chests”. A spiral staircase is the only other thing of interest, which leads to a bit of swordplay with two guards. With Brunhilda leading the way, they engage her first, but one by one, the party enters to attack. Ellora fries one and Brunhilda cleaves the other. An exit leads to another room where a fat (later “muscular”) guy wielding a morningstar squares off with Brunhilda. Things are going swimmingly until Pyre rushes in and takes Brunhilda’s kill…this results in an angry chase of the ranger by the barbarian. It is unclear at this time the outcome of this pursuit. Ellora finds a blue key, gives it to Pyre (obviously not being chased anymore), and Bav finds 120 gold pieces.
This room also contains a mirror, which, when lifted by Ellora, reveals a button, which Bav promptly pushes. A trap door flaps open, leading to another room above the party. The company climbs into what appears to be a torture chamber. A small, lifeless figure is sprawled upon a tabletop, and is guarded by a menacing-looking female and hulking human man. Ellora casts Hold Person on the female and begins to disarm her (the DM comments that Ellora may also want to disrobe her and the entire group laughs, OOG, as they realize they’ve entered Brent’s fantasy realm). Pyre focuses on taking out the man figure, but instead, fumbles and shoots Brunhilda in the side. To add insult to injury, he does the exact same thing on his next turn.
Meanwhile, the female guard has snapped out of the Hold Person and is now on the receiving end of a Shocking Grasp by the sorceress. Eventually, though, the woman breaks the grapple and runs for the balcony window, where she leaps and begins her descent to the ground (obviously a Slow Fall of some kind). Ellora casts Spider Climb on herself and begins the chase; she manages to take out the escaping female with a couple of well-placed fireballs, but not before she spots a large number of troops in the distance to the west (later to be estimated around 100 by Pyre).
While this excitement is ensuing, Pyre has put away the crossbow and taken out his short sword (much sniggering here), as Brunhilda annihilates the hulking male guard. Then, Pyre is forcefully questioned by Brunhilda about why he shot her in the side…twice. It is unclear at this time what Pyre’s response was, but one certainly wonders if Brunhilda has lost any of her ardor for the ranger after the day’s misfires.
The trio (minus Ellora right now) examine the torture table and find a Mostly Dead Dwarven Female (now known as MDDF). A Heal check and cure potions bring her back from the brink of death. Ellora returns at this time from the outside, and is brought up to speed.
Meanwhile, Bav noticed a strange t-shaped mechanism on the wall, with various keyholes. How lucky it is the company has been collecting keys this entire time. Bav shocks herself several times before finally coming up with the right combination of key insertions. A trap door opens, leading to the highest room in the tower – where a man in a cage awaits. It’s Fern!
Bav picks the lock and Fern is free!
The group, in general, decide the best plan on action is evacuate the tower, recalling the coming troops as well as protecting the two rescuees. Bav then spots AirEagle (and friends) in the distance, and so the entire party is then transported back to Kokoa to consider further actions.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The Quest of the Legendary Potion
OK, no screwing around now. Time is of the essence. Tonight’s recap.
Mrs. Tiki’s adventure left off with the party returning to the Kingdom of Asatira, and the joyous reunion of Princess Florissa and her father, as well as the celebration of true love.
Word reaches the party that Mordred the traitor has taken the road to the south. Suspicions fall upon the neutral good cleric Lola as the one who proclaimed to the King that they would pursue Mordred to exact justice.
Before the party runs off like mad, impetuous children, they stop in at the tavern. The barkeep and Lola come to the conclusion that Mordred is indeed shifty; Boof expresses his intense desire to go south (“Hortense south”, he says). However, the entire party is in for a surprise as Boof stops at the general store with one intention: to purchase a ring for his intended fiancée. Lola takes a moment to remind Boof that Hortense has not agreed to marry him, and it was purely a suggestion on the part of Florissa as a diversion. Boof is positive Hortense will marry him, and carries on his shopping spree (new armor, a ring, some Charisma potion). Rana and Qui also pick up some Cure potions, lightening the cleric’s load.
A hilarious exchange occurs at the jeweler’s as Boof realizes he does not have enough money for a diamond ring. In addition, he is also not able to provide particular helpful details (height, size, look) to the jeweler to help the selection process. Instead:
J: Is she the same race as you?
B: Yes. She beautiful.
J: Uh. Okay.
Qui interjects with: “In theory.”
With the shopping expedition over, the company heads south. Within a day’s walk and overnight camp, they reach the small village of Shang. At the first sight of the party, the villagers run screaming for their homes. No doubt this seems verily odd to the party as they continue to the middle of town, where they are met by a meek, nervous-looking young man wielding a weapon. He identifies himself as the town protector (at which point Qui, Rana, and Lola exchanges wondering glances at the irony of that announcement). The young man then tells the story of a great, tall magician striding into town, demanding some kind of magic object from the town’s Grand Master, who refused to give it. The angry magician then obliterated the temple in which the GM resided and trained his apprentices. The Protector then tells of the incapacitated GM, who requires healing. How convenient this party happens to have someone who fits that bill. Lola offers her services, and the man ushers the party rather quickly over to the tavern/inn, aptly named “The Celestial Cup.” Upstairs the Grand master lies, and Lola quickly lays hands on him. He comes around enough to mutter the following words: “Stop him, first key, pillar, path to Heaven, my son will help…”
While this interesting conversation is happening, another is occurring down in the tavern area. Qui is chatting up the barkeep who mentions the Temple of the Celestial Pagoda and a Legendary Potion. Qui repeats these words about four times before serious remonstrations from the barkeep about the volume of his voice. The general assumption is that the magician was trying to steal this potion. It is unclear if he was successful or not. Also, Qui discovers the Grand Master’s name is Zho. At the mention of the temple, Rana exits the tavern en route for that place. Qui finishes up shortly after and bumps into Boof and Lola, who are descending from the GM’s room. All decide to head for the tavern, but not before they are accosted by a drunk guy who tells Qui that supposedly the “temple is a test to see who’s worthy”. Rana happens to slip into the destroyed temple, unnoticed by the two monks who are on clean up duty.
The rest of the party arrives, and Boof is put on clean-up detail too, being a man of strength and all. The magician obviously used explosive spells of some sort, as the inside is complete rubble. Once the monks see the party, the gathering of information begins:
1. The temple protects the potion
2. The potion is located on another plane
Lola feels positive there is nothing else she needs to know, so she plans to return to tend to the Grand Master. She is stopped by one of the Janitor Monks, who whispers of a rumor that Grand Master Zho did indeed have an affair with a woman (before taking vows of celibacy) named Ming, who then gave birth to a son named Ping (which prompted a question “Did they have another child named Pong?” from Qui at a later time). Lola is positive she has a spell which will help Zho, but she must meditate and memorize it first.
Qui, meanwhile, notices one of the temple pillars looks entirely different from the others. The discovery is that the different pillar is hollow. A fumble by Boof causes the pillar (accidentally) to shatter, and Rana finds, and pockets, a key in the shards of the new rubble. This action is only noticed by Qui. In the trip back to the tavern, Qui asks Rana about it, and she relays the discovery of the key. They both also spot guards at the back entrance to the temple.
In an uncharacteristic personal action, Boof decides to Gather Information back at the bar. Qui and Rana lounge in the doorway to enjoy what follows:
Boof: Hi. Grand Master Zho – he good?
Barkeep: Yes.
Boof: Okay.
End of conversation as it is clear this is NOT the answer Boof expected and he has no idea how to proceed from there. Meanwhile, Qui and Rana are dying of laughter in the doorway. The group tromps upstairs and walk in on a meditating Lola, who politely informs them of her intention and pointedly directs them back downstairs. After bringing her up to speed, especially with Boof’s enlightening piece of information regarding GM Zho, they return to the bar. Boof attempts to engage in conversation with a bar patron, which basically consists of monosyllabic Boof grunts about his Hortense and the bar patron (later known as ‘Tony’) responding politely to the socially depraved half-orc Barbarian. (added note by DM, Boof begins by asking what the patron does for fun around here, you like to have a good time?, to which Tony responds that he is not interested and is happily married.)Eventually, Boof shows a tattered picture of Florissa to the patron, who stares in unbelievingly awe, until Qui explains that it is Hortense’s cousin. Shortly afterwards, the patron leaves the bar, rather quickly. Qui makes the comment to the laughing barkeep that Boof’s verbal exchange was “some of the funniest shit ever”.
Lola, in the meantime, has revived from her trance and cast Dispel Curse on Zho. Through gentle questioning, she discovers the son, Ping, is in the graveyard and the party will find their answers there. The guards at the temple block the entrance to the cemetery, and Qui takes up the resistance here:
Qui: Hey, can’t you all see that I’m a monk?
Guards: This whole town is full of monks.
Rana: Can’t you see that I’m a fighter?
Guards: Uh.
The guards continue to refuse entry, and Qui attempts to challenge one of the guards. Lola receives the award for Most Wasted Spellcasting Effort as she casts Sanctuary (nobody can attack her) and then Hold Person on the guard who succeeded a Will save. As it turns out, the only thing the party needed was for the Janitor Monks to show up to provide clearance. Qui laments his wasted “man” effort. Ping’s headstone contains a small keyhole, and as Rana attempts to insert the key, it occurs to Qui and Lola that further circumstance clarification is needed.
Then, Qui and Lola inadvertently tell the JMs they are traveling to the Celestial Plane for the potion. The monks excitedly want to know if the party recovered THE KEY that unlocks the portal, and Qui declares, “Maybe.” Forehead-slapping all around. In an amazing save of a lifetime, Boof produces an ordinary silver key from his belongings and gives it to the monks…who accept the decoy gratefully, as they have no idea what THE KEY looks like.
OOG: Kimba is slightly horrified at Andrew’s cat-skewering story.
Rana inserts the key, and immediately, the ground falls out from underneath Boof and Rana, leaving Qui and Lola on the Material Plane. After a quick glance, they leap into the gaping hole. A couple of Tumble checks later, the pressing question is whether or not the monks will notice their sudden disappearance. Anyway…
The party is now on a floating island, in which a large pagoda temple stands. A stairway and doors of gold adorn the front entrance; however, it is in the back, cellar-door-like entrance that the party is able to get inside. And in the manner of a brief list recap, here is the action that proceeds:
The “Rat Symbol” Room: DIRE RATS!
1. Qui happens to be fighting the only diseased rat and refuses to touch, opting for the quarterstaff instead.
2. Boof relieves two of their oxygen consumption.
3. Lola Flame Strikes one to death.
4. Qui ends up killing the diseased rat, plus another one with Rana’s help.
5. Rana, Qui, and Lola ascend the spiral staircase, while Boof checks out the remaining room. There, he finds a mug (for his Hortense), a length of silk rope, a clear glass chalice, and a ball of thin wire.
The “Bull Symbol” Room: GORGONS!
1. Boof cleaves and Lola Flame Strikes one.
2. Since these mechanical bulls are eight feet tall, Qui activates his Ring of Jumping to leap up and administer his Flurry of Blows.
3. Lola and Rana get gored before landing hits of their own.
4. Qui leaps into the air and fumbles, punching air instead of Gorgon.
The “Bull Symbol” Room Continued: MINOTAURS!
1. Much swinging, fighting, and hurting occurs here.
2. Qui Stunning Fists and Boof kills.
3. In an epic, climactic finale, Lola and her Minotaur strike each other down at the exactly the same time.
4. Qui gives a healing potion to the unconscious cleric, who then finishes healing duties.
The “Tiger Symbol” Room: MANTICORES!
1. Party instantly does Reflex saves, and Qui pulls off a sweet “Matrix” move.
2. Other party members watch this in awe, and thus take major spike damage from the manticore’s tail.
3. Manticore #2 attempts to bite and claw Qui, who exclaims, “I can respect that.” (added note by DM: Many references to hitting the kitty with a stick, no kitty, bad kitty!!)
4. Rana considers the usefulness of a spray bottle of Holy Water (Down, kitty!)
5. Boof wants to chuck a manticore carcass against the wall, but decides against it as he is unable to lift roughly 10,000 pounds.
The “Tiger Symbol” Room Continued: DIRE TIGERS!
1. Boof and Rana are so enamored of the intricate tiger mural in this room, they fail a Spot check and two advancing tigers.
2. Qui and Lola see the tigers. Qui immediately bursts forth and begins punching, Lola Flame Strikes the other.
3. The other two are WTF? at these actions that break out suddenly.
4. The scorched tiger now makes for Rana.
5. There is stunning and healing, and finally the bad kitties are dead.
The “Bunny Symbol” Room: BUNNIES!
1. Boof: “I am terrified of bunnies!”
2. Meadow contains peaceful bunnies. Lola Detects Magic and notices glowing blotches on the floor...but the bunnies themselves are not magical.
3. Bunnies are peacefully cleared out of the way, and group then puts together puzzle pieces on the ground. Actually, Qui searches for the puzzle pieces, Rana and Boof put the actual pieces together.
4. Lola contributes pretty much nothing to this whole effort.
5. This room contains no violence – something we were all unprepared for.
The next room is the room with the Great Seal – all members are healed and leveled!
Mrs. Tiki’s adventure left off with the party returning to the Kingdom of Asatira, and the joyous reunion of Princess Florissa and her father, as well as the celebration of true love.
Word reaches the party that Mordred the traitor has taken the road to the south. Suspicions fall upon the neutral good cleric Lola as the one who proclaimed to the King that they would pursue Mordred to exact justice.
Before the party runs off like mad, impetuous children, they stop in at the tavern. The barkeep and Lola come to the conclusion that Mordred is indeed shifty; Boof expresses his intense desire to go south (“Hortense south”, he says). However, the entire party is in for a surprise as Boof stops at the general store with one intention: to purchase a ring for his intended fiancée. Lola takes a moment to remind Boof that Hortense has not agreed to marry him, and it was purely a suggestion on the part of Florissa as a diversion. Boof is positive Hortense will marry him, and carries on his shopping spree (new armor, a ring, some Charisma potion). Rana and Qui also pick up some Cure potions, lightening the cleric’s load.
A hilarious exchange occurs at the jeweler’s as Boof realizes he does not have enough money for a diamond ring. In addition, he is also not able to provide particular helpful details (height, size, look) to the jeweler to help the selection process. Instead:
J: Is she the same race as you?
B: Yes. She beautiful.
J: Uh. Okay.
Qui interjects with: “In theory.”
With the shopping expedition over, the company heads south. Within a day’s walk and overnight camp, they reach the small village of Shang. At the first sight of the party, the villagers run screaming for their homes. No doubt this seems verily odd to the party as they continue to the middle of town, where they are met by a meek, nervous-looking young man wielding a weapon. He identifies himself as the town protector (at which point Qui, Rana, and Lola exchanges wondering glances at the irony of that announcement). The young man then tells the story of a great, tall magician striding into town, demanding some kind of magic object from the town’s Grand Master, who refused to give it. The angry magician then obliterated the temple in which the GM resided and trained his apprentices. The Protector then tells of the incapacitated GM, who requires healing. How convenient this party happens to have someone who fits that bill. Lola offers her services, and the man ushers the party rather quickly over to the tavern/inn, aptly named “The Celestial Cup.” Upstairs the Grand master lies, and Lola quickly lays hands on him. He comes around enough to mutter the following words: “Stop him, first key, pillar, path to Heaven, my son will help…”
While this interesting conversation is happening, another is occurring down in the tavern area. Qui is chatting up the barkeep who mentions the Temple of the Celestial Pagoda and a Legendary Potion. Qui repeats these words about four times before serious remonstrations from the barkeep about the volume of his voice. The general assumption is that the magician was trying to steal this potion. It is unclear if he was successful or not. Also, Qui discovers the Grand Master’s name is Zho. At the mention of the temple, Rana exits the tavern en route for that place. Qui finishes up shortly after and bumps into Boof and Lola, who are descending from the GM’s room. All decide to head for the tavern, but not before they are accosted by a drunk guy who tells Qui that supposedly the “temple is a test to see who’s worthy”. Rana happens to slip into the destroyed temple, unnoticed by the two monks who are on clean up duty.
The rest of the party arrives, and Boof is put on clean-up detail too, being a man of strength and all. The magician obviously used explosive spells of some sort, as the inside is complete rubble. Once the monks see the party, the gathering of information begins:
1. The temple protects the potion
2. The potion is located on another plane
Lola feels positive there is nothing else she needs to know, so she plans to return to tend to the Grand Master. She is stopped by one of the Janitor Monks, who whispers of a rumor that Grand Master Zho did indeed have an affair with a woman (before taking vows of celibacy) named Ming, who then gave birth to a son named Ping (which prompted a question “Did they have another child named Pong?” from Qui at a later time). Lola is positive she has a spell which will help Zho, but she must meditate and memorize it first.
Qui, meanwhile, notices one of the temple pillars looks entirely different from the others. The discovery is that the different pillar is hollow. A fumble by Boof causes the pillar (accidentally) to shatter, and Rana finds, and pockets, a key in the shards of the new rubble. This action is only noticed by Qui. In the trip back to the tavern, Qui asks Rana about it, and she relays the discovery of the key. They both also spot guards at the back entrance to the temple.
In an uncharacteristic personal action, Boof decides to Gather Information back at the bar. Qui and Rana lounge in the doorway to enjoy what follows:
Boof: Hi. Grand Master Zho – he good?
Barkeep: Yes.
Boof: Okay.
End of conversation as it is clear this is NOT the answer Boof expected and he has no idea how to proceed from there. Meanwhile, Qui and Rana are dying of laughter in the doorway. The group tromps upstairs and walk in on a meditating Lola, who politely informs them of her intention and pointedly directs them back downstairs. After bringing her up to speed, especially with Boof’s enlightening piece of information regarding GM Zho, they return to the bar. Boof attempts to engage in conversation with a bar patron, which basically consists of monosyllabic Boof grunts about his Hortense and the bar patron (later known as ‘Tony’) responding politely to the socially depraved half-orc Barbarian. (added note by DM, Boof begins by asking what the patron does for fun around here, you like to have a good time?, to which Tony responds that he is not interested and is happily married.)Eventually, Boof shows a tattered picture of Florissa to the patron, who stares in unbelievingly awe, until Qui explains that it is Hortense’s cousin. Shortly afterwards, the patron leaves the bar, rather quickly. Qui makes the comment to the laughing barkeep that Boof’s verbal exchange was “some of the funniest shit ever”.
Lola, in the meantime, has revived from her trance and cast Dispel Curse on Zho. Through gentle questioning, she discovers the son, Ping, is in the graveyard and the party will find their answers there. The guards at the temple block the entrance to the cemetery, and Qui takes up the resistance here:
Qui: Hey, can’t you all see that I’m a monk?
Guards: This whole town is full of monks.
Rana: Can’t you see that I’m a fighter?
Guards: Uh.
The guards continue to refuse entry, and Qui attempts to challenge one of the guards. Lola receives the award for Most Wasted Spellcasting Effort as she casts Sanctuary (nobody can attack her) and then Hold Person on the guard who succeeded a Will save. As it turns out, the only thing the party needed was for the Janitor Monks to show up to provide clearance. Qui laments his wasted “man” effort. Ping’s headstone contains a small keyhole, and as Rana attempts to insert the key, it occurs to Qui and Lola that further circumstance clarification is needed.
Then, Qui and Lola inadvertently tell the JMs they are traveling to the Celestial Plane for the potion. The monks excitedly want to know if the party recovered THE KEY that unlocks the portal, and Qui declares, “Maybe.” Forehead-slapping all around. In an amazing save of a lifetime, Boof produces an ordinary silver key from his belongings and gives it to the monks…who accept the decoy gratefully, as they have no idea what THE KEY looks like.
OOG: Kimba is slightly horrified at Andrew’s cat-skewering story.
Rana inserts the key, and immediately, the ground falls out from underneath Boof and Rana, leaving Qui and Lola on the Material Plane. After a quick glance, they leap into the gaping hole. A couple of Tumble checks later, the pressing question is whether or not the monks will notice their sudden disappearance. Anyway…
The party is now on a floating island, in which a large pagoda temple stands. A stairway and doors of gold adorn the front entrance; however, it is in the back, cellar-door-like entrance that the party is able to get inside. And in the manner of a brief list recap, here is the action that proceeds:
The “Rat Symbol” Room: DIRE RATS!
1. Qui happens to be fighting the only diseased rat and refuses to touch, opting for the quarterstaff instead.
2. Boof relieves two of their oxygen consumption.
3. Lola Flame Strikes one to death.
4. Qui ends up killing the diseased rat, plus another one with Rana’s help.
5. Rana, Qui, and Lola ascend the spiral staircase, while Boof checks out the remaining room. There, he finds a mug (for his Hortense), a length of silk rope, a clear glass chalice, and a ball of thin wire.
The “Bull Symbol” Room: GORGONS!
1. Boof cleaves and Lola Flame Strikes one.
2. Since these mechanical bulls are eight feet tall, Qui activates his Ring of Jumping to leap up and administer his Flurry of Blows.
3. Lola and Rana get gored before landing hits of their own.
4. Qui leaps into the air and fumbles, punching air instead of Gorgon.
The “Bull Symbol” Room Continued: MINOTAURS!
1. Much swinging, fighting, and hurting occurs here.
2. Qui Stunning Fists and Boof kills.
3. In an epic, climactic finale, Lola and her Minotaur strike each other down at the exactly the same time.
4. Qui gives a healing potion to the unconscious cleric, who then finishes healing duties.
The “Tiger Symbol” Room: MANTICORES!
1. Party instantly does Reflex saves, and Qui pulls off a sweet “Matrix” move.
2. Other party members watch this in awe, and thus take major spike damage from the manticore’s tail.
3. Manticore #2 attempts to bite and claw Qui, who exclaims, “I can respect that.” (added note by DM: Many references to hitting the kitty with a stick, no kitty, bad kitty!!)
4. Rana considers the usefulness of a spray bottle of Holy Water (Down, kitty!)
5. Boof wants to chuck a manticore carcass against the wall, but decides against it as he is unable to lift roughly 10,000 pounds.
The “Tiger Symbol” Room Continued: DIRE TIGERS!
1. Boof and Rana are so enamored of the intricate tiger mural in this room, they fail a Spot check and two advancing tigers.
2. Qui and Lola see the tigers. Qui immediately bursts forth and begins punching, Lola Flame Strikes the other.
3. The other two are WTF? at these actions that break out suddenly.
4. The scorched tiger now makes for Rana.
5. There is stunning and healing, and finally the bad kitties are dead.
The “Bunny Symbol” Room: BUNNIES!
1. Boof: “I am terrified of bunnies!”
2. Meadow contains peaceful bunnies. Lola Detects Magic and notices glowing blotches on the floor...but the bunnies themselves are not magical.
3. Bunnies are peacefully cleared out of the way, and group then puts together puzzle pieces on the ground. Actually, Qui searches for the puzzle pieces, Rana and Boof put the actual pieces together.
4. Lola contributes pretty much nothing to this whole effort.
5. This room contains no violence – something we were all unprepared for.
The next room is the room with the Great Seal – all members are healed and leveled!
The Rescue of Princess Florissa - FINALE!
**Insert random quote here about the slippery quality of time***
Can you believe our valiant party of Dungeon and Dragon adventurers has not convened since October? I guess that’s what National Novel Writing Month, Christmas/New Year’s, and the vacuum of January will do a brave company of monster-slayers. It happens to the best of us, I’m sure.
We are meeting again today, under the leadership of Mrs. Tiki, whose fairy-tale themed adventure we had not played since May. The party is composed of the following:
Boof the half-orc barbarian (Brent)
Rana the half-elf fighter (Kimba)
Qui the half-elf monk (Capt)
Lola the gnome cleric (Yours Truly)
Justice Chambers, a frog-turned-Paladin NPC
At last recount, the party’s mission involved rescuing the beautiful and sought-after Princess Florissa. After transporting to a distant location, the party has battled numerous creatures and dilemmas… managing to emerge, unscathed and undamaged. Until now...
Upon waking up in the Dumbo room, many admirations fly about the room about Boof’s new ring, which Lola identifies as a Ring of Regeneration. This seems fairly innocuous at the time, but will come in handy later. Beginning the trek onward, the party comes to a room with multiple wooden doors, and after a strenuous round of “Eenie Meenie Miney Moe”, Rana chooses the one on the left.
The door opens onto a bizarre scene. The entire left side wall is decorated with all kinds of puppets. Qui pokes one with his quarterstaff, but nothing happens, not even when he asks one “Which one of you wants to be a real boy?” Boof steals one with red pigtails. Rana spots a key up near the ceiling, and begins fashioning a lasso to retrieve it. Boof, Lola, and Qui all experience the bitter taste of failure as the barbarian can’t activate his magic flying boots and Lola fails her Detect Magic spell. Qui smashes a puppet in his unsuccessful effort to reach the key. Boof offers to throw Qui, who says, “I have Slow Fall!” Justice says no and reminds the group of Lola’s earlier idea – tell lies (think Pinocchio). The noses of the puppets grow little by little as the group tells all manners of lies. Using the noses as a ladder of sorts, Qui climbs up and retrieves the key.
Unlocking the door on the right, the group walks in on six dire wolves. There is biting and smiting, flaming and shaming, hitting and spitting…and in the end, the air hangs heavy with the reek of scorched, dying wolf fur.
The middle door contains a bed, candlebra, clock, and wardrobe. In a macabre scene straight from the cut footage of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, these three simple objects now becomes animated weapons of pseudo-mass destruction. Boof and Lola succeed at Grapple checks with the candlebra and clock, respectively. Qui attacks the wardrobe with his quarterstaff, which leads to a brief conversation on how animation works…ultimately, the group wonders why Qui just doesn’t punch the wardrobe in its mahogany face. The discovery of a trap door under the bed results in an interesting “isn’t that freaking ironic?” moment: Boof and Qui both epic fail their Strength check – and the trap door does not budge. However, the tiny 3’1” cleric gnome swings it open easily. Huh. Rana lights the bedroom on fire.
The new room contains five doors – each one contains a symbol representing the five party members. A mirror image appears in each door and the following exchanges occur:
Lola: Casts Detect Magic and discovers her “essence” on the other side. In a Nestea-like backwards plunge, she disappears through her door.
Boof: Spits on the image of himself, who pulls an ax. The Real Boof ends up raging on himself.
Rana: Does a full-on cannonball through her door, but not before conducting a very paranoid conversation with herself.
Justice: Greets himself cordially.
Qui: Greets his mirror image as well, before launching into a philosophical conversation.
OOG Discussion: How exactly would a monk rage? Qui provides a sample demonstration.
The party members return to the five-door room shortly, each one receiving a gift from their "twins":
Lola: Aspergillum made of gold, Amulet of Memory
Boof: After kicking his own ass, he receives the long-awaited Maul of the Titans
Qui: Ki Straps, Amulet of Mighty Fist
Rana: Headband of Ferocity, and a +1 suit of scale mail
Justice: Mantle of Faith (it matches his eyes, too!)
After a brief rest, Boof feels the need to use his new toy on a wooden door nearby. The door totally shatters, sustaining 48 points of Maul damage. Boof is happy. The room (now minus a door) contains several mattresses….as well as several basilisks and ogres. After an incorrect version of “The Princess and the Pea” by Qui, Rana finds a key. A quick recap here:
Four dead ogres courtesy of Book, Rana, and Justice.
Three basilisks dead only after Lola sears one and Justice Criticals. Boof fails a Fort save and is turned to stone (Justice cures). Justice ends up killing one more, while Qui takes out the other.
Rana and Lola bounce around on mattresses while singing “We have Sloow Falllll….” to Qui. However, the hilarity of the moment is lost when Rana falls off the mattresses and takes two points of slamming-her-head-on-the-ground damage.
Another staircase upwards leads to jungle-type terrain. A failed Will save by Rana and Boof renders them terrified. The jungle is full of vicious lions and tigers, and one narrow wooden plank is the only thing between the party and safety. This prompts Qui to offer a piggyback ride to Lola, who accepts. It is on the back of Qui that Lola fails a Will save and completely freaks out, then impelling Qui to roll a Grapple check to keep a hold of her. Rana recalls that animals fear fire, and so she sets the wooden plank alight. Before this though, Rana is able to lure Boof across the plank with a piece of tattered lace, saying, “Boof, it’s the Princess, she’s naked!” The resulting time it takes for Boof to cross the ravine is still the fastest forty-yard sprint time in the ancient world.
The next room the party enters is crafted in the manner of Rumplestiltskin. Boof stupidly touches the spindle, and Lola and Qui watch in awe as Rana begins spinning gold. Then, Qui totally ruins the moment by completely desecrating the story of Rumplestiltskin (evil midget dude slips princess a roofie, takes advantage of her, knocks her up).
The party then returns to a room with a Great Seal and are healed instantly.
A room off to the side contains a single glass slipper on a pedestal. Lola asks Boof to try it, and he agrees. However, he fumbles, breaks the slipper, and as he rolls in the shards of glass, a loud click is heard and….BLUE DRAGON!
A desperate battle rages against a incredibly tough-skinned dragon. Lola is the laughingstock of the group (briefly) as she attempts to summon a Celestial Bison. There is a lot of punching, raging, arrowing (not to mention missed arrows and dropped bows), and healing. The Barbarian’s stunning epiphany: run back to the previous room to reheal himself. Lola is grateful. However, the dragon proves to be more than the party can handle…causing the DM to exclaim, “Where did all these skeletons come from?” In what can only be explained as an Act of God, the lammasu from the beginning of the adventure appears and casts Cure Mass Critical Wounds. And the party is rejuvenated…
Qui then attempts to use Stunning Fist, only to fumble. Boof critically hits, and Lola’s bison dies in a blaze of glory (literally). In a quick moment of remembrance of the nameless bison, the whole group forms a pair of horns with their hands. In the end all, be all of storybook clichés, Justice (the Paladin in shining armor) finally slays the dragon. The party races up a flight of stairs to find a woman lying on a bed.
Boof realizes this as the princess mincess of his dreams. He races to her, kisses her, she awakens, and….TOTALLY FREAKS OUT! She tries to run from the room, when she sees the manly, hunky Justice Chambers. He suddenly realizes his true love for Princess Florissa and they embrace.
Even Boof’s peabrain understands what’s happening here. He begins raging.
Princess F is obviously uncomfortable, and she gently informs Boof that, “Sorry, Boof, but Justice is my one true love.” The emotions run across Boof’s face, and in a last-ditch effort to win Florissa’s love: he shouts, “How about this?” and hacks off his own arm (just below the elbow). He offers the bloody appendage as a token of his love. The entire group goes “Ewwwwwwww……..”.
Florissa is obviously discomfited (and yet, not impressed). An awkward moment occurs as the group stares at the heavy blood flowing from Boof’s stump before Lola staunches the wound.
THEN…Princess Florissa has the magic solution! Her cousin Hortense would make a PERFECT match for Boof, who, despite looking sickly and pale from blood loss, appears to accept the proposed match. OOG: KImba and Heather are laughing so hard, their bladders lose control.
Exit Strategy: Lola the cleric sees a shimmery portal and group is magically returned to the library. After a joyful reunion, the King reveals Mordred is indeed a traitor and has fled the town to the south.
Can you believe our valiant party of Dungeon and Dragon adventurers has not convened since October? I guess that’s what National Novel Writing Month, Christmas/New Year’s, and the vacuum of January will do a brave company of monster-slayers. It happens to the best of us, I’m sure.
We are meeting again today, under the leadership of Mrs. Tiki, whose fairy-tale themed adventure we had not played since May. The party is composed of the following:
Boof the half-orc barbarian (Brent)
Rana the half-elf fighter (Kimba)
Qui the half-elf monk (Capt)
Lola the gnome cleric (Yours Truly)
Justice Chambers, a frog-turned-Paladin NPC
At last recount, the party’s mission involved rescuing the beautiful and sought-after Princess Florissa. After transporting to a distant location, the party has battled numerous creatures and dilemmas… managing to emerge, unscathed and undamaged. Until now...
Upon waking up in the Dumbo room, many admirations fly about the room about Boof’s new ring, which Lola identifies as a Ring of Regeneration. This seems fairly innocuous at the time, but will come in handy later. Beginning the trek onward, the party comes to a room with multiple wooden doors, and after a strenuous round of “Eenie Meenie Miney Moe”, Rana chooses the one on the left.
The door opens onto a bizarre scene. The entire left side wall is decorated with all kinds of puppets. Qui pokes one with his quarterstaff, but nothing happens, not even when he asks one “Which one of you wants to be a real boy?” Boof steals one with red pigtails. Rana spots a key up near the ceiling, and begins fashioning a lasso to retrieve it. Boof, Lola, and Qui all experience the bitter taste of failure as the barbarian can’t activate his magic flying boots and Lola fails her Detect Magic spell. Qui smashes a puppet in his unsuccessful effort to reach the key. Boof offers to throw Qui, who says, “I have Slow Fall!” Justice says no and reminds the group of Lola’s earlier idea – tell lies (think Pinocchio). The noses of the puppets grow little by little as the group tells all manners of lies. Using the noses as a ladder of sorts, Qui climbs up and retrieves the key.
Unlocking the door on the right, the group walks in on six dire wolves. There is biting and smiting, flaming and shaming, hitting and spitting…and in the end, the air hangs heavy with the reek of scorched, dying wolf fur.
The middle door contains a bed, candlebra, clock, and wardrobe. In a macabre scene straight from the cut footage of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, these three simple objects now becomes animated weapons of pseudo-mass destruction. Boof and Lola succeed at Grapple checks with the candlebra and clock, respectively. Qui attacks the wardrobe with his quarterstaff, which leads to a brief conversation on how animation works…ultimately, the group wonders why Qui just doesn’t punch the wardrobe in its mahogany face. The discovery of a trap door under the bed results in an interesting “isn’t that freaking ironic?” moment: Boof and Qui both epic fail their Strength check – and the trap door does not budge. However, the tiny 3’1” cleric gnome swings it open easily. Huh. Rana lights the bedroom on fire.
The new room contains five doors – each one contains a symbol representing the five party members. A mirror image appears in each door and the following exchanges occur:
Lola: Casts Detect Magic and discovers her “essence” on the other side. In a Nestea-like backwards plunge, she disappears through her door.
Boof: Spits on the image of himself, who pulls an ax. The Real Boof ends up raging on himself.
Rana: Does a full-on cannonball through her door, but not before conducting a very paranoid conversation with herself.
Justice: Greets himself cordially.
Qui: Greets his mirror image as well, before launching into a philosophical conversation.
OOG Discussion: How exactly would a monk rage? Qui provides a sample demonstration.
The party members return to the five-door room shortly, each one receiving a gift from their "twins":
Lola: Aspergillum made of gold, Amulet of Memory
Boof: After kicking his own ass, he receives the long-awaited Maul of the Titans
Qui: Ki Straps, Amulet of Mighty Fist
Rana: Headband of Ferocity, and a +1 suit of scale mail
Justice: Mantle of Faith (it matches his eyes, too!)
After a brief rest, Boof feels the need to use his new toy on a wooden door nearby. The door totally shatters, sustaining 48 points of Maul damage. Boof is happy. The room (now minus a door) contains several mattresses….as well as several basilisks and ogres. After an incorrect version of “The Princess and the Pea” by Qui, Rana finds a key. A quick recap here:
Four dead ogres courtesy of Book, Rana, and Justice.
Three basilisks dead only after Lola sears one and Justice Criticals. Boof fails a Fort save and is turned to stone (Justice cures). Justice ends up killing one more, while Qui takes out the other.
Rana and Lola bounce around on mattresses while singing “We have Sloow Falllll….” to Qui. However, the hilarity of the moment is lost when Rana falls off the mattresses and takes two points of slamming-her-head-on-the-ground damage.
Another staircase upwards leads to jungle-type terrain. A failed Will save by Rana and Boof renders them terrified. The jungle is full of vicious lions and tigers, and one narrow wooden plank is the only thing between the party and safety. This prompts Qui to offer a piggyback ride to Lola, who accepts. It is on the back of Qui that Lola fails a Will save and completely freaks out, then impelling Qui to roll a Grapple check to keep a hold of her. Rana recalls that animals fear fire, and so she sets the wooden plank alight. Before this though, Rana is able to lure Boof across the plank with a piece of tattered lace, saying, “Boof, it’s the Princess, she’s naked!” The resulting time it takes for Boof to cross the ravine is still the fastest forty-yard sprint time in the ancient world.
The next room the party enters is crafted in the manner of Rumplestiltskin. Boof stupidly touches the spindle, and Lola and Qui watch in awe as Rana begins spinning gold. Then, Qui totally ruins the moment by completely desecrating the story of Rumplestiltskin (evil midget dude slips princess a roofie, takes advantage of her, knocks her up).
The party then returns to a room with a Great Seal and are healed instantly.
A room off to the side contains a single glass slipper on a pedestal. Lola asks Boof to try it, and he agrees. However, he fumbles, breaks the slipper, and as he rolls in the shards of glass, a loud click is heard and….BLUE DRAGON!
A desperate battle rages against a incredibly tough-skinned dragon. Lola is the laughingstock of the group (briefly) as she attempts to summon a Celestial Bison. There is a lot of punching, raging, arrowing (not to mention missed arrows and dropped bows), and healing. The Barbarian’s stunning epiphany: run back to the previous room to reheal himself. Lola is grateful. However, the dragon proves to be more than the party can handle…causing the DM to exclaim, “Where did all these skeletons come from?” In what can only be explained as an Act of God, the lammasu from the beginning of the adventure appears and casts Cure Mass Critical Wounds. And the party is rejuvenated…
Qui then attempts to use Stunning Fist, only to fumble. Boof critically hits, and Lola’s bison dies in a blaze of glory (literally). In a quick moment of remembrance of the nameless bison, the whole group forms a pair of horns with their hands. In the end all, be all of storybook clichés, Justice (the Paladin in shining armor) finally slays the dragon. The party races up a flight of stairs to find a woman lying on a bed.
Boof realizes this as the princess mincess of his dreams. He races to her, kisses her, she awakens, and….TOTALLY FREAKS OUT! She tries to run from the room, when she sees the manly, hunky Justice Chambers. He suddenly realizes his true love for Princess Florissa and they embrace.
Even Boof’s peabrain understands what’s happening here. He begins raging.
Princess F is obviously uncomfortable, and she gently informs Boof that, “Sorry, Boof, but Justice is my one true love.” The emotions run across Boof’s face, and in a last-ditch effort to win Florissa’s love: he shouts, “How about this?” and hacks off his own arm (just below the elbow). He offers the bloody appendage as a token of his love. The entire group goes “Ewwwwwwww……..”.
Florissa is obviously discomfited (and yet, not impressed). An awkward moment occurs as the group stares at the heavy blood flowing from Boof’s stump before Lola staunches the wound.
THEN…Princess Florissa has the magic solution! Her cousin Hortense would make a PERFECT match for Boof, who, despite looking sickly and pale from blood loss, appears to accept the proposed match. OOG: KImba and Heather are laughing so hard, their bladders lose control.
Exit Strategy: Lola the cleric sees a shimmery portal and group is magically returned to the library. After a joyful reunion, the King reveals Mordred is indeed a traitor and has fled the town to the south.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Frosty: Episode 4
A million thanks to our illustrious scribe!!!
Well, dammit all to hell. I had this whole thing typed up and ready to go, and it went amiss due to technical difficulties.
For any background information, cross reference the post from August 30, 2009.
Our valiant adventurers had just overtaken a guarded caravan, due to an excellently planned and executed diversion plan. With Pyre the Ranger driving the now-vacated wagon, Ellora the Sorceress and Bavmorda the Rogue following on horseback, and Brunhilda the half-orc inside, the party set off for Mount Dew in the quest to rescue Fern.
As the surrounding terrain grew more wild and rocky, the party noted larger-than-life spider webs adorning the wilderness. It is at this time the Ranger amazes the entire group with this astounding precept: Large spider webs usually means large spiders. The rogue ridicules Pyre for his “four years of elf school”. That observation is especially ironic in several minutes when Pyre is bitten by a rapidly descending arachnid. Brunhilda does maximum cleaving damage and Ellora finishes it with her crossbow. Ellora then uncovers a longbow and studded leather suit among the spider corpse.
Continuing on to Mount Dew, the party is accosted by Air Eagle (whatsherface’s mate), who offers rides directly to the gate. Ellora eagerly takes AE up on his offer, but Pyre decides to study the bridge’s possibilities for several moments. Per Murphy’s Law, the moment Pyre and Brunhilda begin to cross the bridge, they are attacked by trolls. A brief battle ensues, along with eagle swooping, hacking, and arrow puncturing. Shortly afterwards, Pyre and Brunhilda join the others. Air Eagle informs the group he is vehemently against Teaville…a factoid that might be useful later…
The doors of Mount Dew are strong and sturdy, and Brunhilda looks to flex her muscles as she attempts to beat down the door. However, that fails…but alas, the handle works! Brunhilda compensates by totally punching down the now-slightly ajar door. Within the dark space, a noise is heard, and Brunhilda takes off at a dead sprint to…MINOTAUR! The barbarian rages, and soon the hallways carry the smell of singed Minotaur flesh. However, the barbarian’s raging state does not end for several minutes, and so the entire party is witness to a thorough annihilation of a random storeroom boxes and crates by Brunhilda. Searching debris renders some Cure Moderate Wounds potions and a “Lint Ball in a Bag”, found by the Rogue.
The party ascends a ladder at this time, and in the middle of the new room is a table, on which a random map is placed. How fortuitous our adventurers are! This map details an impending takeover route of Kokoa and other neighboring cities. What such an important map is doing in such a conspicuous place is puzzling indeed. The company continues up another ladder and is met by a group of soldiers, all of whom are dispatched quickly. Ellora manages to cast Hold Person on one, and begins tying him up…for questioning purposes.
Pyre soon brings over his sharpened blade point to hover at “Todd’s” throat. Ellora reminds Pyre that the HP spell wears off soon, and so his torture strategies will need to be quickly executed. Todd informs them that yes, there is an invasion planned, and yes, a force of roughly 20-30 soldiers is en route to Mount Dew. This is not new news to the group – remember the map from earlier? Todd informs Pyre that more useful information could be obtained from his boss…but alas, that guy is discovered to be dead from the fray earlier. Bavmorda and Ellora exit the room through another ladder.
Bav and Ellora overhear more men talking the room above. Ellora then casts Disguise Self, and adopts the disguise of Stoned Canadian Warrior. Her plan is to gather any new information about the takeover. Her plan is thwarted, however, by Pyre, who has grown tired of the slow conversation and takes matters into her own hands. He shouts, “Hey Bill, the shipment’s here.” Nine unarmed guards scurry down the ladder only to be met by Pyre, Brunhilda, and Bavmorda and their weapons of death. Ellora is a bit disgruntled and casts Daze on Pyre. She impels him to not interfere with her plans again.
After he snaps out of it, the company enters into a Dire Wolverine (insert X-Men claw-appearing sound). Brunhilda and Pyre battle it, Bavmorda fumbles, and Ellora spectates. Another ladder leads to another occupied room, which leads to another onslaught, which leads to another nine dead bodies. Here, Pyre locates a blue key and gold pieces. The group decision here is to move back to the Wolverine Room and rest. The discussion at this time is the awkwardness of the slew of corpses the party has left in its wake. Brunhilda’s clean up plan involves throwing all cadavers out the nearest window. The party lets her have at it.
And thus ends the night.
Well, dammit all to hell. I had this whole thing typed up and ready to go, and it went amiss due to technical difficulties.
For any background information, cross reference the post from August 30, 2009.
Our valiant adventurers had just overtaken a guarded caravan, due to an excellently planned and executed diversion plan. With Pyre the Ranger driving the now-vacated wagon, Ellora the Sorceress and Bavmorda the Rogue following on horseback, and Brunhilda the half-orc inside, the party set off for Mount Dew in the quest to rescue Fern.
As the surrounding terrain grew more wild and rocky, the party noted larger-than-life spider webs adorning the wilderness. It is at this time the Ranger amazes the entire group with this astounding precept: Large spider webs usually means large spiders. The rogue ridicules Pyre for his “four years of elf school”. That observation is especially ironic in several minutes when Pyre is bitten by a rapidly descending arachnid. Brunhilda does maximum cleaving damage and Ellora finishes it with her crossbow. Ellora then uncovers a longbow and studded leather suit among the spider corpse.
Continuing on to Mount Dew, the party is accosted by Air Eagle (whatsherface’s mate), who offers rides directly to the gate. Ellora eagerly takes AE up on his offer, but Pyre decides to study the bridge’s possibilities for several moments. Per Murphy’s Law, the moment Pyre and Brunhilda begin to cross the bridge, they are attacked by trolls. A brief battle ensues, along with eagle swooping, hacking, and arrow puncturing. Shortly afterwards, Pyre and Brunhilda join the others. Air Eagle informs the group he is vehemently against Teaville…a factoid that might be useful later…
The doors of Mount Dew are strong and sturdy, and Brunhilda looks to flex her muscles as she attempts to beat down the door. However, that fails…but alas, the handle works! Brunhilda compensates by totally punching down the now-slightly ajar door. Within the dark space, a noise is heard, and Brunhilda takes off at a dead sprint to…MINOTAUR! The barbarian rages, and soon the hallways carry the smell of singed Minotaur flesh. However, the barbarian’s raging state does not end for several minutes, and so the entire party is witness to a thorough annihilation of a random storeroom boxes and crates by Brunhilda. Searching debris renders some Cure Moderate Wounds potions and a “Lint Ball in a Bag”, found by the Rogue.
The party ascends a ladder at this time, and in the middle of the new room is a table, on which a random map is placed. How fortuitous our adventurers are! This map details an impending takeover route of Kokoa and other neighboring cities. What such an important map is doing in such a conspicuous place is puzzling indeed. The company continues up another ladder and is met by a group of soldiers, all of whom are dispatched quickly. Ellora manages to cast Hold Person on one, and begins tying him up…for questioning purposes.
Pyre soon brings over his sharpened blade point to hover at “Todd’s” throat. Ellora reminds Pyre that the HP spell wears off soon, and so his torture strategies will need to be quickly executed. Todd informs them that yes, there is an invasion planned, and yes, a force of roughly 20-30 soldiers is en route to Mount Dew. This is not new news to the group – remember the map from earlier? Todd informs Pyre that more useful information could be obtained from his boss…but alas, that guy is discovered to be dead from the fray earlier. Bavmorda and Ellora exit the room through another ladder.
Bav and Ellora overhear more men talking the room above. Ellora then casts Disguise Self, and adopts the disguise of Stoned Canadian Warrior. Her plan is to gather any new information about the takeover. Her plan is thwarted, however, by Pyre, who has grown tired of the slow conversation and takes matters into her own hands. He shouts, “Hey Bill, the shipment’s here.” Nine unarmed guards scurry down the ladder only to be met by Pyre, Brunhilda, and Bavmorda and their weapons of death. Ellora is a bit disgruntled and casts Daze on Pyre. She impels him to not interfere with her plans again.
After he snaps out of it, the company enters into a Dire Wolverine (insert X-Men claw-appearing sound). Brunhilda and Pyre battle it, Bavmorda fumbles, and Ellora spectates. Another ladder leads to another occupied room, which leads to another onslaught, which leads to another nine dead bodies. Here, Pyre locates a blue key and gold pieces. The group decision here is to move back to the Wolverine Room and rest. The discussion at this time is the awkwardness of the slew of corpses the party has left in its wake. Brunhilda’s clean up plan involves throwing all cadavers out the nearest window. The party lets her have at it.
And thus ends the night.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Search for Frosty: Episode 3
From the golden quill of our sexy sorceress!
Well, this is way overdue, but better late than never, I always say.
This Dungeons and Dragons adventure provided a bit of excitement in the fact that our DM for the evening was Brent, who had not captained the helm since January 2009.
Feel free to peruse back through Yuena’s archives to bring yourself up to speed on this particular campaign…or, read my quick recap here. The roster includes:
Bavmorda: a half-elf rogue
Pyre Fierceshot: half-elf ranger
Ellora: human sorceress
Brunhilda: half-orc barbarian
After some out-of-game congratulations to the Captain on his new job and exclamations of disgust/interest of an online picture of a gal with back piercings, the party settled in.
As you may (or, probably don’t) remember, this party was commissioned to rescue an artifact, a sword names Frosty, by the mayor of Teaville. After a double-cross by a dwarf named Pilch, a scotch-hobbling of said dwarf by Crazy Cletus, and an angry mob chase out of town, the party fled to Kokoa (Pyre’s hometown), taking refuge there. Sharing the recent events with Kokoa’s mayor, it is soon agreed upon that action must be taken. Concern over the erratic mayor’s behavior lately, as well as the recent news from Jonathan, the Kokoa/Teaville liaison, that residents of Teaville have taken up arms and declared war on the small group of adventurers (eliciting a moment of reflective shock from Bavmorda, who had obviously never had war declared on her), make it clear things are moving quickly.
Jonathan also informs the group that Fern, the friendly guide from previous adventures, has been taken hostage to the dreaded Mount Dew. The group feels an obligation to rescue Fern, since it is their fault he has been associated with them.
The mayor is then completely told how to do his job when Pyre recommends a stockpiling of arms, gathering of supplies, and protecting of women and children. The group chuckles for a moment when the mayor says, “I have this rod,” and proceeds to give Ellora a wand that sends up cocoa-flavored, rice-krisped flares.
It seems the general plan now is for the party to rescue Fern, then subdue the village of Teaville. Sounds like a good time, and trips to the general store and church to secure supplies are in order. Ellora and Jonathan take a tumble in the hay at this time as well.
The two-day trip to Mount Dew is interesting to say the least:
1. Owlbear on the road: Brunhilda wastes no time and takes off at a dead sprint. Ellora attempts to do a sexy spell-casting-while-riding-horse series of movements, but fails her Concentration check. Brunhilda takes some serious claw and bite damage, Ellora Scorching Rays the creature, Pyre Rapid Shots it, and Bav finally chalks up the kill. Brunhilda picks up the body and shakes it fiercely…finding a few gold pieces.
2.Brunhilda kind of has a thing for Pyre and tries “hitting” on him.
B: Green is your favorite color. (Whether she’s asking him or telling him is unclear)
P: Yes, it is. Me being a man of nature and all.
3. Group comes upon a weird-looking tree and from it stream a pack of…RACCOONS! After several shouts of “Are you shitting me?”, the fight begins. There is a significant amount of clawing, shooting, magic missiling until the party notices Jabba the Hutt-Raccoon, perhaps the leader, skulking in the background. Ellora casts Web and traps two, Pyre critically misses, and Bav makes a kill. Ellora casts Flaming Sphere on Jabba, who attacks and knocks Ellora off her horse and bites her, but eventually JH is taken down. Bavmorda locates a small hole off to the side of the tree, she squeezes in, locates treasure, throws it out to the rest of the crew, and the loot is divvied up among the others.
4. Ellora gives her Corsair’s eyepatch to Brunhilda, and recommends she put it on (for reasons that make sense only to a Chaotic Neutrally aligned person, no doubt). Out-of-game: Captain Tiki makes a “strap-on” comment at this time and finds himself backpedaling a bit, language-wise, as there are small children in the room.
5. The party travels on up over the hill, where they spot an ogre in the distance. Pyre restrains Brunhilda from running to it, but Ellora spoils it by shouting “Oy, ogre!”. The beast is quickly made into mince-ogre-meat, with Pyre collecting the goods off the dead body.
**Interlude: There is some side boob coppage of Brunhilda by the ranger.**
6. A noise in the distance alerts the party to a giant eagle who appears to be fighting off a group of goblins. After noticing the eagle is protecting a nest, the party storms in to help. Bav sneak attacks and kills one, Pyre picks one off due to Rapid Shot, Ellora freezes one with Ray of Frost, Brunhilda critically hits one, and cleaves it with her mighty greataxe.
7. After the fray has ended, the party slowly backs away from the giant, uber-overprotective mother eagle. To their great surprise, the eagle then says, “Don’t go, friends.” The upshot of this fascinating conversation is the eagle offers the party rides to Mount Dew, but only when her mate returns, the when of that being unclear. The party declines and rides on, soon camping for the night. Pyre is used as Brunhilda’s giant body pillow, and since Bav doesn’t need as much sleep as the rest of the party, she entertains herself by playing pranks on the sleeping couple (placing hands in provocative positions, etc.).
OOG: Some RenFest discussion and strawberry shortcake.
8. Bav continues to be on watch, but the camp is soon in chaos due to an orc attack. Brunhilda takes forever to wake up, but it’s not long before the Scorching Rays, Rapid Shots, greataxes, Shocking Grasps, and short swords have rendered the orcs incapacitated. Brunhilda checks, but finds no gold pieces.
OOG: It’s another round of sexual innuendos as Mrs. Tiki explains why she likes the clicky eraser (“it’s just the tip” and “the shaft is fine”), and these comments elicit a response from the DM about “the ranger pitching a tent”. Bwaaaahahaaaa,
9. Party sees Mount Dew in the distance and they press on. But not long after the sighting, Pyre’s “elf-eyes” spots a wagon train in the distance, and he calls Bavmorda to come check it out as well. Brunhilda and Ellora are like WTF? at being left out, so they join the other two as well. Turns out the party is gazing at a guarded wagon. Yay.
10. An elaborate diversion is planned:
a. Ellora will distract the front two guards by being a damsel in distress. This involves torn clothing and overflowing cleavage. She pretends to be running from the mad half-orc (aka Brunhilda) who the guards just happen to see coming down the hill. They have no idea Brunhilda is coming for them.
b. As the front appears to be under the company’s control, Bavmorda and Pyre will pick off guardsmen from the back. Bav succeeds on her attempts, Pyre fails; there is much swearing.
c. Brunhilda hacks at horse and unseats (and kills) a guard, Ellora Shocking Grasps the two footmen.
d. Four more guards issue from the inside of the wagon.; Ellora misses her touch attack.
e. Bav and Pyre take care of four horsemen, Ellora electrocutes some, Brunhilda cleaves a few, Pyre is in disbelief about the guy who’s still fighting even though he’s got FIVE ARROWS sticking out of him. However, when the smoke clears, eleven guards are dead.
At this point, the company stops for a well-deserved lunch. The gaming session comes to a close for the night as well. Excellent so far!
Well, this is way overdue, but better late than never, I always say.
This Dungeons and Dragons adventure provided a bit of excitement in the fact that our DM for the evening was Brent, who had not captained the helm since January 2009.
Feel free to peruse back through Yuena’s archives to bring yourself up to speed on this particular campaign…or, read my quick recap here. The roster includes:
Bavmorda: a half-elf rogue
Pyre Fierceshot: half-elf ranger
Ellora: human sorceress
Brunhilda: half-orc barbarian
After some out-of-game congratulations to the Captain on his new job and exclamations of disgust/interest of an online picture of a gal with back piercings, the party settled in.
As you may (or, probably don’t) remember, this party was commissioned to rescue an artifact, a sword names Frosty, by the mayor of Teaville. After a double-cross by a dwarf named Pilch, a scotch-hobbling of said dwarf by Crazy Cletus, and an angry mob chase out of town, the party fled to Kokoa (Pyre’s hometown), taking refuge there. Sharing the recent events with Kokoa’s mayor, it is soon agreed upon that action must be taken. Concern over the erratic mayor’s behavior lately, as well as the recent news from Jonathan, the Kokoa/Teaville liaison, that residents of Teaville have taken up arms and declared war on the small group of adventurers (eliciting a moment of reflective shock from Bavmorda, who had obviously never had war declared on her), make it clear things are moving quickly.
Jonathan also informs the group that Fern, the friendly guide from previous adventures, has been taken hostage to the dreaded Mount Dew. The group feels an obligation to rescue Fern, since it is their fault he has been associated with them.
The mayor is then completely told how to do his job when Pyre recommends a stockpiling of arms, gathering of supplies, and protecting of women and children. The group chuckles for a moment when the mayor says, “I have this rod,” and proceeds to give Ellora a wand that sends up cocoa-flavored, rice-krisped flares.
It seems the general plan now is for the party to rescue Fern, then subdue the village of Teaville. Sounds like a good time, and trips to the general store and church to secure supplies are in order. Ellora and Jonathan take a tumble in the hay at this time as well.
The two-day trip to Mount Dew is interesting to say the least:
1. Owlbear on the road: Brunhilda wastes no time and takes off at a dead sprint. Ellora attempts to do a sexy spell-casting-while-riding-horse series of movements, but fails her Concentration check. Brunhilda takes some serious claw and bite damage, Ellora Scorching Rays the creature, Pyre Rapid Shots it, and Bav finally chalks up the kill. Brunhilda picks up the body and shakes it fiercely…finding a few gold pieces.
2.Brunhilda kind of has a thing for Pyre and tries “hitting” on him.
B: Green is your favorite color. (Whether she’s asking him or telling him is unclear)
P: Yes, it is. Me being a man of nature and all.
3. Group comes upon a weird-looking tree and from it stream a pack of…RACCOONS! After several shouts of “Are you shitting me?”, the fight begins. There is a significant amount of clawing, shooting, magic missiling until the party notices Jabba the Hutt-Raccoon, perhaps the leader, skulking in the background. Ellora casts Web and traps two, Pyre critically misses, and Bav makes a kill. Ellora casts Flaming Sphere on Jabba, who attacks and knocks Ellora off her horse and bites her, but eventually JH is taken down. Bavmorda locates a small hole off to the side of the tree, she squeezes in, locates treasure, throws it out to the rest of the crew, and the loot is divvied up among the others.
4. Ellora gives her Corsair’s eyepatch to Brunhilda, and recommends she put it on (for reasons that make sense only to a Chaotic Neutrally aligned person, no doubt). Out-of-game: Captain Tiki makes a “strap-on” comment at this time and finds himself backpedaling a bit, language-wise, as there are small children in the room.
5. The party travels on up over the hill, where they spot an ogre in the distance. Pyre restrains Brunhilda from running to it, but Ellora spoils it by shouting “Oy, ogre!”. The beast is quickly made into mince-ogre-meat, with Pyre collecting the goods off the dead body.
**Interlude: There is some side boob coppage of Brunhilda by the ranger.**
6. A noise in the distance alerts the party to a giant eagle who appears to be fighting off a group of goblins. After noticing the eagle is protecting a nest, the party storms in to help. Bav sneak attacks and kills one, Pyre picks one off due to Rapid Shot, Ellora freezes one with Ray of Frost, Brunhilda critically hits one, and cleaves it with her mighty greataxe.
7. After the fray has ended, the party slowly backs away from the giant, uber-overprotective mother eagle. To their great surprise, the eagle then says, “Don’t go, friends.” The upshot of this fascinating conversation is the eagle offers the party rides to Mount Dew, but only when her mate returns, the when of that being unclear. The party declines and rides on, soon camping for the night. Pyre is used as Brunhilda’s giant body pillow, and since Bav doesn’t need as much sleep as the rest of the party, she entertains herself by playing pranks on the sleeping couple (placing hands in provocative positions, etc.).
OOG: Some RenFest discussion and strawberry shortcake.
8. Bav continues to be on watch, but the camp is soon in chaos due to an orc attack. Brunhilda takes forever to wake up, but it’s not long before the Scorching Rays, Rapid Shots, greataxes, Shocking Grasps, and short swords have rendered the orcs incapacitated. Brunhilda checks, but finds no gold pieces.
OOG: It’s another round of sexual innuendos as Mrs. Tiki explains why she likes the clicky eraser (“it’s just the tip” and “the shaft is fine”), and these comments elicit a response from the DM about “the ranger pitching a tent”. Bwaaaahahaaaa,
9. Party sees Mount Dew in the distance and they press on. But not long after the sighting, Pyre’s “elf-eyes” spots a wagon train in the distance, and he calls Bavmorda to come check it out as well. Brunhilda and Ellora are like WTF? at being left out, so they join the other two as well. Turns out the party is gazing at a guarded wagon. Yay.
10. An elaborate diversion is planned:
a. Ellora will distract the front two guards by being a damsel in distress. This involves torn clothing and overflowing cleavage. She pretends to be running from the mad half-orc (aka Brunhilda) who the guards just happen to see coming down the hill. They have no idea Brunhilda is coming for them.
b. As the front appears to be under the company’s control, Bavmorda and Pyre will pick off guardsmen from the back. Bav succeeds on her attempts, Pyre fails; there is much swearing.
c. Brunhilda hacks at horse and unseats (and kills) a guard, Ellora Shocking Grasps the two footmen.
d. Four more guards issue from the inside of the wagon.; Ellora misses her touch attack.
e. Bav and Pyre take care of four horsemen, Ellora electrocutes some, Brunhilda cleaves a few, Pyre is in disbelief about the guy who’s still fighting even though he’s got FIVE ARROWS sticking out of him. However, when the smoke clears, eleven guards are dead.
At this point, the company stops for a well-deserved lunch. The gaming session comes to a close for the night as well. Excellent so far!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
August High Seas adventure
Alas! The mighty mission at the keyboard is approaching its end. There were three DnD adventures I needed to recall and recap, and I am now finally on the third. This was just last night's adventure, and so should be fresh in my mind.
Hopefully, a worthy tale for my listeners. Ummm...readers.
This is Captain Tiki's adventure, the one at sea and the party is as follows:
Andromeda - a sexually expressive Deepwoods Sniping Druid
Mercutio - the much-abused Dragon Disciple/Sorcerer (aka Powder Monkey, Cock Blocker, Wizard etc.)
Captain Bella - the party's resident Rogue/Honorable Dread Pirate, and Captain of the vessel, the Nightshade
Willow - a brooding orc-, merfolk-, and certain human-hating Ranger/Bloodhound
This party left off in the port of Gradsul, where a day's repair awaited the Nightshade.
Bella and Willow: off to the nearest tavern
Andromeda: off to the forest with Teowynn and their cats
Mercutio: hang around the ship, but sends Fizz out to spread his seed
At the local Seaside Bar, Willow purchased a mead and broods. Bella buys a round for everyone in the bar (except for Willow, who obviously spoke too soon). A rousing chorus of "Are you shitting me?" goes up around the room.
Bella and Willow hatch a Bar Rumble plan, in which the two local bars (one of sailors, the other of farmers) will fight each other Jets vs. Sharks-style. Bella then meanders to the other bar to buy drinks for those guys, and begin to spread her own seed...of discontent.
Fizz has returned, meanwhile, to Mercutio, looking much, much happier and calmer. Speaking of calm, Andromeda is not when she discovers that although she wished to be ordering from the LUNCH menu, the restaurant where she and Teowynn sit is nearing the very end of its lunch rush. In fact, they've hit the early dinner senior citizen crowd.
Bella buys the farmers' bar patrons a drink, and general cry of "Farmers Are Good People" is heard 'round the tavern. It is OOG considered that this would be an excellent t-shirt slogan.
Mercutio meets Andromeda coming back to the ship with her druid friend, and Lawful Neutral Mercutio feels the need to lay down the Non-Wenching Rules of the Ship (which really only apply to him, but whatever). There is much confusion and questioning by Andromeda, and it seems Mercutio is attempting to pull rank - thus setting off a spell battle between the two players.
Andromeda morphes into giant octopus form. Mercutio responds by casting Fly on himself, and then Invisibility. Andromeda casts Standing Wave, which carries her around, following the sound of Merc's voice as he taunts her. In the final blow, Mercutio casts Dancing Lights...and since Andromeda cannot obviously compete with that, she is done. In what can only be perceived as a "victory dance", Mercutio humps the Captain's wheel. It is assumed by Andromeda that the wheel is now tainted, because she can see the movement of the wheel and in what manner it is moving, but she cannot see Mercutio, whom she assumed has his clothes off (which he doesn't).
Back at the Seaside Bar, a half-orc enters. Willow stares, glares, and broods some more. It is not her nature to start something, but she will finish it, given the chance. At this time, Bella bops in, buys yet another round, and yells, "Sailors Are Good People!". By the way, Andromeda has arrived.
And, then, of all things, Fizz the owl flies in the tavern, clutching a waterskin and a note for the bartender...who, by the way, doesn't know how to read. So Willow "translates" for the barkeep and tells him the note roughly says, "I'm from the Farmer Bar, I want a cheap beer, but I don't want to soil my shoes by stepping in that place. Please, fill this waterskin, and send it back with the owl." The bartender is angry, and begins to spread discontent around the bar, while Andromeda buys a beer and leaves the inn. Pretty soon, some of the Seaside bar patrons appear to be riled, so Willow and Bella exit through the front door, hoping to lead them to the Farmer Bar (well, not really lead, but appear to lead, then follow sneakily). About fifteen patrons end up in front of the Farmer Bar, unsure of what to do next when Bella from the back of the crowd chucks a rock through the window, and Willow screams "Farmers Suck!" Despite these great efforts, the attempt at a bar brawl fizzles. Willow and Bella return to the ship to analyze bar failure/mob mentality strategies.
Willow miserably fails a Bluff check as she tells Mercutio the bartender bitch-slapped Fizz around when he flew in with the waterskin.
An uneventful night passes, and the party leaves the next morning. Up head - the Gryrax peninsula.
The Events of the Day:
1. Attack by three giant squid, who reach with ten tentacles onto the ship. Squid #1: Willow critically fumbles, only gets in two of her six weapon attacks. Andromeda critically hits and Squid #1 peels off side of ship. Squid #2 and #3 pull up their ugly faces over the ship. Their tentacle slaps do A LOT of damage to Mercutio, Willow, and Bella. Squid #2 succeeds on a grapple with Willow and does another ten biting damage. Eventually, the party, with the help of Willow's wolverine (Logan) and Andromeda's lion (Aslan), squid #2 is calamari. Squid #3 does a fair amount of smackage, but through a tremendous whole=group effort, that sucker dies too.
2. OOG: Dinner Break. Cold cut sandwiches, fruit, chips. Also, a raging debate: should the Tikis buy a kneeboard for the upcoming camping trip? Or maybe a new tube? Everyone had opinions on this one.
3. Back in the game, Fizz spots four sea turtle-looking things...official name: TOJANIDA. Spanish or something. Mercutio casts an off-ship ice storm, which sends a pretty serious message to the ToJos. The fighting begins, and Mercutio is blinding by stinging stream of Tostada ink. Fizz casts Bull Strength on Willow, which beefs up the ranger's damage. Bella and Willow make a kill each, meanwhile a lightning bolt spell cast by Mercutio sends sizzling meat chunks all over the ship. Searches of the whole carcasses, as well as the meat chunks, turn up a fair amount of platinum pieces for the entire party.
4. The party reaches Blue, Andromeda disembarks to say goodbye to Teowynn, but everyone else stays on board. The almighty leveling beam touches each party member. Whoohoo!
5. The last leg of the sea journey is nearing to an end, as the Nightshade comes into Relmor Bay. A squad of Triton makes an attack, but the party proves to be ready, picking off the aquatic humanoids one by one. Kills: Mercutio - Two, Willow - Two, Bella - One, Andromeda - Three.
6. Thorgrin the dwarf meets the fleet at the docks of Prymp. He is obviously delighted to have the entire fleet of ships return, whole, full of good iron. After many attempts of the party to use "Jedi Mind Tricks", Thorgrin grants each person "One Magical Upgrade on Weapon". Mercutio steps in here and asks for a free taco...Thorgrin is feeling generous, obviously, and grants "Free Tacos to All!"
7. Andromeda makes a comment about "never having a dwarf before". Thorgrin looks her over and declares "I'd do you." Andromeda ends up passing the dwarf over, as she says she'd appreciate someone with a little more enthusiasm.
And that's it!
Hopefully, a worthy tale for my listeners. Ummm...readers.
This is Captain Tiki's adventure, the one at sea and the party is as follows:
Andromeda - a sexually expressive Deepwoods Sniping Druid
Mercutio - the much-abused Dragon Disciple/Sorcerer (aka Powder Monkey, Cock Blocker, Wizard etc.)
Captain Bella - the party's resident Rogue/Honorable Dread Pirate, and Captain of the vessel, the Nightshade
Willow - a brooding orc-, merfolk-, and certain human-hating Ranger/Bloodhound
This party left off in the port of Gradsul, where a day's repair awaited the Nightshade.
Bella and Willow: off to the nearest tavern
Andromeda: off to the forest with Teowynn and their cats
Mercutio: hang around the ship, but sends Fizz out to spread his seed
At the local Seaside Bar, Willow purchased a mead and broods. Bella buys a round for everyone in the bar (except for Willow, who obviously spoke too soon). A rousing chorus of "Are you shitting me?" goes up around the room.
Bella and Willow hatch a Bar Rumble plan, in which the two local bars (one of sailors, the other of farmers) will fight each other Jets vs. Sharks-style. Bella then meanders to the other bar to buy drinks for those guys, and begin to spread her own seed...of discontent.
Fizz has returned, meanwhile, to Mercutio, looking much, much happier and calmer. Speaking of calm, Andromeda is not when she discovers that although she wished to be ordering from the LUNCH menu, the restaurant where she and Teowynn sit is nearing the very end of its lunch rush. In fact, they've hit the early dinner senior citizen crowd.
Bella buys the farmers' bar patrons a drink, and general cry of "Farmers Are Good People" is heard 'round the tavern. It is OOG considered that this would be an excellent t-shirt slogan.
Mercutio meets Andromeda coming back to the ship with her druid friend, and Lawful Neutral Mercutio feels the need to lay down the Non-Wenching Rules of the Ship (which really only apply to him, but whatever). There is much confusion and questioning by Andromeda, and it seems Mercutio is attempting to pull rank - thus setting off a spell battle between the two players.
Andromeda morphes into giant octopus form. Mercutio responds by casting Fly on himself, and then Invisibility. Andromeda casts Standing Wave, which carries her around, following the sound of Merc's voice as he taunts her. In the final blow, Mercutio casts Dancing Lights...and since Andromeda cannot obviously compete with that, she is done. In what can only be perceived as a "victory dance", Mercutio humps the Captain's wheel. It is assumed by Andromeda that the wheel is now tainted, because she can see the movement of the wheel and in what manner it is moving, but she cannot see Mercutio, whom she assumed has his clothes off (which he doesn't).
Back at the Seaside Bar, a half-orc enters. Willow stares, glares, and broods some more. It is not her nature to start something, but she will finish it, given the chance. At this time, Bella bops in, buys yet another round, and yells, "Sailors Are Good People!". By the way, Andromeda has arrived.
And, then, of all things, Fizz the owl flies in the tavern, clutching a waterskin and a note for the bartender...who, by the way, doesn't know how to read. So Willow "translates" for the barkeep and tells him the note roughly says, "I'm from the Farmer Bar, I want a cheap beer, but I don't want to soil my shoes by stepping in that place. Please, fill this waterskin, and send it back with the owl." The bartender is angry, and begins to spread discontent around the bar, while Andromeda buys a beer and leaves the inn. Pretty soon, some of the Seaside bar patrons appear to be riled, so Willow and Bella exit through the front door, hoping to lead them to the Farmer Bar (well, not really lead, but appear to lead, then follow sneakily). About fifteen patrons end up in front of the Farmer Bar, unsure of what to do next when Bella from the back of the crowd chucks a rock through the window, and Willow screams "Farmers Suck!" Despite these great efforts, the attempt at a bar brawl fizzles. Willow and Bella return to the ship to analyze bar failure/mob mentality strategies.
Willow miserably fails a Bluff check as she tells Mercutio the bartender bitch-slapped Fizz around when he flew in with the waterskin.
An uneventful night passes, and the party leaves the next morning. Up head - the Gryrax peninsula.
The Events of the Day:
1. Attack by three giant squid, who reach with ten tentacles onto the ship. Squid #1: Willow critically fumbles, only gets in two of her six weapon attacks. Andromeda critically hits and Squid #1 peels off side of ship. Squid #2 and #3 pull up their ugly faces over the ship. Their tentacle slaps do A LOT of damage to Mercutio, Willow, and Bella. Squid #2 succeeds on a grapple with Willow and does another ten biting damage. Eventually, the party, with the help of Willow's wolverine (Logan) and Andromeda's lion (Aslan), squid #2 is calamari. Squid #3 does a fair amount of smackage, but through a tremendous whole=group effort, that sucker dies too.
2. OOG: Dinner Break. Cold cut sandwiches, fruit, chips. Also, a raging debate: should the Tikis buy a kneeboard for the upcoming camping trip? Or maybe a new tube? Everyone had opinions on this one.
3. Back in the game, Fizz spots four sea turtle-looking things...official name: TOJANIDA. Spanish or something. Mercutio casts an off-ship ice storm, which sends a pretty serious message to the ToJos. The fighting begins, and Mercutio is blinding by stinging stream of Tostada ink. Fizz casts Bull Strength on Willow, which beefs up the ranger's damage. Bella and Willow make a kill each, meanwhile a lightning bolt spell cast by Mercutio sends sizzling meat chunks all over the ship. Searches of the whole carcasses, as well as the meat chunks, turn up a fair amount of platinum pieces for the entire party.
4. The party reaches Blue, Andromeda disembarks to say goodbye to Teowynn, but everyone else stays on board. The almighty leveling beam touches each party member. Whoohoo!
5. The last leg of the sea journey is nearing to an end, as the Nightshade comes into Relmor Bay. A squad of Triton makes an attack, but the party proves to be ready, picking off the aquatic humanoids one by one. Kills: Mercutio - Two, Willow - Two, Bella - One, Andromeda - Three.
6. Thorgrin the dwarf meets the fleet at the docks of Prymp. He is obviously delighted to have the entire fleet of ships return, whole, full of good iron. After many attempts of the party to use "Jedi Mind Tricks", Thorgrin grants each person "One Magical Upgrade on Weapon". Mercutio steps in here and asks for a free taco...Thorgrin is feeling generous, obviously, and grants "Free Tacos to All!"
7. Andromeda makes a comment about "never having a dwarf before". Thorgrin looks her over and declares "I'd do you." Andromeda ends up passing the dwarf over, as she says she'd appreciate someone with a little more enthusiasm.
And that's it!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Kimba's Mass Adventure Take 1
Combo effort:
This was going to be an interesting time in a couple of different ways: first, we were supposed to be playing this game while camping, which ended up not happening due to weather. Second, the Captain's niece and nephew (Kristin and Matthew) were joining us for the quest. Finally, it was the debut adventure for new DM Kimba.
Seen previously in Alex's campaign:
Olivet, the renowned bard
Firn, the butt kicking monk
Balen Thunderaxe, the cleaving dwarf
Kat the Sorceress, with her familiar Luna
Newcomers:
Bobby the half orc Barbarian played by Matthew
Elly Bell the adorable gnome illusionist played by Kristin
The previous four had recently suffered a loss to their party. They said a quick goodbye to Silver Fang the barbarian and Greenie the rogue, and began looking for replacements.
They found a half-orc with a gnome on its shoulders that would probably fit the bill.
In the town of Cellular, this newly-formed party discovered that the children of the town have gone missing. Actually, this information is gathered by everyone but the underage half-orc, who has consumed six pints of ale.
After leaving the tavern to consult with the mayor, Bobby randomly punches a house window, then attempts to loot an empty house. Elly Belle the Gnome casts Dancing Lights, which distracts Bobby. Olivet the Bard breaks out into a rendition of "Thriller" in a tribute to Michael Jackson.
The mayor regales the company with tales of the missing children, clues, etc. Fourteen children are missing, and there are rumors of witches and dragons. The adventurers quickly take up the task of finding out where they have gone.
Bobby and Balen declare their "bromance", which is a platonic frienship between two men...in this case, two men who loves axes.
Highlights of the night include:
1. Dire squirrels attack! Balen takes out like five at one time, Firn punches one out of the tree (a la pinata), and a couple of magic missiles and double-axes later - squirrel carcasses litter the ground.
2. The ground becomes squishy, and after a Will save, Elly Bell the Gnome and Bobby the Barbarian become terrified, Olivet fumbles his roll and craps his pants out of fear. Turns out the party is now doing battle with a crocodile and a hag (ugly). Balen fumbles and drops his axe, Kat flings magic missiles, Firn uses Stunning Fists, and Balen ends the battle by whaling on both croc and hag. Bobby apologizes for doing nothing during the fracas. Olivet cuts open the croc and discovers a pouch and a ring.
3. The party travels on and spies a white, encircled structure. Bobby rushes into the building, the party follows, the half-orc keeps running into....a murder of crows! There is much punching, axing, crossbowing, and fireballing that follows. A weird guy shows up in the middle of the fight...no reason why, but he's not around long. Soon, all crows are dead.
4. The hallways are confusing, doorways here and there, corridors that wind along - it is one freaky maze. Elly does some wall climbing (spider climb), and notices some skeletons piled in one corner of a room that the party cannot see into yet.
5. Skeleton Party! Elly the Gnome chooses to investigate the pile of bones, while the rest of the party seems bent on Skeleton Annihilation. Kat the Sorceress fireballs four in one go. In general, there is a bunch of hacking and slashing, while the Bard inspires courage in the party. The battle ends, the skeletons die (again), and Kat finds a ring in the midst of the bone piles.
There were two children not quite dead found in that room also. Time to rest.
Thus ends another good night of gaming. Well done, Kimba, Kristin, and Matthew.
Happy One Year Anniversary to the Gamers!
This was going to be an interesting time in a couple of different ways: first, we were supposed to be playing this game while camping, which ended up not happening due to weather. Second, the Captain's niece and nephew (Kristin and Matthew) were joining us for the quest. Finally, it was the debut adventure for new DM Kimba.
Seen previously in Alex's campaign:
Olivet, the renowned bard
Firn, the butt kicking monk
Balen Thunderaxe, the cleaving dwarf
Kat the Sorceress, with her familiar Luna
Newcomers:
Bobby the half orc Barbarian played by Matthew
Elly Bell the adorable gnome illusionist played by Kristin
The previous four had recently suffered a loss to their party. They said a quick goodbye to Silver Fang the barbarian and Greenie the rogue, and began looking for replacements.
They found a half-orc with a gnome on its shoulders that would probably fit the bill.
In the town of Cellular, this newly-formed party discovered that the children of the town have gone missing. Actually, this information is gathered by everyone but the underage half-orc, who has consumed six pints of ale.
After leaving the tavern to consult with the mayor, Bobby randomly punches a house window, then attempts to loot an empty house. Elly Belle the Gnome casts Dancing Lights, which distracts Bobby. Olivet the Bard breaks out into a rendition of "Thriller" in a tribute to Michael Jackson.
The mayor regales the company with tales of the missing children, clues, etc. Fourteen children are missing, and there are rumors of witches and dragons. The adventurers quickly take up the task of finding out where they have gone.
Bobby and Balen declare their "bromance", which is a platonic frienship between two men...in this case, two men who loves axes.
Highlights of the night include:
1. Dire squirrels attack! Balen takes out like five at one time, Firn punches one out of the tree (a la pinata), and a couple of magic missiles and double-axes later - squirrel carcasses litter the ground.
2. The ground becomes squishy, and after a Will save, Elly Bell the Gnome and Bobby the Barbarian become terrified, Olivet fumbles his roll and craps his pants out of fear. Turns out the party is now doing battle with a crocodile and a hag (ugly). Balen fumbles and drops his axe, Kat flings magic missiles, Firn uses Stunning Fists, and Balen ends the battle by whaling on both croc and hag. Bobby apologizes for doing nothing during the fracas. Olivet cuts open the croc and discovers a pouch and a ring.
3. The party travels on and spies a white, encircled structure. Bobby rushes into the building, the party follows, the half-orc keeps running into....a murder of crows! There is much punching, axing, crossbowing, and fireballing that follows. A weird guy shows up in the middle of the fight...no reason why, but he's not around long. Soon, all crows are dead.
4. The hallways are confusing, doorways here and there, corridors that wind along - it is one freaky maze. Elly does some wall climbing (spider climb), and notices some skeletons piled in one corner of a room that the party cannot see into yet.
5. Skeleton Party! Elly the Gnome chooses to investigate the pile of bones, while the rest of the party seems bent on Skeleton Annihilation. Kat the Sorceress fireballs four in one go. In general, there is a bunch of hacking and slashing, while the Bard inspires courage in the party. The battle ends, the skeletons die (again), and Kat finds a ring in the midst of the bone piles.
There were two children not quite dead found in that room also. Time to rest.
Thus ends another good night of gaming. Well done, Kimba, Kristin, and Matthew.
Happy One Year Anniversary to the Gamers!
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