Stairway to Nerdvana courtesy of HN (the cleric)
Soooo...the King reads the scroll to transport us, and we, all of a sudden, are whisked to a floating mansion/island/freaky place. There is no way to return, and it dawns on us that we did not shop for any provisions. Huh.
We enter the mansion into a large room. A deep voice greets us with the question, "What alignment are you?"
Everyone but the cleric responds with some form of chaotic neutral, and the voice warns those party members "he will keep an eye on them." The cleric responds with "Neutral Good" and the voice welcomes the cleric. Turns out the dismembered voice belongs to a lammasu, a lion-man creature who is very good and very capable of ripping people's throats out. He informs the cleric to come back anytime for healing (YES!).
Because I'm getting tired already and this could end up long, here's the short version.
1. A room bedecked in the style of a Pepto-Bismol nursing hoom room reveals a nice little old granny, asleep in bed. That is, until the cleric clanks noisily across the room due to a failed Move Silently check. Then Granny morphs into a nasty Worg. The overgrown dog is easily dispatched.
2. Somebody (the fighter maybe) rubs a suspicious-looking lamp, releasing an efreeti. The monk punches it in the face, after which the creature lays a flaming smackdown on the barbarian. Despite this, the party drives the genie back to his lamp. Someone let the barbarian too close to the lamp, though, because he rubs it again for some asinine reason, rereleases the efreeti, who then basically gives us the finger and returns to his lamp. He does bequeath some sweet new weapons to us...you know, as a gesture of wussiness because we just kicked his arse.
3. A nearly bare room reveals a long golden goose and a couple of doors. The gnome fails a Will save and JUST HAS TO TOUCH THE GOOSE. Boof (the barb) picks her up, physically restraining her, and while he is preoccupied doing that, the fighter cannot resist and actually grabs the bird. The bird comes to life and begins to fly about the room, incidentally, with the fighter attached to it. The barbarian uses his flying boots to soar upwards in a rescue attempt and becomes stuck to the bird as well. As if this isn't enough, Boof also tries to headbutt the bird, affixing his forehead too. The cleric casts Dispel Magic, which breaks the spell. The fighter takes falling damage. Moral: Don't touch weird, out of place birds. Who knew?
4. There are several renditions of songs with the word 'cry' in them. The monk's name is Qui, which rhymes with 'cry' and so the fighter and cleric have a little fun with song substitutions.
5. Another room reveals three trolls, who proceed to whomp on the party. The cleric juggles trying to keep herself healed as well as the others. At one point in the action, the fighter suddenly sprints out of the room. No reason, no explanation. While she's gone, the barbarian rages and takes out a troll. The other two are quickly annihilated. Rana (the fighter), at that moment, bursts back into the room, looking grossly disappointed. Turned out she'd had a brainstorm...grab the efreeti lamp, rub it quick, and set it on the trolls. Brilliant, but a little too late.
6. The party then visits a room that appears to have a carnival-esque atmosphere. There is a pond with several cute ducklings swimming to and fro. The fighter is instantly enamoured, and the rest of us scratch our heads at this new idiosyncrasy of the elf - a fierce love of ducks? The cleric and monk attempt to get a game of duck baseball rolling, which is instantly quashed when the fighter pulls a weapon out on Qui (the monk). Somebody (can't remember who) grabs one ugly little fluffball, only to find a key tied to its little leg. "Hey - there was a locked door a ways back and this might be the key that opens it" is the epiphany of the hour. And off we go...
7. Locked door opens onto a hill giant. Sweet. At one point in the battle, all players (including the giant) except the gnome roll a 1 (critical miss) and fall down onto the ground. The cleric takes the opportunity to totally whale on the giant's prone form. It's hard-fought battle, and the players take significant damage before beating the giant down. It is suggested to return to the lammasu room for healing and rest, as well as a good stopping place for the adventure. Concurrences all around.
The fighter refuses to sleep in the lion-man room. Claims it creeps her out, so she opts to stay in the pink doily lace room where, I might add here, a seemingly nice, innocent grandma turned into a vicious bloodthirsting wolf (whose corpse is still present, btw).
Yeah, not paradoxical and weird at all.
Oh yeah, a winding staircase discovered at some point late in the adventure leads to the monk and cleric to croon refrains of Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven". They could hardly let it pass, for Pete's sake.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Finding Princess Florissa #1
- Courtesy of HN
Ahhh, am just coming down off another night of an excellent Dungeons and Dragons adventure.
Mrs. Jones engineered this evening's adventure...she has not been the boss since before the holidays (cf. post of December 14, 2008).
Before I launch into tonight's quest, let me first regale you with the menu:
Cheeseburger Chowder
Bread
Two kinds of deer sausage
Cheese & crackers
Crudites and dip
Jalapeno jelly and cream cheese
Chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, and banana muffins
Yeah. Good stuff.
So, this adventure began where the other left off. We'd been kicked out of the town of Kenby, because Qui (the monk) had pissed everyone in town off, accusing the sheriff of "selling people for food."
We safely made it to the outskirts and camped for the night, all the while remonstrating Qui for opening his mouth, and forbidding him ever to do it again, especially as the mouthpiece for our group.
After that, the journey began south. To a bunch of kingdoms. Which awaited our skills, no doubt.
The first kingdom we came to was walled and appeared to be very wealthy. However, the guards at the gate were rather lax and indifferent and only showed the slightest interest when Qui asked them if it would be OK if we came back later and kicked their ass (so much for Ixnay on the OuthpieceMay).
For ten o'clock in the morning, the town of Asatira seemed rather quiet. Almost too quiet. We entered the Poisoned Apple Tavern...as everyone in the medieval world knows, the life and soul of a village dwells within its tavern.
Everyone in the bar seemed depressed. Turns out the princess of this kingdom had disappeared, and a royal decree had been issued, asking for any and all smart, brave, and old persons to report to the castle at once. Immediately, we perceived this as our chance. Well, entrance to the castle was much the lackadaisical affair as entering the kingdom. Very suspicious to the cleric at the time, but, as there were other fish to fry, it was no time to consider this in depth.
Off to the castle to prove our mettle. We were divided up to take tests...the gnome fails to answer a supremely easy question, the monk and barbarian drink something that is NOT poison, and the fighter fails to impress the judge with her childhood story. So, two of us are "in" and two of us are "out". Well, we don't work like that, and after some pleading and cajoling with the judges, they let us all go together to see the king (supposedly very depressed since the disappearance of his daughter).
As is expected, the king needs our help and proceeds to tell us what he knows. His castle fell victim to a recent bandit attack, which was thwarted by the Royal Advisor, Mordred (keep your eye on this guy...his name alone creeps me out). After this attack, the king finds a scroll that enables protection of any of the royal children. Imagine how convenient that information was a couple of days later, when the bandits attack again. The king rushes his daughter, Florissa, to the library, activates the scroll, and POOF! never sees her again. Somewhere here in this interchange, Mordred appears and pulls the king off to a private conversation...much to the indignation of us party members with whom he was speaking first. Naturally, we all do Listen checks, which we pass superbly, with the exception of Boof the Suddenly Deaf Barbarian. Turns out Mordred is against us going to look for whats-her-face (suspicion increases). King tells Mordy off, and he leaves (Mordred, that is, not the King).
We are then escorted to the library, where we have free rein to poke around. The cleric casts Detect Magic, locating an entire magical book/scroll section, and a faint ring of magic in the far corner of the room. Putting two and two together, the group surmises this is the magical portal through which Princess Florissa disappeared. Boof cannot read at all, and contents himself with looking at the pretty pictures in books he randomly pulls off the shelves. He becomes particularly attached to a book with a lovely woman on the cover, and before long, has secreted himself in a corner, doing who knows what. Suspicions soon arise that Boof is pleasuring himself, using the book cover as inspiration. Ew.
A search turns up another scroll that appears to contain the instructions of locating any missing royal children (how lucky for us). The scroll speaks of the Worthy One, the one who frees the princess, thus earning the right to marry her. This appears to be the key we're looking for. Problem is, even the cleric doesn't know enough magic to activate the scroll. Enter the scribe who had been sent to fetch drinks for us. Because of a SERIOUS lapse in judgment, the monk proceeds to freak the scribe out with tales of a sheriff in a neighboring city who SELLS PEOPLE FOR FOOD. Much monk chastising ensues.
The fighter escorts the way traumatized scribe to the king, who comes to the library at once to activate the scroll and send us off on our quest.
Part Two to come later...
Ahhh, am just coming down off another night of an excellent Dungeons and Dragons adventure.
Mrs. Jones engineered this evening's adventure...she has not been the boss since before the holidays (cf. post of December 14, 2008).
Before I launch into tonight's quest, let me first regale you with the menu:
Cheeseburger Chowder
Bread
Two kinds of deer sausage
Cheese & crackers
Crudites and dip
Jalapeno jelly and cream cheese
Chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, and banana muffins
Yeah. Good stuff.
So, this adventure began where the other left off. We'd been kicked out of the town of Kenby, because Qui (the monk) had pissed everyone in town off, accusing the sheriff of "selling people for food."
We safely made it to the outskirts and camped for the night, all the while remonstrating Qui for opening his mouth, and forbidding him ever to do it again, especially as the mouthpiece for our group.
After that, the journey began south. To a bunch of kingdoms. Which awaited our skills, no doubt.
The first kingdom we came to was walled and appeared to be very wealthy. However, the guards at the gate were rather lax and indifferent and only showed the slightest interest when Qui asked them if it would be OK if we came back later and kicked their ass (so much for Ixnay on the OuthpieceMay).
For ten o'clock in the morning, the town of Asatira seemed rather quiet. Almost too quiet. We entered the Poisoned Apple Tavern...as everyone in the medieval world knows, the life and soul of a village dwells within its tavern.
Everyone in the bar seemed depressed. Turns out the princess of this kingdom had disappeared, and a royal decree had been issued, asking for any and all smart, brave, and old persons to report to the castle at once. Immediately, we perceived this as our chance. Well, entrance to the castle was much the lackadaisical affair as entering the kingdom. Very suspicious to the cleric at the time, but, as there were other fish to fry, it was no time to consider this in depth.
Off to the castle to prove our mettle. We were divided up to take tests...the gnome fails to answer a supremely easy question, the monk and barbarian drink something that is NOT poison, and the fighter fails to impress the judge with her childhood story. So, two of us are "in" and two of us are "out". Well, we don't work like that, and after some pleading and cajoling with the judges, they let us all go together to see the king (supposedly very depressed since the disappearance of his daughter).
As is expected, the king needs our help and proceeds to tell us what he knows. His castle fell victim to a recent bandit attack, which was thwarted by the Royal Advisor, Mordred (keep your eye on this guy...his name alone creeps me out). After this attack, the king finds a scroll that enables protection of any of the royal children. Imagine how convenient that information was a couple of days later, when the bandits attack again. The king rushes his daughter, Florissa, to the library, activates the scroll, and POOF! never sees her again. Somewhere here in this interchange, Mordred appears and pulls the king off to a private conversation...much to the indignation of us party members with whom he was speaking first. Naturally, we all do Listen checks, which we pass superbly, with the exception of Boof the Suddenly Deaf Barbarian. Turns out Mordred is against us going to look for whats-her-face (suspicion increases). King tells Mordy off, and he leaves (Mordred, that is, not the King).
We are then escorted to the library, where we have free rein to poke around. The cleric casts Detect Magic, locating an entire magical book/scroll section, and a faint ring of magic in the far corner of the room. Putting two and two together, the group surmises this is the magical portal through which Princess Florissa disappeared. Boof cannot read at all, and contents himself with looking at the pretty pictures in books he randomly pulls off the shelves. He becomes particularly attached to a book with a lovely woman on the cover, and before long, has secreted himself in a corner, doing who knows what. Suspicions soon arise that Boof is pleasuring himself, using the book cover as inspiration. Ew.
A search turns up another scroll that appears to contain the instructions of locating any missing royal children (how lucky for us). The scroll speaks of the Worthy One, the one who frees the princess, thus earning the right to marry her. This appears to be the key we're looking for. Problem is, even the cleric doesn't know enough magic to activate the scroll. Enter the scribe who had been sent to fetch drinks for us. Because of a SERIOUS lapse in judgment, the monk proceeds to freak the scribe out with tales of a sheriff in a neighboring city who SELLS PEOPLE FOR FOOD. Much monk chastising ensues.
The fighter escorts the way traumatized scribe to the king, who comes to the library at once to activate the scroll and send us off on our quest.
Part Two to come later...
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Nathar's Dungeon #3
It was time once again for the Nathar's Dungeon campaign. We had a slight change in the line up. The Cleric is now gone, and Pearl the gnome has morphed into a wizard. So our line up is now:
Pearl the wizard gnome with Prickles the hedgehog
Onyx the Rogue (&Pearls twin)
Roc the Paladin
Wolfgang the Druid with his trusty wolf Ruger
Our adventurer's started off in the same dungeon, where against all odds we managed to save the town. This is after the rogue kicked the paladin through a white substance while he was attempting to pray for guidance. The group had to tell the townspeople about the few who were not saved, and the Paladin gave a, let's say, interesting Eulogy since the priest was missing.
At this point the paladin became primarily focused on obtaining a white warhorse to use as his mount, and little else seemed to matter. The party journeyed back to see Rock's sister and the clergy in the next town over, now realizing that Father M is their primary mission. After discovering that there was no mount to be had, they made their way back to the church. The golden statue transported all (eventually, once the paladin was concerned with the rest of the group again) to a new dungeon with a neat aquarium room at the beginning.
They immediately slew a Hydra and a Dragon, allowing for a level up beam. They also found treasure stored in demonic church pews. Then they reached the infamous demon orb room. A really creepy room with many different style of demons holding glowing orbs. The wizard touched the first orb, and felt a good spell cast on herself. Heartened by this, the paladin ran to the end of the hall, touched the red orb and disappeared.
The wizard attempted to follow, but found that touching the now not glowing orb didn't help. A nearby gold one suited her fancy, and she touched it and disappeared as well. The druid vanished after touching the silver orb. The rogue, now being left to her own devices, decided to run along the chamber and touch each of the remaining orbs, resulting in firey bear claws of death attached to a blind gnome bouncing off the walls.
The paladin quickly dispatched a manticore. The paranoid wizard cast lightening on a pond only to discover that shocker lizards are immune to lightening (thanks B!!
) The druid touches a book and barely escapes having maggots coming out of his skin. They all convene back in the orb room, where they find Onyx, blind and bear clawed still.
Roc decides to touch the remaining orbs and grows over 20ft tall, then gets frozen. The party decided to camp with a 20ft paladin keeping watch.
This adventure was full of great moments, sorry if I missed any.
Pearl the wizard gnome with Prickles the hedgehog
Onyx the Rogue (&Pearls twin)
Roc the Paladin
Wolfgang the Druid with his trusty wolf Ruger
Our adventurer's started off in the same dungeon, where against all odds we managed to save the town. This is after the rogue kicked the paladin through a white substance while he was attempting to pray for guidance. The group had to tell the townspeople about the few who were not saved, and the Paladin gave a, let's say, interesting Eulogy since the priest was missing.
At this point the paladin became primarily focused on obtaining a white warhorse to use as his mount, and little else seemed to matter. The party journeyed back to see Rock's sister and the clergy in the next town over, now realizing that Father M is their primary mission. After discovering that there was no mount to be had, they made their way back to the church. The golden statue transported all (eventually, once the paladin was concerned with the rest of the group again) to a new dungeon with a neat aquarium room at the beginning.
They immediately slew a Hydra and a Dragon, allowing for a level up beam. They also found treasure stored in demonic church pews. Then they reached the infamous demon orb room. A really creepy room with many different style of demons holding glowing orbs. The wizard touched the first orb, and felt a good spell cast on herself. Heartened by this, the paladin ran to the end of the hall, touched the red orb and disappeared.
The wizard attempted to follow, but found that touching the now not glowing orb didn't help. A nearby gold one suited her fancy, and she touched it and disappeared as well. The druid vanished after touching the silver orb. The rogue, now being left to her own devices, decided to run along the chamber and touch each of the remaining orbs, resulting in firey bear claws of death attached to a blind gnome bouncing off the walls.
The paladin quickly dispatched a manticore. The paranoid wizard cast lightening on a pond only to discover that shocker lizards are immune to lightening (thanks B!!
) The druid touches a book and barely escapes having maggots coming out of his skin. They all convene back in the orb room, where they find Onyx, blind and bear clawed still.Roc decides to touch the remaining orbs and grows over 20ft tall, then gets frozen. The party decided to camp with a 20ft paladin keeping watch.
This adventure was full of great moments, sorry if I missed any.
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