Well, you know, life happens. This particular party of adventurers has not met since this summer, and so to remind you, we have: a dwarf fighter, a sorceress, ranger, monk, barbarian, and cleric (all human).
But...before the excitement of the continuing campaign can begin, Captain and the DM take several precious seconds being fascinated by a bag of the DM's blank white block/dice.
Then, the party has arisen one morning shortly after daybreak. There has been an addition. Standing at the edge of the party's campsite is a short ranger-looking type. Gary the ranger recognizes him as an acquaintance, and a mini-reunion ensues while the rest of the company remains suspicious. The new player introduces himself as 'Popori' and says he is of the House of Campbell, sent to help the party. The skepticism over his authenticity continues until he admits that his bosses are kind of jerks. Doubt is further removed as he shows us his slave brand.
However, Vanya the monk is impelled to ask: "Why are you here to help?"
Popori: "I'm the best."
Vanya: "We already have a ranger."
Popori: "I'm better."
At that pronouncement, Popori is in. Gary appears to be a little put out, and challenges his ranger friend to a jumping contest. Surprisingly, Gary wins the best two out of three.
Meanwhile, the group discusses the day's plan. It is suspected that Princess Nadima is being kept within the castle grounds, in the centrally located building. As the group is hushedly throwing ideas back and forth, a few castle guards patrol by, and one of them utters "10% to Mattix". The group assumes that is a password of sorts, and Eva is prompted to suggest some kind of diversion that will pull some guards into the forest, where an ambush awaits. Then, Crom the barbarian and Gary will don the guards' clothing, and lead us as "prisoners" into the complex, where we may then begin our assault upon the castle.
Eva, with the higher Charisma, will play the part of the damsel in distress and Crom is shanghaied into being the "attacker". In an effort to be more believable as the assailant, Crom removes his pink loincloth, but feels a bit bereft without it. The diversion plan goes off without a hitch, with kills recorded by Popori and Tordek the fighter. An even longer discussion then ensues about how to exactly storm the castle. Eventually, the plan takes shape like this:
Eva, Popori tailing along, will cast Invisibility and sneak around the north side of the castle. A well-timed Fireball at the far tower/parapet will hopefully draw much of the guards down to that end, allowing the rest of the party to enter unhindered through the main entrance.
Eva & Popori: go invisible and being the trek around. However, they see two other patrolling guards and stop to wait for them to pass by.
Rest of party: Timing is now a problem, as the main group doesn't know E & P have stopped. Upon continuing, Gary, Vanya, Arnie, Crom, and Tordek are stopped by two guards just inside the entrance. Gary yells, "10% to Mattix". The guards make no acknowledgement, so Gary says it again. This time, the guards draw swords. They want to know the password, and the several seconds of awkward silence that follows is enough to tip them off that something is amiss. Hence, a battle begins.
1. Tordek experiences an eerie sense of deja vu as he critically fumbles his very first roll and falls down in front of a guard.
2. Eventually, though, the group dispatches the guards nicely, and kills are shared all around.
Crom and Gary do some quick corpse placement (Crom strikes his best casual "there's nothing to see here" pose), and Tordek peeks around the corner, looking for more guards. He sees none, but he does catch the big "WHOOOMF" sound of a tower being fireballed. Simultaneously, two other guards on patrol round the corner. Imagine the very suspicious scene they've just stumbled onto: two propped-up dead bodies, two hyper-casual guards, a couple of extra random people, and a little dwarf looking around the corner of the inside of the building. Before anyone can say Tasha's Hideous Laughter, the guard kill-count today is increased by two.
The main portion of the party marches on to the central building, to be joined by the invisible Eva and Popori. Taking advantage of the invisibility, Eva enters the building, does a quick scout, and exits. In a large room, she says, is a pit, a cage containing the Princess suspended above it, and guards among a throne/chair. Crom sets the events in motion by rushing into the building (The Tower is on fire! Help!) to draw as many guards out as possible. It is soon obvious that the guards are not interested in helping their fellow man, as only one man exits. But, Eva fireballs him anyway and any other residuals who might be just inside the entrance.
After dispatching the lone (and extremely tough) guard (who is also on fire, by the way), the group proceeds to enter the building. The DM asks the party to roll a d20, and it is then that Tordek, Vanya, and Popori notice flying arrows from behind them. Obviously, the guards along the west walls have caught wind of the company's shenanigans, but they are no match for the two rangers, who remain outside to pick off the archers. Everyone else enters the building to presumably kill some guards and rescue the princess.
OOG: Travis, playing with his dice, pops his own son in the forehead with a random, freaky dice flip.
Popori wows the crowd outside with 36 points of arrow damage to a squishy archer. Inside, there is much hacking, slashing, punching, scorching over the next several minutes. The leader (here dubbed 'Giganto') has menacingly advanced towards the fighters, but the party carries on, undaunted.
1. Crom fumbles and flings his weapon across the room.
2. Tordek scores a kill and, looking to "cleave more soldiers", follows the sounds of Gary's celebration outside
3. After a Shocking Grasp by Eva, Vanya delivers the final death punch to the windpipe of one guard.
4. Arnie the cleric takes a break from fighting to do some much-needed healing.
5. Giganto continues to advance, despite being Magic Missiled by Eva.
6. The rangers and fighter return inside, where Popori critically fumbles, nailing Crom in the back with an arrow.
7. Finally, though, the sorceress Shocks Giganto to death.
However, while the epic battle seems to be over...but nothing could be further from the truth, because...
1. Eva begins a search for treasure near the throne, and sets off a trap, which drops her into the pit below the suspended cage.
2. Vanya sees an eight-legged arachoferretcheeseheadleopard, now advancing menacingly, in the pit with Eva.
3. Tordek jumps in to the pit, Vanya Slow Falls, and Crom slides down the chute.
4. Eva takes several points of claw damage but manages to get in a Scorching Ray.
5. Gary, ignoring the drama below, continues searching up top, and finds a heavy treasure chest near the throne.
6. Tordek swipes and Vanya punches the creature.
7. Eva crawls away and goes fetal after being clawed down to five hit points.
8. Popori gets an arrow shot in from above.
9. Arnie watches.
10. Tordek finally makes the kill, and hoists a bleeding Eva back up the chute.
11. There is much divvying up of treasure and discussing and searching of bodies. After a delayed reaction by Arnie, Eva is finally healed.
12. Everyone gets A LOT OF GOLD and BOOTY (swimming rings, potions, wand, swords, huzzah!)
13. Vanya begins to question the prisoner, Nadima. As it turns out, she's extremely whiny...
N: I've had a bad day.
E: Let me tell you about a bad day! (Eva is visibly restrained during this exchange)
After a not-so-gentle removal of Nadima from her cage, the party makes their way back to the Campbell escorts (100 of them! Where the hell were they during all this?) Eva sends one last tension-releasing Fireball back at the complex tower. The group receives another 100 gold pieces from head Campbell guy and another task: sneak Nadima to Hrunchuk's Garden in the Temple Garden. Eva refuses to go another step until the slave brands have been removed (per hiring agreement), which Campbell does then do.
After a day or two's rest, the group is off to escort Nadima to the garden, but not before the encounter of a troop of green-clad men, prompting Nadima to cry out, "I'm saved! Rescue me!" to them.
Oh, hell no, she just didn't?
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