A million thanks to our illustrious scribe!!!
Well, dammit all to hell. I had this whole thing typed up and ready to go, and it went amiss due to technical difficulties.
For any background information, cross reference the post from August 30, 2009.
Our valiant adventurers had just overtaken a guarded caravan, due to an excellently planned and executed diversion plan. With Pyre the Ranger driving the now-vacated wagon, Ellora the Sorceress and Bavmorda the Rogue following on horseback, and Brunhilda the half-orc inside, the party set off for Mount Dew in the quest to rescue Fern.
As the surrounding terrain grew more wild and rocky, the party noted larger-than-life spider webs adorning the wilderness. It is at this time the Ranger amazes the entire group with this astounding precept: Large spider webs usually means large spiders. The rogue ridicules Pyre for his “four years of elf school”. That observation is especially ironic in several minutes when Pyre is bitten by a rapidly descending arachnid. Brunhilda does maximum cleaving damage and Ellora finishes it with her crossbow. Ellora then uncovers a longbow and studded leather suit among the spider corpse.
Continuing on to Mount Dew, the party is accosted by Air Eagle (whatsherface’s mate), who offers rides directly to the gate. Ellora eagerly takes AE up on his offer, but Pyre decides to study the bridge’s possibilities for several moments. Per Murphy’s Law, the moment Pyre and Brunhilda begin to cross the bridge, they are attacked by trolls. A brief battle ensues, along with eagle swooping, hacking, and arrow puncturing. Shortly afterwards, Pyre and Brunhilda join the others. Air Eagle informs the group he is vehemently against Teaville…a factoid that might be useful later…
The doors of Mount Dew are strong and sturdy, and Brunhilda looks to flex her muscles as she attempts to beat down the door. However, that fails…but alas, the handle works! Brunhilda compensates by totally punching down the now-slightly ajar door. Within the dark space, a noise is heard, and Brunhilda takes off at a dead sprint to…MINOTAUR! The barbarian rages, and soon the hallways carry the smell of singed Minotaur flesh. However, the barbarian’s raging state does not end for several minutes, and so the entire party is witness to a thorough annihilation of a random storeroom boxes and crates by Brunhilda. Searching debris renders some Cure Moderate Wounds potions and a “Lint Ball in a Bag”, found by the Rogue.
The party ascends a ladder at this time, and in the middle of the new room is a table, on which a random map is placed. How fortuitous our adventurers are! This map details an impending takeover route of Kokoa and other neighboring cities. What such an important map is doing in such a conspicuous place is puzzling indeed. The company continues up another ladder and is met by a group of soldiers, all of whom are dispatched quickly. Ellora manages to cast Hold Person on one, and begins tying him up…for questioning purposes.
Pyre soon brings over his sharpened blade point to hover at “Todd’s” throat. Ellora reminds Pyre that the HP spell wears off soon, and so his torture strategies will need to be quickly executed. Todd informs them that yes, there is an invasion planned, and yes, a force of roughly 20-30 soldiers is en route to Mount Dew. This is not new news to the group – remember the map from earlier? Todd informs Pyre that more useful information could be obtained from his boss…but alas, that guy is discovered to be dead from the fray earlier. Bavmorda and Ellora exit the room through another ladder.
Bav and Ellora overhear more men talking the room above. Ellora then casts Disguise Self, and adopts the disguise of Stoned Canadian Warrior. Her plan is to gather any new information about the takeover. Her plan is thwarted, however, by Pyre, who has grown tired of the slow conversation and takes matters into her own hands. He shouts, “Hey Bill, the shipment’s here.” Nine unarmed guards scurry down the ladder only to be met by Pyre, Brunhilda, and Bavmorda and their weapons of death. Ellora is a bit disgruntled and casts Daze on Pyre. She impels him to not interfere with her plans again.
After he snaps out of it, the company enters into a Dire Wolverine (insert X-Men claw-appearing sound). Brunhilda and Pyre battle it, Bavmorda fumbles, and Ellora spectates. Another ladder leads to another occupied room, which leads to another onslaught, which leads to another nine dead bodies. Here, Pyre locates a blue key and gold pieces. The group decision here is to move back to the Wolverine Room and rest. The discussion at this time is the awkwardness of the slew of corpses the party has left in its wake. Brunhilda’s clean up plan involves throwing all cadavers out the nearest window. The party lets her have at it.
And thus ends the night.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Search for Frosty: Episode 3
From the golden quill of our sexy sorceress!
Well, this is way overdue, but better late than never, I always say.
This Dungeons and Dragons adventure provided a bit of excitement in the fact that our DM for the evening was Brent, who had not captained the helm since January 2009.
Feel free to peruse back through Yuena’s archives to bring yourself up to speed on this particular campaign…or, read my quick recap here. The roster includes:
Bavmorda: a half-elf rogue
Pyre Fierceshot: half-elf ranger
Ellora: human sorceress
Brunhilda: half-orc barbarian
After some out-of-game congratulations to the Captain on his new job and exclamations of disgust/interest of an online picture of a gal with back piercings, the party settled in.
As you may (or, probably don’t) remember, this party was commissioned to rescue an artifact, a sword names Frosty, by the mayor of Teaville. After a double-cross by a dwarf named Pilch, a scotch-hobbling of said dwarf by Crazy Cletus, and an angry mob chase out of town, the party fled to Kokoa (Pyre’s hometown), taking refuge there. Sharing the recent events with Kokoa’s mayor, it is soon agreed upon that action must be taken. Concern over the erratic mayor’s behavior lately, as well as the recent news from Jonathan, the Kokoa/Teaville liaison, that residents of Teaville have taken up arms and declared war on the small group of adventurers (eliciting a moment of reflective shock from Bavmorda, who had obviously never had war declared on her), make it clear things are moving quickly.
Jonathan also informs the group that Fern, the friendly guide from previous adventures, has been taken hostage to the dreaded Mount Dew. The group feels an obligation to rescue Fern, since it is their fault he has been associated with them.
The mayor is then completely told how to do his job when Pyre recommends a stockpiling of arms, gathering of supplies, and protecting of women and children. The group chuckles for a moment when the mayor says, “I have this rod,” and proceeds to give Ellora a wand that sends up cocoa-flavored, rice-krisped flares.
It seems the general plan now is for the party to rescue Fern, then subdue the village of Teaville. Sounds like a good time, and trips to the general store and church to secure supplies are in order. Ellora and Jonathan take a tumble in the hay at this time as well.
The two-day trip to Mount Dew is interesting to say the least:
1. Owlbear on the road: Brunhilda wastes no time and takes off at a dead sprint. Ellora attempts to do a sexy spell-casting-while-riding-horse series of movements, but fails her Concentration check. Brunhilda takes some serious claw and bite damage, Ellora Scorching Rays the creature, Pyre Rapid Shots it, and Bav finally chalks up the kill. Brunhilda picks up the body and shakes it fiercely…finding a few gold pieces.
2.Brunhilda kind of has a thing for Pyre and tries “hitting” on him.
B: Green is your favorite color. (Whether she’s asking him or telling him is unclear)
P: Yes, it is. Me being a man of nature and all.
3. Group comes upon a weird-looking tree and from it stream a pack of…RACCOONS! After several shouts of “Are you shitting me?”, the fight begins. There is a significant amount of clawing, shooting, magic missiling until the party notices Jabba the Hutt-Raccoon, perhaps the leader, skulking in the background. Ellora casts Web and traps two, Pyre critically misses, and Bav makes a kill. Ellora casts Flaming Sphere on Jabba, who attacks and knocks Ellora off her horse and bites her, but eventually JH is taken down. Bavmorda locates a small hole off to the side of the tree, she squeezes in, locates treasure, throws it out to the rest of the crew, and the loot is divvied up among the others.
4. Ellora gives her Corsair’s eyepatch to Brunhilda, and recommends she put it on (for reasons that make sense only to a Chaotic Neutrally aligned person, no doubt). Out-of-game: Captain Tiki makes a “strap-on” comment at this time and finds himself backpedaling a bit, language-wise, as there are small children in the room.
5. The party travels on up over the hill, where they spot an ogre in the distance. Pyre restrains Brunhilda from running to it, but Ellora spoils it by shouting “Oy, ogre!”. The beast is quickly made into mince-ogre-meat, with Pyre collecting the goods off the dead body.
**Interlude: There is some side boob coppage of Brunhilda by the ranger.**
6. A noise in the distance alerts the party to a giant eagle who appears to be fighting off a group of goblins. After noticing the eagle is protecting a nest, the party storms in to help. Bav sneak attacks and kills one, Pyre picks one off due to Rapid Shot, Ellora freezes one with Ray of Frost, Brunhilda critically hits one, and cleaves it with her mighty greataxe.
7. After the fray has ended, the party slowly backs away from the giant, uber-overprotective mother eagle. To their great surprise, the eagle then says, “Don’t go, friends.” The upshot of this fascinating conversation is the eagle offers the party rides to Mount Dew, but only when her mate returns, the when of that being unclear. The party declines and rides on, soon camping for the night. Pyre is used as Brunhilda’s giant body pillow, and since Bav doesn’t need as much sleep as the rest of the party, she entertains herself by playing pranks on the sleeping couple (placing hands in provocative positions, etc.).
OOG: Some RenFest discussion and strawberry shortcake.
8. Bav continues to be on watch, but the camp is soon in chaos due to an orc attack. Brunhilda takes forever to wake up, but it’s not long before the Scorching Rays, Rapid Shots, greataxes, Shocking Grasps, and short swords have rendered the orcs incapacitated. Brunhilda checks, but finds no gold pieces.
OOG: It’s another round of sexual innuendos as Mrs. Tiki explains why she likes the clicky eraser (“it’s just the tip” and “the shaft is fine”), and these comments elicit a response from the DM about “the ranger pitching a tent”. Bwaaaahahaaaa,
9. Party sees Mount Dew in the distance and they press on. But not long after the sighting, Pyre’s “elf-eyes” spots a wagon train in the distance, and he calls Bavmorda to come check it out as well. Brunhilda and Ellora are like WTF? at being left out, so they join the other two as well. Turns out the party is gazing at a guarded wagon. Yay.
10. An elaborate diversion is planned:
a. Ellora will distract the front two guards by being a damsel in distress. This involves torn clothing and overflowing cleavage. She pretends to be running from the mad half-orc (aka Brunhilda) who the guards just happen to see coming down the hill. They have no idea Brunhilda is coming for them.
b. As the front appears to be under the company’s control, Bavmorda and Pyre will pick off guardsmen from the back. Bav succeeds on her attempts, Pyre fails; there is much swearing.
c. Brunhilda hacks at horse and unseats (and kills) a guard, Ellora Shocking Grasps the two footmen.
d. Four more guards issue from the inside of the wagon.; Ellora misses her touch attack.
e. Bav and Pyre take care of four horsemen, Ellora electrocutes some, Brunhilda cleaves a few, Pyre is in disbelief about the guy who’s still fighting even though he’s got FIVE ARROWS sticking out of him. However, when the smoke clears, eleven guards are dead.
At this point, the company stops for a well-deserved lunch. The gaming session comes to a close for the night as well. Excellent so far!
Well, this is way overdue, but better late than never, I always say.
This Dungeons and Dragons adventure provided a bit of excitement in the fact that our DM for the evening was Brent, who had not captained the helm since January 2009.
Feel free to peruse back through Yuena’s archives to bring yourself up to speed on this particular campaign…or, read my quick recap here. The roster includes:
Bavmorda: a half-elf rogue
Pyre Fierceshot: half-elf ranger
Ellora: human sorceress
Brunhilda: half-orc barbarian
After some out-of-game congratulations to the Captain on his new job and exclamations of disgust/interest of an online picture of a gal with back piercings, the party settled in.
As you may (or, probably don’t) remember, this party was commissioned to rescue an artifact, a sword names Frosty, by the mayor of Teaville. After a double-cross by a dwarf named Pilch, a scotch-hobbling of said dwarf by Crazy Cletus, and an angry mob chase out of town, the party fled to Kokoa (Pyre’s hometown), taking refuge there. Sharing the recent events with Kokoa’s mayor, it is soon agreed upon that action must be taken. Concern over the erratic mayor’s behavior lately, as well as the recent news from Jonathan, the Kokoa/Teaville liaison, that residents of Teaville have taken up arms and declared war on the small group of adventurers (eliciting a moment of reflective shock from Bavmorda, who had obviously never had war declared on her), make it clear things are moving quickly.
Jonathan also informs the group that Fern, the friendly guide from previous adventures, has been taken hostage to the dreaded Mount Dew. The group feels an obligation to rescue Fern, since it is their fault he has been associated with them.
The mayor is then completely told how to do his job when Pyre recommends a stockpiling of arms, gathering of supplies, and protecting of women and children. The group chuckles for a moment when the mayor says, “I have this rod,” and proceeds to give Ellora a wand that sends up cocoa-flavored, rice-krisped flares.
It seems the general plan now is for the party to rescue Fern, then subdue the village of Teaville. Sounds like a good time, and trips to the general store and church to secure supplies are in order. Ellora and Jonathan take a tumble in the hay at this time as well.
The two-day trip to Mount Dew is interesting to say the least:
1. Owlbear on the road: Brunhilda wastes no time and takes off at a dead sprint. Ellora attempts to do a sexy spell-casting-while-riding-horse series of movements, but fails her Concentration check. Brunhilda takes some serious claw and bite damage, Ellora Scorching Rays the creature, Pyre Rapid Shots it, and Bav finally chalks up the kill. Brunhilda picks up the body and shakes it fiercely…finding a few gold pieces.
2.Brunhilda kind of has a thing for Pyre and tries “hitting” on him.
B: Green is your favorite color. (Whether she’s asking him or telling him is unclear)
P: Yes, it is. Me being a man of nature and all.
3. Group comes upon a weird-looking tree and from it stream a pack of…RACCOONS! After several shouts of “Are you shitting me?”, the fight begins. There is a significant amount of clawing, shooting, magic missiling until the party notices Jabba the Hutt-Raccoon, perhaps the leader, skulking in the background. Ellora casts Web and traps two, Pyre critically misses, and Bav makes a kill. Ellora casts Flaming Sphere on Jabba, who attacks and knocks Ellora off her horse and bites her, but eventually JH is taken down. Bavmorda locates a small hole off to the side of the tree, she squeezes in, locates treasure, throws it out to the rest of the crew, and the loot is divvied up among the others.
4. Ellora gives her Corsair’s eyepatch to Brunhilda, and recommends she put it on (for reasons that make sense only to a Chaotic Neutrally aligned person, no doubt). Out-of-game: Captain Tiki makes a “strap-on” comment at this time and finds himself backpedaling a bit, language-wise, as there are small children in the room.
5. The party travels on up over the hill, where they spot an ogre in the distance. Pyre restrains Brunhilda from running to it, but Ellora spoils it by shouting “Oy, ogre!”. The beast is quickly made into mince-ogre-meat, with Pyre collecting the goods off the dead body.
**Interlude: There is some side boob coppage of Brunhilda by the ranger.**
6. A noise in the distance alerts the party to a giant eagle who appears to be fighting off a group of goblins. After noticing the eagle is protecting a nest, the party storms in to help. Bav sneak attacks and kills one, Pyre picks one off due to Rapid Shot, Ellora freezes one with Ray of Frost, Brunhilda critically hits one, and cleaves it with her mighty greataxe.
7. After the fray has ended, the party slowly backs away from the giant, uber-overprotective mother eagle. To their great surprise, the eagle then says, “Don’t go, friends.” The upshot of this fascinating conversation is the eagle offers the party rides to Mount Dew, but only when her mate returns, the when of that being unclear. The party declines and rides on, soon camping for the night. Pyre is used as Brunhilda’s giant body pillow, and since Bav doesn’t need as much sleep as the rest of the party, she entertains herself by playing pranks on the sleeping couple (placing hands in provocative positions, etc.).
OOG: Some RenFest discussion and strawberry shortcake.
8. Bav continues to be on watch, but the camp is soon in chaos due to an orc attack. Brunhilda takes forever to wake up, but it’s not long before the Scorching Rays, Rapid Shots, greataxes, Shocking Grasps, and short swords have rendered the orcs incapacitated. Brunhilda checks, but finds no gold pieces.
OOG: It’s another round of sexual innuendos as Mrs. Tiki explains why she likes the clicky eraser (“it’s just the tip” and “the shaft is fine”), and these comments elicit a response from the DM about “the ranger pitching a tent”. Bwaaaahahaaaa,
9. Party sees Mount Dew in the distance and they press on. But not long after the sighting, Pyre’s “elf-eyes” spots a wagon train in the distance, and he calls Bavmorda to come check it out as well. Brunhilda and Ellora are like WTF? at being left out, so they join the other two as well. Turns out the party is gazing at a guarded wagon. Yay.
10. An elaborate diversion is planned:
a. Ellora will distract the front two guards by being a damsel in distress. This involves torn clothing and overflowing cleavage. She pretends to be running from the mad half-orc (aka Brunhilda) who the guards just happen to see coming down the hill. They have no idea Brunhilda is coming for them.
b. As the front appears to be under the company’s control, Bavmorda and Pyre will pick off guardsmen from the back. Bav succeeds on her attempts, Pyre fails; there is much swearing.
c. Brunhilda hacks at horse and unseats (and kills) a guard, Ellora Shocking Grasps the two footmen.
d. Four more guards issue from the inside of the wagon.; Ellora misses her touch attack.
e. Bav and Pyre take care of four horsemen, Ellora electrocutes some, Brunhilda cleaves a few, Pyre is in disbelief about the guy who’s still fighting even though he’s got FIVE ARROWS sticking out of him. However, when the smoke clears, eleven guards are dead.
At this point, the company stops for a well-deserved lunch. The gaming session comes to a close for the night as well. Excellent so far!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
August High Seas adventure
Alas! The mighty mission at the keyboard is approaching its end. There were three DnD adventures I needed to recall and recap, and I am now finally on the third. This was just last night's adventure, and so should be fresh in my mind.
Hopefully, a worthy tale for my listeners. Ummm...readers.
This is Captain Tiki's adventure, the one at sea and the party is as follows:
Andromeda - a sexually expressive Deepwoods Sniping Druid
Mercutio - the much-abused Dragon Disciple/Sorcerer (aka Powder Monkey, Cock Blocker, Wizard etc.)
Captain Bella - the party's resident Rogue/Honorable Dread Pirate, and Captain of the vessel, the Nightshade
Willow - a brooding orc-, merfolk-, and certain human-hating Ranger/Bloodhound
This party left off in the port of Gradsul, where a day's repair awaited the Nightshade.
Bella and Willow: off to the nearest tavern
Andromeda: off to the forest with Teowynn and their cats
Mercutio: hang around the ship, but sends Fizz out to spread his seed
At the local Seaside Bar, Willow purchased a mead and broods. Bella buys a round for everyone in the bar (except for Willow, who obviously spoke too soon). A rousing chorus of "Are you shitting me?" goes up around the room.
Bella and Willow hatch a Bar Rumble plan, in which the two local bars (one of sailors, the other of farmers) will fight each other Jets vs. Sharks-style. Bella then meanders to the other bar to buy drinks for those guys, and begin to spread her own seed...of discontent.
Fizz has returned, meanwhile, to Mercutio, looking much, much happier and calmer. Speaking of calm, Andromeda is not when she discovers that although she wished to be ordering from the LUNCH menu, the restaurant where she and Teowynn sit is nearing the very end of its lunch rush. In fact, they've hit the early dinner senior citizen crowd.
Bella buys the farmers' bar patrons a drink, and general cry of "Farmers Are Good People" is heard 'round the tavern. It is OOG considered that this would be an excellent t-shirt slogan.
Mercutio meets Andromeda coming back to the ship with her druid friend, and Lawful Neutral Mercutio feels the need to lay down the Non-Wenching Rules of the Ship (which really only apply to him, but whatever). There is much confusion and questioning by Andromeda, and it seems Mercutio is attempting to pull rank - thus setting off a spell battle between the two players.
Andromeda morphes into giant octopus form. Mercutio responds by casting Fly on himself, and then Invisibility. Andromeda casts Standing Wave, which carries her around, following the sound of Merc's voice as he taunts her. In the final blow, Mercutio casts Dancing Lights...and since Andromeda cannot obviously compete with that, she is done. In what can only be perceived as a "victory dance", Mercutio humps the Captain's wheel. It is assumed by Andromeda that the wheel is now tainted, because she can see the movement of the wheel and in what manner it is moving, but she cannot see Mercutio, whom she assumed has his clothes off (which he doesn't).
Back at the Seaside Bar, a half-orc enters. Willow stares, glares, and broods some more. It is not her nature to start something, but she will finish it, given the chance. At this time, Bella bops in, buys yet another round, and yells, "Sailors Are Good People!". By the way, Andromeda has arrived.
And, then, of all things, Fizz the owl flies in the tavern, clutching a waterskin and a note for the bartender...who, by the way, doesn't know how to read. So Willow "translates" for the barkeep and tells him the note roughly says, "I'm from the Farmer Bar, I want a cheap beer, but I don't want to soil my shoes by stepping in that place. Please, fill this waterskin, and send it back with the owl." The bartender is angry, and begins to spread discontent around the bar, while Andromeda buys a beer and leaves the inn. Pretty soon, some of the Seaside bar patrons appear to be riled, so Willow and Bella exit through the front door, hoping to lead them to the Farmer Bar (well, not really lead, but appear to lead, then follow sneakily). About fifteen patrons end up in front of the Farmer Bar, unsure of what to do next when Bella from the back of the crowd chucks a rock through the window, and Willow screams "Farmers Suck!" Despite these great efforts, the attempt at a bar brawl fizzles. Willow and Bella return to the ship to analyze bar failure/mob mentality strategies.
Willow miserably fails a Bluff check as she tells Mercutio the bartender bitch-slapped Fizz around when he flew in with the waterskin.
An uneventful night passes, and the party leaves the next morning. Up head - the Gryrax peninsula.
The Events of the Day:
1. Attack by three giant squid, who reach with ten tentacles onto the ship. Squid #1: Willow critically fumbles, only gets in two of her six weapon attacks. Andromeda critically hits and Squid #1 peels off side of ship. Squid #2 and #3 pull up their ugly faces over the ship. Their tentacle slaps do A LOT of damage to Mercutio, Willow, and Bella. Squid #2 succeeds on a grapple with Willow and does another ten biting damage. Eventually, the party, with the help of Willow's wolverine (Logan) and Andromeda's lion (Aslan), squid #2 is calamari. Squid #3 does a fair amount of smackage, but through a tremendous whole=group effort, that sucker dies too.
2. OOG: Dinner Break. Cold cut sandwiches, fruit, chips. Also, a raging debate: should the Tikis buy a kneeboard for the upcoming camping trip? Or maybe a new tube? Everyone had opinions on this one.
3. Back in the game, Fizz spots four sea turtle-looking things...official name: TOJANIDA. Spanish or something. Mercutio casts an off-ship ice storm, which sends a pretty serious message to the ToJos. The fighting begins, and Mercutio is blinding by stinging stream of Tostada ink. Fizz casts Bull Strength on Willow, which beefs up the ranger's damage. Bella and Willow make a kill each, meanwhile a lightning bolt spell cast by Mercutio sends sizzling meat chunks all over the ship. Searches of the whole carcasses, as well as the meat chunks, turn up a fair amount of platinum pieces for the entire party.
4. The party reaches Blue, Andromeda disembarks to say goodbye to Teowynn, but everyone else stays on board. The almighty leveling beam touches each party member. Whoohoo!
5. The last leg of the sea journey is nearing to an end, as the Nightshade comes into Relmor Bay. A squad of Triton makes an attack, but the party proves to be ready, picking off the aquatic humanoids one by one. Kills: Mercutio - Two, Willow - Two, Bella - One, Andromeda - Three.
6. Thorgrin the dwarf meets the fleet at the docks of Prymp. He is obviously delighted to have the entire fleet of ships return, whole, full of good iron. After many attempts of the party to use "Jedi Mind Tricks", Thorgrin grants each person "One Magical Upgrade on Weapon". Mercutio steps in here and asks for a free taco...Thorgrin is feeling generous, obviously, and grants "Free Tacos to All!"
7. Andromeda makes a comment about "never having a dwarf before". Thorgrin looks her over and declares "I'd do you." Andromeda ends up passing the dwarf over, as she says she'd appreciate someone with a little more enthusiasm.
And that's it!
Hopefully, a worthy tale for my listeners. Ummm...readers.
This is Captain Tiki's adventure, the one at sea and the party is as follows:
Andromeda - a sexually expressive Deepwoods Sniping Druid
Mercutio - the much-abused Dragon Disciple/Sorcerer (aka Powder Monkey, Cock Blocker, Wizard etc.)
Captain Bella - the party's resident Rogue/Honorable Dread Pirate, and Captain of the vessel, the Nightshade
Willow - a brooding orc-, merfolk-, and certain human-hating Ranger/Bloodhound
This party left off in the port of Gradsul, where a day's repair awaited the Nightshade.
Bella and Willow: off to the nearest tavern
Andromeda: off to the forest with Teowynn and their cats
Mercutio: hang around the ship, but sends Fizz out to spread his seed
At the local Seaside Bar, Willow purchased a mead and broods. Bella buys a round for everyone in the bar (except for Willow, who obviously spoke too soon). A rousing chorus of "Are you shitting me?" goes up around the room.
Bella and Willow hatch a Bar Rumble plan, in which the two local bars (one of sailors, the other of farmers) will fight each other Jets vs. Sharks-style. Bella then meanders to the other bar to buy drinks for those guys, and begin to spread her own seed...of discontent.
Fizz has returned, meanwhile, to Mercutio, looking much, much happier and calmer. Speaking of calm, Andromeda is not when she discovers that although she wished to be ordering from the LUNCH menu, the restaurant where she and Teowynn sit is nearing the very end of its lunch rush. In fact, they've hit the early dinner senior citizen crowd.
Bella buys the farmers' bar patrons a drink, and general cry of "Farmers Are Good People" is heard 'round the tavern. It is OOG considered that this would be an excellent t-shirt slogan.
Mercutio meets Andromeda coming back to the ship with her druid friend, and Lawful Neutral Mercutio feels the need to lay down the Non-Wenching Rules of the Ship (which really only apply to him, but whatever). There is much confusion and questioning by Andromeda, and it seems Mercutio is attempting to pull rank - thus setting off a spell battle between the two players.
Andromeda morphes into giant octopus form. Mercutio responds by casting Fly on himself, and then Invisibility. Andromeda casts Standing Wave, which carries her around, following the sound of Merc's voice as he taunts her. In the final blow, Mercutio casts Dancing Lights...and since Andromeda cannot obviously compete with that, she is done. In what can only be perceived as a "victory dance", Mercutio humps the Captain's wheel. It is assumed by Andromeda that the wheel is now tainted, because she can see the movement of the wheel and in what manner it is moving, but she cannot see Mercutio, whom she assumed has his clothes off (which he doesn't).
Back at the Seaside Bar, a half-orc enters. Willow stares, glares, and broods some more. It is not her nature to start something, but she will finish it, given the chance. At this time, Bella bops in, buys yet another round, and yells, "Sailors Are Good People!". By the way, Andromeda has arrived.
And, then, of all things, Fizz the owl flies in the tavern, clutching a waterskin and a note for the bartender...who, by the way, doesn't know how to read. So Willow "translates" for the barkeep and tells him the note roughly says, "I'm from the Farmer Bar, I want a cheap beer, but I don't want to soil my shoes by stepping in that place. Please, fill this waterskin, and send it back with the owl." The bartender is angry, and begins to spread discontent around the bar, while Andromeda buys a beer and leaves the inn. Pretty soon, some of the Seaside bar patrons appear to be riled, so Willow and Bella exit through the front door, hoping to lead them to the Farmer Bar (well, not really lead, but appear to lead, then follow sneakily). About fifteen patrons end up in front of the Farmer Bar, unsure of what to do next when Bella from the back of the crowd chucks a rock through the window, and Willow screams "Farmers Suck!" Despite these great efforts, the attempt at a bar brawl fizzles. Willow and Bella return to the ship to analyze bar failure/mob mentality strategies.
Willow miserably fails a Bluff check as she tells Mercutio the bartender bitch-slapped Fizz around when he flew in with the waterskin.
An uneventful night passes, and the party leaves the next morning. Up head - the Gryrax peninsula.
The Events of the Day:
1. Attack by three giant squid, who reach with ten tentacles onto the ship. Squid #1: Willow critically fumbles, only gets in two of her six weapon attacks. Andromeda critically hits and Squid #1 peels off side of ship. Squid #2 and #3 pull up their ugly faces over the ship. Their tentacle slaps do A LOT of damage to Mercutio, Willow, and Bella. Squid #2 succeeds on a grapple with Willow and does another ten biting damage. Eventually, the party, with the help of Willow's wolverine (Logan) and Andromeda's lion (Aslan), squid #2 is calamari. Squid #3 does a fair amount of smackage, but through a tremendous whole=group effort, that sucker dies too.
2. OOG: Dinner Break. Cold cut sandwiches, fruit, chips. Also, a raging debate: should the Tikis buy a kneeboard for the upcoming camping trip? Or maybe a new tube? Everyone had opinions on this one.
3. Back in the game, Fizz spots four sea turtle-looking things...official name: TOJANIDA. Spanish or something. Mercutio casts an off-ship ice storm, which sends a pretty serious message to the ToJos. The fighting begins, and Mercutio is blinding by stinging stream of Tostada ink. Fizz casts Bull Strength on Willow, which beefs up the ranger's damage. Bella and Willow make a kill each, meanwhile a lightning bolt spell cast by Mercutio sends sizzling meat chunks all over the ship. Searches of the whole carcasses, as well as the meat chunks, turn up a fair amount of platinum pieces for the entire party.
4. The party reaches Blue, Andromeda disembarks to say goodbye to Teowynn, but everyone else stays on board. The almighty leveling beam touches each party member. Whoohoo!
5. The last leg of the sea journey is nearing to an end, as the Nightshade comes into Relmor Bay. A squad of Triton makes an attack, but the party proves to be ready, picking off the aquatic humanoids one by one. Kills: Mercutio - Two, Willow - Two, Bella - One, Andromeda - Three.
6. Thorgrin the dwarf meets the fleet at the docks of Prymp. He is obviously delighted to have the entire fleet of ships return, whole, full of good iron. After many attempts of the party to use "Jedi Mind Tricks", Thorgrin grants each person "One Magical Upgrade on Weapon". Mercutio steps in here and asks for a free taco...Thorgrin is feeling generous, obviously, and grants "Free Tacos to All!"
7. Andromeda makes a comment about "never having a dwarf before". Thorgrin looks her over and declares "I'd do you." Andromeda ends up passing the dwarf over, as she says she'd appreciate someone with a little more enthusiasm.
And that's it!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Kimba's Mass Adventure Take 1
Combo effort:
This was going to be an interesting time in a couple of different ways: first, we were supposed to be playing this game while camping, which ended up not happening due to weather. Second, the Captain's niece and nephew (Kristin and Matthew) were joining us for the quest. Finally, it was the debut adventure for new DM Kimba.
Seen previously in Alex's campaign:
Olivet, the renowned bard
Firn, the butt kicking monk
Balen Thunderaxe, the cleaving dwarf
Kat the Sorceress, with her familiar Luna
Newcomers:
Bobby the half orc Barbarian played by Matthew
Elly Bell the adorable gnome illusionist played by Kristin
The previous four had recently suffered a loss to their party. They said a quick goodbye to Silver Fang the barbarian and Greenie the rogue, and began looking for replacements.
They found a half-orc with a gnome on its shoulders that would probably fit the bill.
In the town of Cellular, this newly-formed party discovered that the children of the town have gone missing. Actually, this information is gathered by everyone but the underage half-orc, who has consumed six pints of ale.
After leaving the tavern to consult with the mayor, Bobby randomly punches a house window, then attempts to loot an empty house. Elly Belle the Gnome casts Dancing Lights, which distracts Bobby. Olivet the Bard breaks out into a rendition of "Thriller" in a tribute to Michael Jackson.
The mayor regales the company with tales of the missing children, clues, etc. Fourteen children are missing, and there are rumors of witches and dragons. The adventurers quickly take up the task of finding out where they have gone.
Bobby and Balen declare their "bromance", which is a platonic frienship between two men...in this case, two men who loves axes.
Highlights of the night include:
1. Dire squirrels attack! Balen takes out like five at one time, Firn punches one out of the tree (a la pinata), and a couple of magic missiles and double-axes later - squirrel carcasses litter the ground.
2. The ground becomes squishy, and after a Will save, Elly Bell the Gnome and Bobby the Barbarian become terrified, Olivet fumbles his roll and craps his pants out of fear. Turns out the party is now doing battle with a crocodile and a hag (ugly). Balen fumbles and drops his axe, Kat flings magic missiles, Firn uses Stunning Fists, and Balen ends the battle by whaling on both croc and hag. Bobby apologizes for doing nothing during the fracas. Olivet cuts open the croc and discovers a pouch and a ring.
3. The party travels on and spies a white, encircled structure. Bobby rushes into the building, the party follows, the half-orc keeps running into....a murder of crows! There is much punching, axing, crossbowing, and fireballing that follows. A weird guy shows up in the middle of the fight...no reason why, but he's not around long. Soon, all crows are dead.
4. The hallways are confusing, doorways here and there, corridors that wind along - it is one freaky maze. Elly does some wall climbing (spider climb), and notices some skeletons piled in one corner of a room that the party cannot see into yet.
5. Skeleton Party! Elly the Gnome chooses to investigate the pile of bones, while the rest of the party seems bent on Skeleton Annihilation. Kat the Sorceress fireballs four in one go. In general, there is a bunch of hacking and slashing, while the Bard inspires courage in the party. The battle ends, the skeletons die (again), and Kat finds a ring in the midst of the bone piles.
There were two children not quite dead found in that room also. Time to rest.
Thus ends another good night of gaming. Well done, Kimba, Kristin, and Matthew.
Happy One Year Anniversary to the Gamers!
This was going to be an interesting time in a couple of different ways: first, we were supposed to be playing this game while camping, which ended up not happening due to weather. Second, the Captain's niece and nephew (Kristin and Matthew) were joining us for the quest. Finally, it was the debut adventure for new DM Kimba.
Seen previously in Alex's campaign:
Olivet, the renowned bard
Firn, the butt kicking monk
Balen Thunderaxe, the cleaving dwarf
Kat the Sorceress, with her familiar Luna
Newcomers:
Bobby the half orc Barbarian played by Matthew
Elly Bell the adorable gnome illusionist played by Kristin
The previous four had recently suffered a loss to their party. They said a quick goodbye to Silver Fang the barbarian and Greenie the rogue, and began looking for replacements.
They found a half-orc with a gnome on its shoulders that would probably fit the bill.
In the town of Cellular, this newly-formed party discovered that the children of the town have gone missing. Actually, this information is gathered by everyone but the underage half-orc, who has consumed six pints of ale.
After leaving the tavern to consult with the mayor, Bobby randomly punches a house window, then attempts to loot an empty house. Elly Belle the Gnome casts Dancing Lights, which distracts Bobby. Olivet the Bard breaks out into a rendition of "Thriller" in a tribute to Michael Jackson.
The mayor regales the company with tales of the missing children, clues, etc. Fourteen children are missing, and there are rumors of witches and dragons. The adventurers quickly take up the task of finding out where they have gone.
Bobby and Balen declare their "bromance", which is a platonic frienship between two men...in this case, two men who loves axes.
Highlights of the night include:
1. Dire squirrels attack! Balen takes out like five at one time, Firn punches one out of the tree (a la pinata), and a couple of magic missiles and double-axes later - squirrel carcasses litter the ground.
2. The ground becomes squishy, and after a Will save, Elly Bell the Gnome and Bobby the Barbarian become terrified, Olivet fumbles his roll and craps his pants out of fear. Turns out the party is now doing battle with a crocodile and a hag (ugly). Balen fumbles and drops his axe, Kat flings magic missiles, Firn uses Stunning Fists, and Balen ends the battle by whaling on both croc and hag. Bobby apologizes for doing nothing during the fracas. Olivet cuts open the croc and discovers a pouch and a ring.
3. The party travels on and spies a white, encircled structure. Bobby rushes into the building, the party follows, the half-orc keeps running into....a murder of crows! There is much punching, axing, crossbowing, and fireballing that follows. A weird guy shows up in the middle of the fight...no reason why, but he's not around long. Soon, all crows are dead.
4. The hallways are confusing, doorways here and there, corridors that wind along - it is one freaky maze. Elly does some wall climbing (spider climb), and notices some skeletons piled in one corner of a room that the party cannot see into yet.
5. Skeleton Party! Elly the Gnome chooses to investigate the pile of bones, while the rest of the party seems bent on Skeleton Annihilation. Kat the Sorceress fireballs four in one go. In general, there is a bunch of hacking and slashing, while the Bard inspires courage in the party. The battle ends, the skeletons die (again), and Kat finds a ring in the midst of the bone piles.
There were two children not quite dead found in that room also. Time to rest.
Thus ends another good night of gaming. Well done, Kimba, Kristin, and Matthew.
Happy One Year Anniversary to the Gamers!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
June Adventures at Sea
I wanted to get something up here while I still remembered anything, even though I have no notes, I'm giving it a shot, bear with me.
These are the things I remember from this adventure:
Mercutio decides for some reason to turn himself in to the sheriff's office, I missed most of this interchange, but the Captain didn't help him, and Andromeda fed his owl. Willow was in the tavern gathering information ranger style.
The Druid met a guy out in the wilderness who would travel with them halfway home, safety in numbers sort of thing. The others assume he is simply Andromeda's latest conquest, failing to realize there's something different about Teowynn.
The boat was attacked by a couple of similar creatures as before. Then a pirate ship attacked, the captain immediately ordered the druid to become an octopus and tear at the bottom of the ship. The sorcerer flew around for a while, captain fired ballistas, Willow increased some stats, and the lion & wolverine crouched waiting for a pirate to set foot on deck.
On to the much better recap from our talented if not timely D&D Scribe:
June 13, 2009 - On the high seas
The seafaring party had reached their destination of Port Tolie, to load up on "good iron" to take back to the city of Prymp. This loading and preparing freed up our trusty Company as they pursued their own interest around town. Mercutio the Sorcerer was especially facing a sticky dilemma. You see, he had just reduced a fairly innocent half-orc to a puddle of goo. For no real apparent reason. He was reminded of the fact that he is of LAWFUL NEUTRAL alignment.
So, he decided to turn himself in. Conversation goes something like this:
Merc: (tearfully) So, yes, I did it. (he reaches into his robes, an attempt to cast Charm Person)
Sheriff: What are you doing?
Merc: Uh, checking my magic.
Sheriff: You need to stop that.
Merc: Wait a minute.
Mercutio is thrown in jail for the night, put under the custody of Bella, and essentially asked to never return to the town.
Meanwhile, Willow the Ranger has spent the last day out and about gathering information about the evil bandit tribe rumors. Andromeda the Druid has a "Twilight-esque" interlude (think meadows) with another druid named Taewynn. The crew he's with is having pirate attack issues as well, so it looks like they'll be accompanying Andromeda's party back to Blue, where they'll head back for their home of Safeton. Captain Bella, having just stolen her lover's money pouch after a night of hot sex, okays this arrangement.
And so we are off! Next stop is the port of Gradsul!
Battles Recap:
1. Two sea dinosaurs
a. One goes for the Captain's wheel, is then slayed by lightning bolt and arrow rainstorm.
b. Bella and Andromeda take major damage and are hurtin'.
c. Willow gets a major ouchie after being bit, and Taewynn kills the second sea dino.
2. Swarm of sea wasps (6)
a. Mercutio casts ice storm on the whole lot. More arrows and sword-swinging ensues.
b. Willow is stung and poisoned.
c. 500 gold pieces is bestowed to each member party by the benevolent, snickerdoodle-loving DM.
d. OOG: Simon the puppy receives a lecture from Andrew about chewing on his Mt. Dew bottle.
3. Dragon Turtle
a. Andromeda goes "Octopussy".
b. An uncomfortable silence after discussion about a "morc" - a cross-breed between merfolk and orcs...thus creating the perfect favored enemy for Willow.
c. Many shots, tentacle whipping, and another ice storm.
d. Musings about this topic: Could dragon turtle/giant octopus sex indeed be possible?
e. Willow does a ginormous 'Six Million Dollar Man' jump onto turtle's back.
f. Mercutio summons a mephit (aka muppet), who then frostbites the turtle's eyeballs. This is appreciated by all as it lowers the turtle's Armor Class, making it easier to hit.
After the DT dies, the party is hit by the leveling beam TWICE. Much reveling (and leveling) ensues. Three of the party members take a prestige class to join Captain Bella, who is already a Rogue/Dread Pirate.
Andromeda: Druid/Deepwoods Sniper
Willow: Ranger/Bloodhound
Mercutio: Sorcerer/Dragon Disciple
Continuing onwards, Fizz the owl spots an oncoming ship - PIRATES! Andromeda morphes into a giant octopus and essentially rips the ship in half. Other members of the party applaud from the deck, although Willow gets a shot off on someone who looks like the captain. As he slumps over, dead, the other escaping pirates dump his body overboard.
The ship is looted as it sinks. The rest of the journey is uneventful, the Nightshade (and others) reach the port of Gradsul, and the adventure is over for the night.
These are the things I remember from this adventure:
Mercutio decides for some reason to turn himself in to the sheriff's office, I missed most of this interchange, but the Captain didn't help him, and Andromeda fed his owl. Willow was in the tavern gathering information ranger style.
The Druid met a guy out in the wilderness who would travel with them halfway home, safety in numbers sort of thing. The others assume he is simply Andromeda's latest conquest, failing to realize there's something different about Teowynn.
The boat was attacked by a couple of similar creatures as before. Then a pirate ship attacked, the captain immediately ordered the druid to become an octopus and tear at the bottom of the ship. The sorcerer flew around for a while, captain fired ballistas, Willow increased some stats, and the lion & wolverine crouched waiting for a pirate to set foot on deck.
On to the much better recap from our talented if not timely D&D Scribe:
June 13, 2009 - On the high seas
The seafaring party had reached their destination of Port Tolie, to load up on "good iron" to take back to the city of Prymp. This loading and preparing freed up our trusty Company as they pursued their own interest around town. Mercutio the Sorcerer was especially facing a sticky dilemma. You see, he had just reduced a fairly innocent half-orc to a puddle of goo. For no real apparent reason. He was reminded of the fact that he is of LAWFUL NEUTRAL alignment.
So, he decided to turn himself in. Conversation goes something like this:
Merc: (tearfully) So, yes, I did it. (he reaches into his robes, an attempt to cast Charm Person)
Sheriff: What are you doing?
Merc: Uh, checking my magic.
Sheriff: You need to stop that.
Merc: Wait a minute.
Mercutio is thrown in jail for the night, put under the custody of Bella, and essentially asked to never return to the town.
Meanwhile, Willow the Ranger has spent the last day out and about gathering information about the evil bandit tribe rumors. Andromeda the Druid has a "Twilight-esque" interlude (think meadows) with another druid named Taewynn. The crew he's with is having pirate attack issues as well, so it looks like they'll be accompanying Andromeda's party back to Blue, where they'll head back for their home of Safeton. Captain Bella, having just stolen her lover's money pouch after a night of hot sex, okays this arrangement.
And so we are off! Next stop is the port of Gradsul!
Battles Recap:
1. Two sea dinosaurs
a. One goes for the Captain's wheel, is then slayed by lightning bolt and arrow rainstorm.
b. Bella and Andromeda take major damage and are hurtin'.
c. Willow gets a major ouchie after being bit, and Taewynn kills the second sea dino.
2. Swarm of sea wasps (6)
a. Mercutio casts ice storm on the whole lot. More arrows and sword-swinging ensues.
b. Willow is stung and poisoned.
c. 500 gold pieces is bestowed to each member party by the benevolent, snickerdoodle-loving DM.
d. OOG: Simon the puppy receives a lecture from Andrew about chewing on his Mt. Dew bottle.
3. Dragon Turtle
a. Andromeda goes "Octopussy".
b. An uncomfortable silence after discussion about a "morc" - a cross-breed between merfolk and orcs...thus creating the perfect favored enemy for Willow.
c. Many shots, tentacle whipping, and another ice storm.
d. Musings about this topic: Could dragon turtle/giant octopus sex indeed be possible?
e. Willow does a ginormous 'Six Million Dollar Man' jump onto turtle's back.
f. Mercutio summons a mephit (aka muppet), who then frostbites the turtle's eyeballs. This is appreciated by all as it lowers the turtle's Armor Class, making it easier to hit.
After the DT dies, the party is hit by the leveling beam TWICE. Much reveling (and leveling) ensues. Three of the party members take a prestige class to join Captain Bella, who is already a Rogue/Dread Pirate.
Andromeda: Druid/Deepwoods Sniper
Willow: Ranger/Bloodhound
Mercutio: Sorcerer/Dragon Disciple
Continuing onwards, Fizz the owl spots an oncoming ship - PIRATES! Andromeda morphes into a giant octopus and essentially rips the ship in half. Other members of the party applaud from the deck, although Willow gets a shot off on someone who looks like the captain. As he slumps over, dead, the other escaping pirates dump his body overboard.
The ship is looted as it sinks. The rest of the journey is uneventful, the Nightshade (and others) reach the port of Gradsul, and the adventure is over for the night.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Adventures at Sea Part 2 (Same Session)
Still Willow...
My apologies for cutting the D&D adventure in half. It takes a long time to type, you know. At last check, this adventure covered seven and a half pages.
Anyway, upwards and onwards.
Let's see.
Captain Bella's chakram is safe and sound. At some point here that is very fuzzy in my notes, there appears to be a minor scuffle between the rogue and the sorcerer, which goes something like this...
Sorcerer: You're not the boss of me.
Rogue: *Makes threatening, advancing gesture with rope*
Sorc: *Casts Invisibility on himself and kicks rogue in the behind*
Rog: *Takes rope and whips it around in the general direction of butt-kick and source of Mercutio's voice*
Sorc: Ouch! She whipped me!
End of conflict.
Sailing continues until Fizz alerts party again to another sea creature. First glimpses give party a giant snake-like feel to the monster. Party assumes BA fighting pose a la Charlie's Angels. Through a dynamic group effort, the sea dinosaur is slayed. Many references to the end of Pirates of the Caribbean 2 are made (particularly when Johnny Depp leaps willingly into the maw of the Kraken).
Party arrives safely at the port of Blue. All ships intact. Captain sees a definite need to procure some throwing weapons (i.e. javelins) and a crossbow for herself. The druid and sorcerer head off the local inn/tavern to satisfy carnal desires. Both of them go about it in relatively different ways:
1. Druid - Search check turns up an Elf in the bar (Andromeda is picky, only pureblood elves for her tonight). Her first pickup line is somewhat unsuccessful due to a low Charisma roll, but the He-Elf is at least amenable to a glass of elven wine. Very quickly after that first glass's consumption, the He-Elf (on the spot named Legolas - quick thinking, DM!) is a very willing companion to the druid, who wishes to show him "her ship."
2. Sorcerer - In a secluded corner of the bar, Mercutio casts Invisibility on himself, strides out to the middle of the tavern, and then casts Dancing Lights. Bar patrons are now freaking out due to a sudden disco-esque display of whirling lights and colors, coming from what seems to be nowhere. To add to the effect, the sorcerer also adds a ghostly "whooooooo" noise. He then informs the DM he wants to search the room for the best-looking, yet most terrified, female in the room, because he plans to "comfort" her. A very decent Charisma roll on Mercutio's part totally impels the bar wench to accompany him back to the ship.
I'm sure you are seeing, as I did, the probable likelihood of these two parties hell-bent on boning somebody running into each other en route to the ship. Luckily, for all horny parties involved, that did not happen. However, some other strange things did...
1. Mercutio gets wench back to the ship and has a decision to make. Since his quarters are VERY public, it would be quite embarrassing to take the pretty barmaid down below deck and engage in a sex act with 160 crew members watching. He makes the following decision: cast Invisibility on himself AND the wench, lead her to the Captain's Wheel, and proceed to please her and himself in the general vicinity of Captain Bella's sacred steering mechanism. To add to the excitement, the invisibility spell wears off in roughly seven minutes. Your typical quickie.
Some confusion here ensues. Other party members wonder: if the wench is invisible, isn't the sorcerer missing out on seeing her hot body? After all, the DM states the maid is "80% attractive". The sorcerer's reply: 80% attractive + 100% invisible = IMAGINATION. Touche.
2. The Captain has finished purchasing items for the ship and is heading back. The ranger finishes her drinks and is approaching the ship as well (sans sex partner).
You may be asking yourself...in the words of Uncle Andy: How does this not end badly?
3. Indeed, as might be expected, upon arrival, Captain Bella sees and hears strange activity coming from her wheel. She alerts Willow, and they both go to investigate. Sure enough, the invisibility spell wears off, and the rogue and the ranger are now gazing upon a post-coital Mercutio and random barwench.
4. Captain Bella is pissed that her holy wheel has been defiled, and succeeds in engaging innocent barwench in a grapple, thus chucking the naked lady overboard. She then attempts same grapple on Mercutio, but fails (probably due to his sweaty, naked flesh). The sorcerer turns to lower a rope to his sodden bedfellow and is then handily tipped overboard by the rogue's sneak attack.
5. As the two lust partners do Swim checks, Captain Bella announces "No wenching on my ship!" to the gathered crew...and then promptly does an volte-face amidst 160 potentially horny males and tones it down to "No wenching on deck or on my wheel!"
6. When Mercutio ascends (with soggy barmaid), he apologizes and then proceeds to cast Charm Person on the rogue. A failed Will save by the Captain significantly lessens her anger towards the sorcerer. The charmed Captain now allows Mercutio to wench in "Designated Wenching Areas." Subsequent discussion ensues about whether or not 'DWA' signs should be posted for the crew (and Mercutio's) benefit. No clear solution was reached.
7. In the time all this is happening, Andromeda and Legolas have managed to have carnal knowledge of each other and snuck off the ship to avoid detection as well. Andromeda returns in the early hours of the morning, appearing to look refreshed after her "meditations". It is totally unclear what has happened to Mercutio's wench. Maybe she died of the ague.
Time to set sail. The next port stop is Gradsul.
Another Fizz alarm soon after embarkation: five sea hags. Because the sea hags are so heinously ugly, the whole party rolls Fortitude saves. Bella and Mercutio fail and lose -6 on their Strength score. The sea bitches are so ugly...Bella and Mercutio are weakened just by looking at them. Later on in the battle, Mercutio is put out of commission by a hag who casts her Evil Eye on him...leaving him dazed and drooling, prone on the ground. The rest of the party successfully kill the sea hags, with the spectacular ending of the druid completely taking a hag's head off with a perfectly placed (and critically rolled) arrow right between the eyes. Willow brings Mercutio around with some holy water, but he will still be weak (and unable to perform any sex acts) for some time.
Arrival in Gradsul is uneventful. Party is touched by magical leveling beam. The ranger is excited to learn she can upgrade to a new animal companion, so she chooses a wolverine. However, ethical dilemma - how does she get rid of her current wolf, Moonfoot?
No problem! The roleplay of that particular episode went something like this:
Ranger: Is there a vet or animal doctor in town?
DM: Ummm, yes. That way (generic nod toss).
Walk, walk, walk.
Ranger: Hello. I think there's a problem with my wolf. He seems apathetic. He doesn't fight; he is not involved with my adventure much in any way.
DM: Pause. So, are you worried he may be getting up there in years?
Rgr: Um. Pause. Yes.
DM: From what I can see, he appears to be very old.
Rgr: OK, is there a safe haven I can take him to? An animal sanctuary? A no-kill shelter?
DM: Pause. Uhh...
DRUID INTERJECTS: I can perform a ritual to release him into the wild.
DM: Do you happen to know any druids?
Rgr: Yes! (Thinks: Wasn't that convenient?)
Willow leaves, locates Andromeda, who does the deed and suddenly Moonfoot has been downsized, let go, fired, pink slipped...
Rgr: Hi, Vet guy, I'm back. Do you have any wolverines? (OOG: the rogue makes a Hugh Jackman-esque "X-men" gesture)
DM: Uh. On the edge of town is an animal sanctuary...they might have one there...
DRUID INTERJECTS: I can find you one in the wild.
DM: Do you happen to know a druid?
Rgr: Yes.
Having a druid find you a new companion is very similar to a job interview. Remember, Andromeda can talk to animals. The DM does a very good job of translating wolverine into Common. Important questions the ranger wants answered include:
- Who's looking for adventure?
- Who's afraid of water/ships?
- Who will be loyal and protective?
- Who doesn't mind leaving their families behind?
- Who doesn't have any special needs/accomodations that will bog the party down?
In the end, a lone female proves to be the sole recipient of the honor of being Willow's companion. The druid performs the bonding ritual and the ranger leaves her naming to another day. Also, for another day, the druid shall continue the search for another "Legolas" at the next port town - Gryax.
Cheers to another successful gaming go! Nerds Rule!
My apologies for cutting the D&D adventure in half. It takes a long time to type, you know. At last check, this adventure covered seven and a half pages.
Anyway, upwards and onwards.
Let's see.
Captain Bella's chakram is safe and sound. At some point here that is very fuzzy in my notes, there appears to be a minor scuffle between the rogue and the sorcerer, which goes something like this...
Sorcerer: You're not the boss of me.
Rogue: *Makes threatening, advancing gesture with rope*
Sorc: *Casts Invisibility on himself and kicks rogue in the behind*
Rog: *Takes rope and whips it around in the general direction of butt-kick and source of Mercutio's voice*
Sorc: Ouch! She whipped me!
End of conflict.
Sailing continues until Fizz alerts party again to another sea creature. First glimpses give party a giant snake-like feel to the monster. Party assumes BA fighting pose a la Charlie's Angels. Through a dynamic group effort, the sea dinosaur is slayed. Many references to the end of Pirates of the Caribbean 2 are made (particularly when Johnny Depp leaps willingly into the maw of the Kraken).
Party arrives safely at the port of Blue. All ships intact. Captain sees a definite need to procure some throwing weapons (i.e. javelins) and a crossbow for herself. The druid and sorcerer head off the local inn/tavern to satisfy carnal desires. Both of them go about it in relatively different ways:
1. Druid - Search check turns up an Elf in the bar (Andromeda is picky, only pureblood elves for her tonight). Her first pickup line is somewhat unsuccessful due to a low Charisma roll, but the He-Elf is at least amenable to a glass of elven wine. Very quickly after that first glass's consumption, the He-Elf (on the spot named Legolas - quick thinking, DM!) is a very willing companion to the druid, who wishes to show him "her ship."
2. Sorcerer - In a secluded corner of the bar, Mercutio casts Invisibility on himself, strides out to the middle of the tavern, and then casts Dancing Lights. Bar patrons are now freaking out due to a sudden disco-esque display of whirling lights and colors, coming from what seems to be nowhere. To add to the effect, the sorcerer also adds a ghostly "whooooooo" noise. He then informs the DM he wants to search the room for the best-looking, yet most terrified, female in the room, because he plans to "comfort" her. A very decent Charisma roll on Mercutio's part totally impels the bar wench to accompany him back to the ship.
I'm sure you are seeing, as I did, the probable likelihood of these two parties hell-bent on boning somebody running into each other en route to the ship. Luckily, for all horny parties involved, that did not happen. However, some other strange things did...
1. Mercutio gets wench back to the ship and has a decision to make. Since his quarters are VERY public, it would be quite embarrassing to take the pretty barmaid down below deck and engage in a sex act with 160 crew members watching. He makes the following decision: cast Invisibility on himself AND the wench, lead her to the Captain's Wheel, and proceed to please her and himself in the general vicinity of Captain Bella's sacred steering mechanism. To add to the excitement, the invisibility spell wears off in roughly seven minutes. Your typical quickie.
Some confusion here ensues. Other party members wonder: if the wench is invisible, isn't the sorcerer missing out on seeing her hot body? After all, the DM states the maid is "80% attractive". The sorcerer's reply: 80% attractive + 100% invisible = IMAGINATION. Touche.
2. The Captain has finished purchasing items for the ship and is heading back. The ranger finishes her drinks and is approaching the ship as well (sans sex partner).
You may be asking yourself...in the words of Uncle Andy: How does this not end badly?
3. Indeed, as might be expected, upon arrival, Captain Bella sees and hears strange activity coming from her wheel. She alerts Willow, and they both go to investigate. Sure enough, the invisibility spell wears off, and the rogue and the ranger are now gazing upon a post-coital Mercutio and random barwench.
4. Captain Bella is pissed that her holy wheel has been defiled, and succeeds in engaging innocent barwench in a grapple, thus chucking the naked lady overboard. She then attempts same grapple on Mercutio, but fails (probably due to his sweaty, naked flesh). The sorcerer turns to lower a rope to his sodden bedfellow and is then handily tipped overboard by the rogue's sneak attack.
5. As the two lust partners do Swim checks, Captain Bella announces "No wenching on my ship!" to the gathered crew...and then promptly does an volte-face amidst 160 potentially horny males and tones it down to "No wenching on deck or on my wheel!"
6. When Mercutio ascends (with soggy barmaid), he apologizes and then proceeds to cast Charm Person on the rogue. A failed Will save by the Captain significantly lessens her anger towards the sorcerer. The charmed Captain now allows Mercutio to wench in "Designated Wenching Areas." Subsequent discussion ensues about whether or not 'DWA' signs should be posted for the crew (and Mercutio's) benefit. No clear solution was reached.
7. In the time all this is happening, Andromeda and Legolas have managed to have carnal knowledge of each other and snuck off the ship to avoid detection as well. Andromeda returns in the early hours of the morning, appearing to look refreshed after her "meditations". It is totally unclear what has happened to Mercutio's wench. Maybe she died of the ague.
Time to set sail. The next port stop is Gradsul.
Another Fizz alarm soon after embarkation: five sea hags. Because the sea hags are so heinously ugly, the whole party rolls Fortitude saves. Bella and Mercutio fail and lose -6 on their Strength score. The sea bitches are so ugly...Bella and Mercutio are weakened just by looking at them. Later on in the battle, Mercutio is put out of commission by a hag who casts her Evil Eye on him...leaving him dazed and drooling, prone on the ground. The rest of the party successfully kill the sea hags, with the spectacular ending of the druid completely taking a hag's head off with a perfectly placed (and critically rolled) arrow right between the eyes. Willow brings Mercutio around with some holy water, but he will still be weak (and unable to perform any sex acts) for some time.
Arrival in Gradsul is uneventful. Party is touched by magical leveling beam. The ranger is excited to learn she can upgrade to a new animal companion, so she chooses a wolverine. However, ethical dilemma - how does she get rid of her current wolf, Moonfoot?
No problem! The roleplay of that particular episode went something like this:
Ranger: Is there a vet or animal doctor in town?
DM: Ummm, yes. That way (generic nod toss).
Walk, walk, walk.
Ranger: Hello. I think there's a problem with my wolf. He seems apathetic. He doesn't fight; he is not involved with my adventure much in any way.
DM: Pause. So, are you worried he may be getting up there in years?
Rgr: Um. Pause. Yes.
DM: From what I can see, he appears to be very old.
Rgr: OK, is there a safe haven I can take him to? An animal sanctuary? A no-kill shelter?
DM: Pause. Uhh...
DRUID INTERJECTS: I can perform a ritual to release him into the wild.
DM: Do you happen to know any druids?
Rgr: Yes! (Thinks: Wasn't that convenient?)
Willow leaves, locates Andromeda, who does the deed and suddenly Moonfoot has been downsized, let go, fired, pink slipped...
Rgr: Hi, Vet guy, I'm back. Do you have any wolverines? (OOG: the rogue makes a Hugh Jackman-esque "X-men" gesture)
DM: Uh. On the edge of town is an animal sanctuary...they might have one there...
DRUID INTERJECTS: I can find you one in the wild.
DM: Do you happen to know a druid?
Rgr: Yes.
Having a druid find you a new companion is very similar to a job interview. Remember, Andromeda can talk to animals. The DM does a very good job of translating wolverine into Common. Important questions the ranger wants answered include:
- Who's looking for adventure?
- Who's afraid of water/ships?
- Who will be loyal and protective?
- Who doesn't mind leaving their families behind?
- Who doesn't have any special needs/accomodations that will bog the party down?
In the end, a lone female proves to be the sole recipient of the honor of being Willow's companion. The druid performs the bonding ritual and the ranger leaves her naming to another day. Also, for another day, the druid shall continue the search for another "Legolas" at the next port town - Gryax.
Cheers to another successful gaming go! Nerds Rule!
Adventures at Sea
Willow's Writings:
Avast ye scallywags!
It was yet another D&D gathering last night...however, it wasn't I, or Mrs. Tiki, at the helm of the evening's events...it was none other than...
Captain Tiki.
To quickly summarize, Brent and I have been playing D&D for almost a year now. We toyed around with it in high school, and have rediscovered the game after a decade and a half. The Capt. DMed the very first adventure we all began together last June (July?). When winter rolled around, the Capt. became busy and his wife, Mrs. Tiki, took over, and then soon, Brent and I captained our own adventures with this very group.
What a strange, long trip it's been. The Capt. is back in action.
First of all, he regaled us with good news: we all magically had leveled up to 7th level (we were currently at 4th). We could power up our characters at will. Second, it would behoove us to take some ranks in Swimming. Hmmmm...
Armed with that information, we convened yesterday afternoon in hopes for some good D&D fun.
Party Stats:
Me: Willow - A laconic half-elf Ranger (Companion: Moonfoot the Wolf)
Kerri: Andromeda - A haughty elven Druid (Companion: Aslan the Lion)
Kimba: Bella - A pirate-dreaming human Rogue (Companion: Elliot the Horse)
Brent: Mercutio - An exhibitionist half-elf Sorcerer (Companion: Fizz the Owl)
This party had completed a couple of missions in the town of Pitchfield in the recent past, and now had been commissioned by Thorgrin the Dwarf to command a galley, escort of five cargo ships, across the Azure Sea to Hells Furnaces, the location of a good, rich iron. In recent times, the iron in the Pitchfield area had proven unusable - for unknown reasons (a mission perhaps for a later time). Thus, Hells Furnaces' iron has become a hot commodity, shipped to Pitchfield from Port Tolie.
The problem? The last shipment of said iron failed to reach its destination, due to rumors of attacks from pirates and sea monstrosities.
Our job? To command the brand-spankin-new galley ship that would escort the five cargo ships to Port Tolie. There, the ships would load up on iron, and we would then bring the full cargo ships back to the port town of Prymp (a three-day journey from Pitchfield). Our brains and brawn would be responsible for delivering safely a shipment of usable iron. Later, our missions might include discovering the source of the bad iron and beyond that, taking out a bad guy named Sortag, responsible for the rising of bandit-related crimes in the area.
To begin? Head to the city of Prymp and locate a dwarf named Bailin, to be found down at the harbor. There, we would find our new as-of-yet-unnamed ship to begin our journey.
Perhaps it is noteworthy to mention here that our party's rogue entertains dreams of becoming a dread pirate and, in fact, has a detailed plan laid out to make those dreams a reality. Acquiring a ship was first in those plans...and naturally, the rest of us had not much experience on the sea and were willing to let her commandeer the ship. As a matter of fact, the sorcerer (Mercutio) put it to the rogue (Bella) succinctly thus...
"You're partially a pirate..." (which is really not true, but the sorcerer has 18 Charisma, so who were we to argue?) In addition, the rogue is the only one of us with any skills in Sailing. So yeah, the deal is sealed.
After Thorgrin's instructions, we headed off to the merchant's store (pointed out to us by a general DM head toss). Major purchases included Swimmer's Kits and jewelry for the lion and owl. Mercutio spent some time poking fun of the lion's necklace, until it was pointed out that his owl was wearing a dorky anklet...a fact his high Charisma was unable to cover.
One (of many) nice things about leveling up so high is that the druid (Andromeda) now has the skill (with the use of a sweet torc) to talk to all animals. It's a detail that doesn't seem important at the time...but we're not long out of the city of Pitchfield before Fizz alerts Mercutio (and Andromeda as well) that danger lies ahead...in the form of three giant wasps.
OOG: It is discussed that if three giant wasps were ever encountered in real-life, most of the party would probably soil themselves before engaging in battle.
Soon, the wasps come into view, and Andromeda takes aim, fires....and critically fumbles her bow shot. Fortunately, no PERSON was hurt, but unfortunately, Fizz (flying like an owl out of hell back to the party) takes five points of arrow damage. Andromeda apologizes to Fizz through the use of her Animal Speaking torc. It is unclear at this time if Fizz accepts the apology; he appears to be a resident of Ouchland.
The wasps swoop and barely miss Mercutio and Willow with their two-foot stingers. Between Aslan's mighty swipe and Willow's critical hit (totally skewering a wasp), the nasty insects quickly become a happy memory. The rest of the trip to Prymp passes uneventfully. Upon reaching the city, Bailin is located in record time, and an interesting discussion soon ensues. I have included below the paraphrased transcript.
Bailin: So. Here's your brand new ship. It's a bunch of feet long by about twenty feet wide. Roughly a crew of 200 await your command. This ship is so new, it doesn't even have a name.
Mercutio: I have an idea. "Titan". Because one of my main goals in life is to locate the "Maul of the Titans". And, you know, kinda like Titanic, except not?
Cricket. Cricket. Cricket. We all look to Captain Bella for a better answer.
Bella: I've got the name of the ship. The Nightshade.
Willow: Isn't that a poisonous plant?
Andromeda: It's especially dangerous to the human.
Bella: Exactly. It's deadly.
So, The Nightshade it is. Captain Bella is now responsible for assigning the rest of the party to ship positions. After some discussion, Internet searching, and barbecued pork sandwiches, the following clarifications are made:
Cabin Boy: Mercutio (He later becomes known as "Powder Monkey" because it's a cool-sounding position. However, it is the job with the highest life-risk factor.)
Boatswain/Quartermaster: Andromeda (A jack-of-all-trades, this position is primarily responsible for marshaling/maintaining the crew, issuing orders, keeping the ship running, etc.)
First Mate: Willow (Pretty much a figurehead position. I take over if Bella is incapacitated. Think Danny Zuko to Kenickie in the car race in "Grease.")
It's not too long here before someone makes the inevitable joke:
"Heh. We're among a bunch of seamen."
Anyway, Bailin informs us The Nightshade leaves tomorrow at high tide. Whenever that is.
The night passes. Relatively soon after boarding and embarking, Mercutio repairs to the below deck to remove his clothes and cast Mage Armor on himself...a habit he seems to have retained from our last adventures. Jokingly, now, we refer to him as the Boatswain, as he can be in charge of crew morale by stripping naked for them. Let's keep in mind that Mercutio has no private quarters, and so has an audience for every single act he commits below deck. A good thing to know for later...
It is not long before Fizz the owl (recovered, at lookout) alerts the party to a group of five creatures not far ahead. Willow begins foaming at the mouth in a fit of rage when she discovers they are SAHAUGIN (aquatic humanoids - which is her second favored enemy. That means she gets all kinds of bonuses against them). Captain Bella, however, critically fumbles her first attack, a chakram throw, and the weapon falls into the water...much to its owner's dismay. A crew member is dispatched to retrieve it, but alas, rolls a poor Dive/Swim check and is unable to fetch the weapon. The sorcerer has a brainchild and sends his owl to grab the weapon (not quite sinking yet). Fizz is able to grab the chakram, but is unable to fly himself back to the ship's deck. So, there the poor little owl hovers, a heavy metal circle weapon in his talons. The aforementioned crew member is ordered to hustle back down the rope and retrieve both owl and weapon. Another poor Swim check on the crewman's part lands him back in the sea. The rope is relowered. Crewman and owl and chakram rescue is successfully done.
And thus ends Part One. Please flip the album over and continue on with Part Two.
Avast ye scallywags!
It was yet another D&D gathering last night...however, it wasn't I, or Mrs. Tiki, at the helm of the evening's events...it was none other than...
Captain Tiki.
To quickly summarize, Brent and I have been playing D&D for almost a year now. We toyed around with it in high school, and have rediscovered the game after a decade and a half. The Capt. DMed the very first adventure we all began together last June (July?). When winter rolled around, the Capt. became busy and his wife, Mrs. Tiki, took over, and then soon, Brent and I captained our own adventures with this very group.
What a strange, long trip it's been. The Capt. is back in action.
First of all, he regaled us with good news: we all magically had leveled up to 7th level (we were currently at 4th). We could power up our characters at will. Second, it would behoove us to take some ranks in Swimming. Hmmmm...
Armed with that information, we convened yesterday afternoon in hopes for some good D&D fun.
Party Stats:
Me: Willow - A laconic half-elf Ranger (Companion: Moonfoot the Wolf)
Kerri: Andromeda - A haughty elven Druid (Companion: Aslan the Lion)
Kimba: Bella - A pirate-dreaming human Rogue (Companion: Elliot the Horse)
Brent: Mercutio - An exhibitionist half-elf Sorcerer (Companion: Fizz the Owl)
This party had completed a couple of missions in the town of Pitchfield in the recent past, and now had been commissioned by Thorgrin the Dwarf to command a galley, escort of five cargo ships, across the Azure Sea to Hells Furnaces, the location of a good, rich iron. In recent times, the iron in the Pitchfield area had proven unusable - for unknown reasons (a mission perhaps for a later time). Thus, Hells Furnaces' iron has become a hot commodity, shipped to Pitchfield from Port Tolie.
The problem? The last shipment of said iron failed to reach its destination, due to rumors of attacks from pirates and sea monstrosities.
Our job? To command the brand-spankin-new galley ship that would escort the five cargo ships to Port Tolie. There, the ships would load up on iron, and we would then bring the full cargo ships back to the port town of Prymp (a three-day journey from Pitchfield). Our brains and brawn would be responsible for delivering safely a shipment of usable iron. Later, our missions might include discovering the source of the bad iron and beyond that, taking out a bad guy named Sortag, responsible for the rising of bandit-related crimes in the area.
To begin? Head to the city of Prymp and locate a dwarf named Bailin, to be found down at the harbor. There, we would find our new as-of-yet-unnamed ship to begin our journey.
Perhaps it is noteworthy to mention here that our party's rogue entertains dreams of becoming a dread pirate and, in fact, has a detailed plan laid out to make those dreams a reality. Acquiring a ship was first in those plans...and naturally, the rest of us had not much experience on the sea and were willing to let her commandeer the ship. As a matter of fact, the sorcerer (Mercutio) put it to the rogue (Bella) succinctly thus...
"You're partially a pirate..." (which is really not true, but the sorcerer has 18 Charisma, so who were we to argue?) In addition, the rogue is the only one of us with any skills in Sailing. So yeah, the deal is sealed.
After Thorgrin's instructions, we headed off to the merchant's store (pointed out to us by a general DM head toss). Major purchases included Swimmer's Kits and jewelry for the lion and owl. Mercutio spent some time poking fun of the lion's necklace, until it was pointed out that his owl was wearing a dorky anklet...a fact his high Charisma was unable to cover.
One (of many) nice things about leveling up so high is that the druid (Andromeda) now has the skill (with the use of a sweet torc) to talk to all animals. It's a detail that doesn't seem important at the time...but we're not long out of the city of Pitchfield before Fizz alerts Mercutio (and Andromeda as well) that danger lies ahead...in the form of three giant wasps.
OOG: It is discussed that if three giant wasps were ever encountered in real-life, most of the party would probably soil themselves before engaging in battle.
Soon, the wasps come into view, and Andromeda takes aim, fires....and critically fumbles her bow shot. Fortunately, no PERSON was hurt, but unfortunately, Fizz (flying like an owl out of hell back to the party) takes five points of arrow damage. Andromeda apologizes to Fizz through the use of her Animal Speaking torc. It is unclear at this time if Fizz accepts the apology; he appears to be a resident of Ouchland.
The wasps swoop and barely miss Mercutio and Willow with their two-foot stingers. Between Aslan's mighty swipe and Willow's critical hit (totally skewering a wasp), the nasty insects quickly become a happy memory. The rest of the trip to Prymp passes uneventfully. Upon reaching the city, Bailin is located in record time, and an interesting discussion soon ensues. I have included below the paraphrased transcript.
Bailin: So. Here's your brand new ship. It's a bunch of feet long by about twenty feet wide. Roughly a crew of 200 await your command. This ship is so new, it doesn't even have a name.
Mercutio: I have an idea. "Titan". Because one of my main goals in life is to locate the "Maul of the Titans". And, you know, kinda like Titanic, except not?
Cricket. Cricket. Cricket. We all look to Captain Bella for a better answer.
Bella: I've got the name of the ship. The Nightshade.
Willow: Isn't that a poisonous plant?
Andromeda: It's especially dangerous to the human.
Bella: Exactly. It's deadly.
So, The Nightshade it is. Captain Bella is now responsible for assigning the rest of the party to ship positions. After some discussion, Internet searching, and barbecued pork sandwiches, the following clarifications are made:
Cabin Boy: Mercutio (He later becomes known as "Powder Monkey" because it's a cool-sounding position. However, it is the job with the highest life-risk factor.)
Boatswain/Quartermaster: Andromeda (A jack-of-all-trades, this position is primarily responsible for marshaling/maintaining the crew, issuing orders, keeping the ship running, etc.)
First Mate: Willow (Pretty much a figurehead position. I take over if Bella is incapacitated. Think Danny Zuko to Kenickie in the car race in "Grease.")
It's not too long here before someone makes the inevitable joke:
"Heh. We're among a bunch of seamen."
Anyway, Bailin informs us The Nightshade leaves tomorrow at high tide. Whenever that is.
The night passes. Relatively soon after boarding and embarking, Mercutio repairs to the below deck to remove his clothes and cast Mage Armor on himself...a habit he seems to have retained from our last adventures. Jokingly, now, we refer to him as the Boatswain, as he can be in charge of crew morale by stripping naked for them. Let's keep in mind that Mercutio has no private quarters, and so has an audience for every single act he commits below deck. A good thing to know for later...
It is not long before Fizz the owl (recovered, at lookout) alerts the party to a group of five creatures not far ahead. Willow begins foaming at the mouth in a fit of rage when she discovers they are SAHAUGIN (aquatic humanoids - which is her second favored enemy. That means she gets all kinds of bonuses against them). Captain Bella, however, critically fumbles her first attack, a chakram throw, and the weapon falls into the water...much to its owner's dismay. A crew member is dispatched to retrieve it, but alas, rolls a poor Dive/Swim check and is unable to fetch the weapon. The sorcerer has a brainchild and sends his owl to grab the weapon (not quite sinking yet). Fizz is able to grab the chakram, but is unable to fly himself back to the ship's deck. So, there the poor little owl hovers, a heavy metal circle weapon in his talons. The aforementioned crew member is ordered to hustle back down the rope and retrieve both owl and weapon. Another poor Swim check on the crewman's part lands him back in the sea. The rope is relowered. Crewman and owl and chakram rescue is successfully done.
And thus ends Part One. Please flip the album over and continue on with Part Two.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Rescuing Princess Florissa - ct'd
From the Desk of Lola
From the adventure last Saturday. I've taken a bit of a break as the DM, and now Mrs. Tiki has taken over for awhile.
In her quest, the band of fearless D&D adventurers are on a rescue mission of the beautiful Princess Florissa. The castle boasts many children's story-themed rooms, along with many dangers and mysteries.
Party members include:
Boof the half-orc barbarian (Brent)
Rana the half-elf fighter (Kimba)
Qui the half-elf monk (Capt)
Lola the gnome cleric (Yours Truly)
At this point in time, the party is about to descend (I think) down a wooden staircase. Upon opening the door at the bottom, a large tree is standing in the middle of the room, and Spot checks all around detect branches laden with yellowish fruit. Boof is easily convinced by Lola to eat one of the fruit, and nothing happens. Rana spots footholds at the base of the tree and begins the climb into...
HARPY HELL!
After screaming "No cure for Harpies!" to the others below, Rana enters into combat, taking some claw damage in the process. During this fracas, two harpies fly off and begin an attack on Boof the barbarian and Qui the monk - this ends badly (for the harpies) for a couple different reasons.
1. Although Harpy #1 was able to pull Boof off of the tree he was climbing, she was beaten in a grapple by him, thus resulting in a harpy unable to disengage herself from a meaty 6'3" half-orc. Once she sank to the ground under the sheer heft, she was thoroughly pounded by a really ticked off barbarian.
2. Obviously wanting to get in on the action, Qui cries out, "Where's my harpy?" and leaps off the tree, attempting to grab at Harpy #2, because as he says, "I have slow fall." However, after botching a Jump check, he completely misses the harpy, tucks and rolls, and ends up on the ground, taking minimal damage.
Out of game, I investigate Kimba's apple cinnamon muffins, and find them, in fact, to be free of any mold.
Lola enters the fray in time to heal Rana, who has taken significant harpy claw damage. The frog-Paladin's excellent performance in battle prompts Lola to touch herself inappropriately, but soon the group finds themselves under an enchantment of a fearful sort - the alluring song of the harpy. All but Lola and Justice fail Reflex saves, and the rest wonder why they wanted to kill the beautiful harpies in the first place. Justice saves Rana from walking off the edge of the tree in a harpy-induced daze. Soon, though, battle resumes, and Boof ends the encounter by spitting on the puddle of harpy goo (all that remains of those shrews). Rana instructs everyone to leave, so that she may set fire to the tree. Lola finds 300 gold pieces.
On the other side of the tree are a set of double doors, which disposed of by Boof. A path straight ahead leads to a half-circle room, where seven statues of dwarves surround a green apple, floating on a pillar. A six-foot-wide pit prevents the party from easily investigating, but all party members make the jump easily, even Boof who jumps only after he fails three Use Magic Device rolls in a row (for his flying boots). Qui and Rana recount Asatira lore, and something about a poison apple. Qui adds his own spin, recollecting something about a girl eating an apple, falling asleep, and seven dwarves having their way with her. A brief awkward pause was met after Qui's oh-so-NOT-Disney version of "Snow White and The Seven Dwarves." Boof later eats the apple (Rana had stowed it), declares it an "icky" apple, but doing this activates one of the dwarves, who hands over a key, which Lola pocketed.
Crossing back over the pit, then ventures to the left. A square room is curtained in black velvet...once revealed, the group spends several enjoyable minutes talking shop with a "mirror, mirror on the wall." As it turns out, the mirror will only respond when spoken to in rhymes. Let's recap some of the more memorable pieces of convo:
Boof: "Boof go oof." or "Princess mincess."
Lola: "Before we go, is there anything we need to know?"
Qui: "Would you think it rude to sell people for food?"
Going back into the main room, the party then took a final passageway off to the right. Lola uses the key to unlock the wooden door, and opens up onto a extremely sheer vertical cliff. Lola casts Air Walk and begins to climb. The others, waiting around, notice a strange shape at the top, which is actually a "Rapunzel", who is waiting to let down her hair as a rope. Lola discovers this much too late, as it takes her nearly forever to climb within the parameters of her Air Walk spell. As soon as the party all has climbed the hair rope, they engage in battle with six gnolls. Between Boof raging, Qui punching one in the face, and Justice doing his paladin thing, the gnolls were quickly done away with. Lola and Rana served no real purpose in this battle and so consumed some mango-fruit-thingies while watching the action.
The gnoll room has one exit, and that leads to a room with some water. But first, Rana takes an arrow to the butt from a trap inside, and Lola does a successful Heal check. Several heads bob up in the water after Rana calls for frogs, and Qui figures out these are merpeople. The king is asked for, and OOG, myself and Kimba use the lull in the action to reenact the "Part of Your World" sequences from "The Little Mermaid". Turns out that Kind Trident favors only knights, and the epiphany of the hour is realizing our paladin is a knight, thus lending steam to the adage to "it's not what you know, it's who you know." The king hands over the key, and the resident merpriest heals us, including Rana, who says, "I've got a bad case of the harpies."
Justice uses the key to open the door, to a winding spiral staircase, and a locked door - and the good times roll with four snake-haired Medusas. One medusa's hair attacks Rana, and Qui refuses to punch one of the medusas in the face (he doesn't want to touch it). Mass chaos ensues here, involved many of the following things:
1. Biting snakes
2. Daggers and short bows
3. Baked medusa due to a Searing Light spell from Lola
4. Rana is turned stone
5. Paladin removes curse
6. All other snake-haired fiends are crushed
In line with the four and twenty blackbirds, the party enters a circular room with the birds up high. Feathers began to fly, and a magic feather enables players to "swim" up to the ledge, where another room with treasures await. Qui gives birth to the brilliant brainstorm (in his mind) to building a staircase to the top out of blackbird carcasses. That idea is denied, or really, never discussed after its initial mentioning. Another circular tower and a bunch of blackbirds later, the party comes upon the "Peter Pan" room - a funny little factoid not discovered until later (we didn't catch on to the funky back carpet and the boy statue). The pixies up above drop another key for another door...and the party is exhausted from the day's adventures. Camp is set up in the "Dumbo" room - Feather Room. Friends are bid adieu. Another time, another adventure.
From the adventure last Saturday. I've taken a bit of a break as the DM, and now Mrs. Tiki has taken over for awhile.
In her quest, the band of fearless D&D adventurers are on a rescue mission of the beautiful Princess Florissa. The castle boasts many children's story-themed rooms, along with many dangers and mysteries.
Party members include:
Boof the half-orc barbarian (Brent)
Rana the half-elf fighter (Kimba)
Qui the half-elf monk (Capt)
Lola the gnome cleric (Yours Truly)
At this point in time, the party is about to descend (I think) down a wooden staircase. Upon opening the door at the bottom, a large tree is standing in the middle of the room, and Spot checks all around detect branches laden with yellowish fruit. Boof is easily convinced by Lola to eat one of the fruit, and nothing happens. Rana spots footholds at the base of the tree and begins the climb into...
HARPY HELL!
After screaming "No cure for Harpies!" to the others below, Rana enters into combat, taking some claw damage in the process. During this fracas, two harpies fly off and begin an attack on Boof the barbarian and Qui the monk - this ends badly (for the harpies) for a couple different reasons.
1. Although Harpy #1 was able to pull Boof off of the tree he was climbing, she was beaten in a grapple by him, thus resulting in a harpy unable to disengage herself from a meaty 6'3" half-orc. Once she sank to the ground under the sheer heft, she was thoroughly pounded by a really ticked off barbarian.
2. Obviously wanting to get in on the action, Qui cries out, "Where's my harpy?" and leaps off the tree, attempting to grab at Harpy #2, because as he says, "I have slow fall." However, after botching a Jump check, he completely misses the harpy, tucks and rolls, and ends up on the ground, taking minimal damage.
Out of game, I investigate Kimba's apple cinnamon muffins, and find them, in fact, to be free of any mold.
Lola enters the fray in time to heal Rana, who has taken significant harpy claw damage. The frog-Paladin's excellent performance in battle prompts Lola to touch herself inappropriately, but soon the group finds themselves under an enchantment of a fearful sort - the alluring song of the harpy. All but Lola and Justice fail Reflex saves, and the rest wonder why they wanted to kill the beautiful harpies in the first place. Justice saves Rana from walking off the edge of the tree in a harpy-induced daze. Soon, though, battle resumes, and Boof ends the encounter by spitting on the puddle of harpy goo (all that remains of those shrews). Rana instructs everyone to leave, so that she may set fire to the tree. Lola finds 300 gold pieces.
On the other side of the tree are a set of double doors, which disposed of by Boof. A path straight ahead leads to a half-circle room, where seven statues of dwarves surround a green apple, floating on a pillar. A six-foot-wide pit prevents the party from easily investigating, but all party members make the jump easily, even Boof who jumps only after he fails three Use Magic Device rolls in a row (for his flying boots). Qui and Rana recount Asatira lore, and something about a poison apple. Qui adds his own spin, recollecting something about a girl eating an apple, falling asleep, and seven dwarves having their way with her. A brief awkward pause was met after Qui's oh-so-NOT-Disney version of "Snow White and The Seven Dwarves." Boof later eats the apple (Rana had stowed it), declares it an "icky" apple, but doing this activates one of the dwarves, who hands over a key, which Lola pocketed.
Crossing back over the pit, then ventures to the left. A square room is curtained in black velvet...once revealed, the group spends several enjoyable minutes talking shop with a "mirror, mirror on the wall." As it turns out, the mirror will only respond when spoken to in rhymes. Let's recap some of the more memorable pieces of convo:
Boof: "Boof go oof." or "Princess mincess."
Lola: "Before we go, is there anything we need to know?"
Qui: "Would you think it rude to sell people for food?"
Going back into the main room, the party then took a final passageway off to the right. Lola uses the key to unlock the wooden door, and opens up onto a extremely sheer vertical cliff. Lola casts Air Walk and begins to climb. The others, waiting around, notice a strange shape at the top, which is actually a "Rapunzel", who is waiting to let down her hair as a rope. Lola discovers this much too late, as it takes her nearly forever to climb within the parameters of her Air Walk spell. As soon as the party all has climbed the hair rope, they engage in battle with six gnolls. Between Boof raging, Qui punching one in the face, and Justice doing his paladin thing, the gnolls were quickly done away with. Lola and Rana served no real purpose in this battle and so consumed some mango-fruit-thingies while watching the action.
The gnoll room has one exit, and that leads to a room with some water. But first, Rana takes an arrow to the butt from a trap inside, and Lola does a successful Heal check. Several heads bob up in the water after Rana calls for frogs, and Qui figures out these are merpeople. The king is asked for, and OOG, myself and Kimba use the lull in the action to reenact the "Part of Your World" sequences from "The Little Mermaid". Turns out that Kind Trident favors only knights, and the epiphany of the hour is realizing our paladin is a knight, thus lending steam to the adage to "it's not what you know, it's who you know." The king hands over the key, and the resident merpriest heals us, including Rana, who says, "I've got a bad case of the harpies."
Justice uses the key to open the door, to a winding spiral staircase, and a locked door - and the good times roll with four snake-haired Medusas. One medusa's hair attacks Rana, and Qui refuses to punch one of the medusas in the face (he doesn't want to touch it). Mass chaos ensues here, involved many of the following things:
1. Biting snakes
2. Daggers and short bows
3. Baked medusa due to a Searing Light spell from Lola
4. Rana is turned stone
5. Paladin removes curse
6. All other snake-haired fiends are crushed
In line with the four and twenty blackbirds, the party enters a circular room with the birds up high. Feathers began to fly, and a magic feather enables players to "swim" up to the ledge, where another room with treasures await. Qui gives birth to the brilliant brainstorm (in his mind) to building a staircase to the top out of blackbird carcasses. That idea is denied, or really, never discussed after its initial mentioning. Another circular tower and a bunch of blackbirds later, the party comes upon the "Peter Pan" room - a funny little factoid not discovered until later (we didn't catch on to the funky back carpet and the boy statue). The pixies up above drop another key for another door...and the party is exhausted from the day's adventures. Camp is set up in the "Dumbo" room - Feather Room. Friends are bid adieu. Another time, another adventure.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Nathar's Dungeon #4
I took notes during this adventure, but forgot to put the blog up, and of course, I don't remember much as this was a month or 2 ago. So here's my disjointed notes about this adventure:
Holy Krylon - no clue what this means
There was a big waterfall trap where the wolf had to drag one of the gnomes who wasn't fast enough, and almost drowned.
Onyx missed a jump over a large crevass.
The paladin choped a door with his sword while a gnome was listening at it.
They found Father Maresh tied to a pole surrounded by sea hags, the electric hedgehog made an appearance.
They transported back to the aquarium room after reviving dude.
back to chapel
gold statue with trap
gnomes went through the mist door
Paladin charges in, fluffy bunny code (no clue
)
They fought a chain demon, and there was some rune reading.
Something I refered to as the collar debacle (rogue has)
We then went into a door that glows and were in an octogon room with a water elemental.
It knocked out Roc, then Pearl.
The bear (actually Wolfgang) whiffed all of his attacks.
Druid and his wolf left without helping to carry Maresh.
They're back in Linwood.
They let the priest get dressed (
)
Acolyte Zacharia Cobra was found.
Everyone drunk - no info.
So that's the best I can do, I will do better next time, I promise!
Holy Krylon - no clue what this means
There was a big waterfall trap where the wolf had to drag one of the gnomes who wasn't fast enough, and almost drowned.
Onyx missed a jump over a large crevass.
The paladin choped a door with his sword while a gnome was listening at it.
They found Father Maresh tied to a pole surrounded by sea hags, the electric hedgehog made an appearance.
They transported back to the aquarium room after reviving dude.
back to chapel
gold statue with trap
gnomes went through the mist door
Paladin charges in, fluffy bunny code (no clue
)They fought a chain demon, and there was some rune reading.
Something I refered to as the collar debacle (rogue has)
We then went into a door that glows and were in an octogon room with a water elemental.
It knocked out Roc, then Pearl.
The bear (actually Wolfgang) whiffed all of his attacks.
Druid and his wolf left without helping to carry Maresh.
They're back in Linwood.
They let the priest get dressed (
)Acolyte Zacharia Cobra was found.
Everyone drunk - no info.
So that's the best I can do, I will do better next time, I promise!
Na-athar's Dungeon #5
Saturday has those crazy gamers meeting again. After watching the local high school's Prom walk on t.v., it was discovered that the soup had simmered a bit too much. So an emergency pizza call was made and the newest chapter of the game began.
The Players:
Pearl the Wizard (Gnome) and Prickles the Hedgehog
Onyx the Rouge (her twin)
Roc the Paladin (½ elf)
Wolfgang the Druid (½ elf) and Ruger the Wolf
When last this adventure ran, our group had saved an entire town. As we tuned in, the group was still surrounded by the celebrating village and were rewarded with any free item from the local merchant. The Paladin, Roc, took this time to try a sell the shield which was gifted to him by Pearl. (This was followed by much discussion over Roc's ungratefulness.
) After much time browsing the shop, Onyx ended up with some cool gauntlets, Pearl got some magic robes(she didn't get in time), Roc found a lion shield, and Wolfgang got a much needed ring of protection.
The group then headed off to the tavern to continue enjoying their hero status with free dinners. Roc immediately started looking for evil to fight, but the closest he could find was the town's whore. Pearl watched as Roc tried to save her. Somehow, his words and flashing his holy symbol didn't sway her and after giving both her and her “friend” 5g each, Roc gave up.
Meanwhile, Onyx was providing the unknowingly Wolfgang with an unending supply of ale.
The group then headed to the inn and had to stop Wolfgang from turning into a bear to scare the townsfolk. (This is what he comes up with when drunk? )
All is peaceful at the inn except a little night visit to Wolfgang's room by Onyx who's trying to search through his belongings. Unfortunately, or fortunately (depending on which side your on), Ruger was guarding over his passed-out master, and Wolfgang woke to find the rogue spilling a story about wanting to try to take the large, scary wolf for a mid-night walk. And he believed it, or just wanted to go back to sleep.
Morning arrives with much commotion. A large house on the far side of town is on fire and everyone is running to it. But once there, our hero's notice that no one is actually doing anything about the blaze except watch. There is a child heard and 3 of the heroes run around back to go to the rescue(guess which one didn't
). Once inside, a ring of fire appears and so does the demon, Na-athar. (This was corrected spelling handed down by DM.)
(Out of game, the rogue gets a text telling her she doesn't have to go back to work....there is a quick happy dance, some 'whoo hoos' and they head back into the game.
)
Roc suddenly falls through a hole in the floor. There's a small incident involving a bucket of water to some one's face, and the rest of the group goes into the hole. A fireplace is discovered with hand holds. Roc, after some false starts, begins to climb. The rest stay behind to figure out a 'Ruger sling' to get the wolf up the chimney. (Wolfgang begins to ask about the breaking & entering at the inn.)
Halfway up, Roc can't help touching a strange looking stone. Suddenly, a fire trap starts coming down from above, and he falls back down to join the group.
A very cool spell is quickly memorized and cast by Pearl, and suddenly the group is joined by “Spider-Gnome”. She straps the wolf sling to her and climbs the wall of the chimney, avoiding the odd stone. The rest climb up with some ease.
Next, our heroes find a collection of precious stones. The rogue, not being able to help it, grabs the black sapphire and disappears. Pearl spider climbs above the emerald she grabs so she came jump into the trapdoor. Wolfgang and Roc both grab a stone and go through the trapdoor.
(Out of the game, DM tells the Gnomes to switch places. There are some worried glances and some have a bad feeling about this.)
As it turns out, Pearl and Roc find themselves together in the same hall. While Wolfgang and Onyx are together in another hall. (Wolfgang asks about the break & entering at the inn.) Onyx's gem begins to vibrate and tries to fly away, but Onyx refuses to give up her gem that easy and hangs onto it until it explodes and burns her hands with acid. Pearl's emerald turns into a swarm of fire spiders and earns a hole in her pack. And finally, Wolfgang finds himself (plus Ruger) covered under 5 inches of ice thanks to his gem. onyx cools burnt hands.
Pearl and Roc get the worse of the bad gems as they try to rid themselves of the fiery storm. A fumbled ray of frost hits the wall, and the lighting gauntlets kill some. But the ice storm finally kill them all off.
Meanwhile, Wolfgang communicates with Onyx (one blink= yes, 2= no). She holds up an oil lamp and some tinder twigs (2 blinks). She holds up her crossbow and flaming arrow (many blinks). She holds up a miner's pick (many blinks). Finally, she just starts a fire near his feet and waits for the ½ elf and his wolf to melt.
Both pairs find doors with riddles. Pearl and Roc apparently answer correctly because their door opens.
Wolfgang and Onyx are wrong and begin to explore their surroundings. (Wolfgang asks again about the breaking & entering at the inn.) They find another door, which after many attempts to unlock it or break it down, turns out to just push open. The room leads to a big Wrasp. Wolfgang finally gets to turn into a bear and kills the monster.
Roc and Pearl find a Salamander with a flaming spear. Pearl hits it with lighting for 27 points, Roc hits it dead and gets his axe! Pearl finds a glowing dagger, and they both start grabbing all glowing weapons. The separated heroes decided to make camp and find each other next time.
Tune in next time for the continuing adventures of Spider-Gnome and Prickle's ...I mean, Na-athar's Dungeon.
The Tally:
# of times a ½ elf turned into a bear: 1
# of times the Paladin “laid hands” to heal: we tried to look away
# of times the inn break-in was asked about: 6
# the prayer hands were used: 2
# of whores saved: 0
What a wonderful way to spend the evening!
The Players:
Pearl the Wizard (Gnome) and Prickles the Hedgehog
Onyx the Rouge (her twin)
Roc the Paladin (½ elf)
Wolfgang the Druid (½ elf) and Ruger the Wolf
When last this adventure ran, our group had saved an entire town. As we tuned in, the group was still surrounded by the celebrating village and were rewarded with any free item from the local merchant. The Paladin, Roc, took this time to try a sell the shield which was gifted to him by Pearl. (This was followed by much discussion over Roc's ungratefulness.
) After much time browsing the shop, Onyx ended up with some cool gauntlets, Pearl got some magic robes(she didn't get in time), Roc found a lion shield, and Wolfgang got a much needed ring of protection.The group then headed off to the tavern to continue enjoying their hero status with free dinners. Roc immediately started looking for evil to fight, but the closest he could find was the town's whore. Pearl watched as Roc tried to save her. Somehow, his words and flashing his holy symbol didn't sway her and after giving both her and her “friend” 5g each, Roc gave up.
Meanwhile, Onyx was providing the unknowingly Wolfgang with an unending supply of ale.
The group then headed to the inn and had to stop Wolfgang from turning into a bear to scare the townsfolk. (This is what he comes up with when drunk?
)All is peaceful at the inn except a little night visit to Wolfgang's room by Onyx who's trying to search through his belongings. Unfortunately, or fortunately (depending on which side your on), Ruger was guarding over his passed-out master, and Wolfgang woke to find the rogue spilling a story about wanting to try to take the large, scary wolf for a mid-night walk. And he believed it, or just wanted to go back to sleep.
Morning arrives with much commotion. A large house on the far side of town is on fire and everyone is running to it. But once there, our hero's notice that no one is actually doing anything about the blaze except watch. There is a child heard and 3 of the heroes run around back to go to the rescue(guess which one didn't
). Once inside, a ring of fire appears and so does the demon, Na-athar. (This was corrected spelling handed down by DM.)(Out of game, the rogue gets a text telling her she doesn't have to go back to work....there is a quick happy dance, some 'whoo hoos' and they head back into the game.
)Roc suddenly falls through a hole in the floor. There's a small incident involving a bucket of water to some one's face, and the rest of the group goes into the hole. A fireplace is discovered with hand holds. Roc, after some false starts, begins to climb. The rest stay behind to figure out a 'Ruger sling' to get the wolf up the chimney. (Wolfgang begins to ask about the breaking & entering at the inn.)
Halfway up, Roc can't help touching a strange looking stone. Suddenly, a fire trap starts coming down from above, and he falls back down to join the group.
A very cool spell is quickly memorized and cast by Pearl, and suddenly the group is joined by “Spider-Gnome”. She straps the wolf sling to her and climbs the wall of the chimney, avoiding the odd stone. The rest climb up with some ease.
Next, our heroes find a collection of precious stones. The rogue, not being able to help it, grabs the black sapphire and disappears. Pearl spider climbs above the emerald she grabs so she came jump into the trapdoor. Wolfgang and Roc both grab a stone and go through the trapdoor.
(Out of the game, DM tells the Gnomes to switch places. There are some worried glances and some have a bad feeling about this.)
As it turns out, Pearl and Roc find themselves together in the same hall. While Wolfgang and Onyx are together in another hall. (Wolfgang asks about the break & entering at the inn.) Onyx's gem begins to vibrate and tries to fly away, but Onyx refuses to give up her gem that easy and hangs onto it until it explodes and burns her hands with acid. Pearl's emerald turns into a swarm of fire spiders and earns a hole in her pack. And finally, Wolfgang finds himself (plus Ruger) covered under 5 inches of ice thanks to his gem. onyx cools burnt hands.
Pearl and Roc get the worse of the bad gems as they try to rid themselves of the fiery storm. A fumbled ray of frost hits the wall, and the lighting gauntlets kill some. But the ice storm finally kill them all off.
Meanwhile, Wolfgang communicates with Onyx (one blink= yes, 2= no). She holds up an oil lamp and some tinder twigs (2 blinks). She holds up her crossbow and flaming arrow (many blinks). She holds up a miner's pick (many blinks). Finally, she just starts a fire near his feet and waits for the ½ elf and his wolf to melt.
Both pairs find doors with riddles. Pearl and Roc apparently answer correctly because their door opens.
Wolfgang and Onyx are wrong and begin to explore their surroundings. (Wolfgang asks again about the breaking & entering at the inn.) They find another door, which after many attempts to unlock it or break it down, turns out to just push open. The room leads to a big Wrasp. Wolfgang finally gets to turn into a bear and kills the monster.
Roc and Pearl find a Salamander with a flaming spear. Pearl hits it with lighting for 27 points, Roc hits it dead and gets his axe! Pearl finds a glowing dagger, and they both start grabbing all glowing weapons. The separated heroes decided to make camp and find each other next time.
Tune in next time for the continuing adventures of Spider-Gnome and Prickle's ...I mean, Na-athar's Dungeon.
The Tally:
# of times a ½ elf turned into a bear: 1
# of times the Paladin “laid hands” to heal: we tried to look away
# of times the inn break-in was asked about: 6
# the prayer hands were used: 2
# of whores saved: 0
What a wonderful way to spend the evening!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Finding Princess Florissa #2
-Courtesy of Lola
Last Friday saw another Dungeons and Dragons quest, in which our brave adventurers journeyed to mystical, children-story-themed lands to rescue the beautiful Princess Florissa from...exactly what, we don't know yet.
Highlights include:
1. Battle #1 the slaying of six grimlocks. Those blind ogre-thingies won't mess with us again.
2. The fighter leads the party through the exit onto a narrowish walkway at the edge of a pool. Barbarian gets overexcited and knocks the fighter and cleric into the water. Fighter catches herself. Monk catches cleric.
3. Fighter loses scimitar in pool after attempting to beat down door at the end of the water path. Cleric fails reflex check and takes damage from the flying scimitar before it sinks in the water.
4. Party is flummoxed as to how to open the door. DM gives a clue about a key attached to the wall above the door. Barbarian uses sweet flying boots to retrieve key...but fumbles and drops the key into the water.
5. Frog pops up out of pool and angrily asks if there's anything else party is planning on dropping on his head. Talking frog wants to come on adventure; group agrees. Cleric has epiphany and asks to kiss frog. Frog assents and turns into a full-grown human paladin named Justice Chambers. Good timing.
6. Qui the monk sniggers at the paladin's name. Group takes a minute to remind monk his name rhymes with a girly emotive action - so he should shut up.
7. Next room turns up five ants. Amid the biting and stinging, everyone but the gnome cleric are charmed and stop fighting right in the middle of the fracas. Qui gets cocky and ends up whiffing both fists at one of the ants. Rana the fighter is so charmed, she actually begins protecting ants.
8. A huge scorpion enters, and Rana and Boof go uncharmed. The cleric Scorching Rays the scorpion's poisonous ass and Boof makes the final fatal blow. Almost immediately, Boof and Rana go charmed again, and Lola the cleric has to actually cast Hold Person on Rana to get her the hell of the way. Qui spends about half the time charmed as well.
9. After a hell of a lot of charming and uncharming, the party defeats the ant monstrosities (one of which was the queen) and finds four chests with some goodies (a sack, a potion, a crystal, and boots). Lola the cleric searches the queen's body to some extra coinage...shortly before Rana the fighter (and resident pyromaniac) sets the carcass ablaze.
10. Party enters bedroom, and all, except Qui and Justice fail Will saves, immediately fall asleep (the "sleeping beauty" room). In a weird kissing daisy chain, Qui kisses Rana, Justice kisses Lola, and Lola reluctantly kisses Boof, the half-orc. The good times continue to roll as six skeletons enter the scene. The cleric destroys two by turning, and Boof and Qui dispatch the rest. Another failed Will save renders all but Lola the cleric instantly asleep. So...Lola kisses Justice, who kisses Rana, who kisses Qui, who harbors heterosexual tendencies ONLY. The first wake-up attempt is a Create Water spell on Boof's body, but does nothing except make the barbarian look as if he's in the throes of an erotic wet dream. Attempt number two (courtesy of Qui) is to drag Boof from the room and slap him around. It works.
11. Party is now in a weapons room, and after unsheathing a huge boulder, party discovers a sword, and, in the manner of Excalibur, plunges the sword into the rock, revealing a secret door and small table holding only a blue vial.
***At this point, out of game, it is discovered that the banana muffins people have been eating all night are actually moldy. They are quickly disposed of.
12. A la Alice in Wonderland, blue vial potion shrinks anyone who drinks it, a fact learned after Boof glugs it.
13. All players then drink the potion, discover a door, and go through it to find the "three little kittens" (aka a manticore, dire lion, and a dire tiger). The tiger majorly kicks the cleric's ass (left with 12 out of 60 hit points). Players end up winning, natch, and Rana locates a mitten in the surrounding environs. Odd...
14. Upon entering the next room, the players see three chairs, a table, three beds, and yep, you guessed it, three bears. Battle begins. Qui gets a super smackdown from the Baby Bear (40 hit points in one go), and pretty soon, we're all ganging up on the little guy. And not feeling bad about it at all. However, we got that strategy figured out a little too late, because before the BBWA (Baby Beat Whomp Ass), we all were staggering on hit points. The paladin magically is able to cast Cure Mass Critical Wounds, and suddenly, we're all rejuvenated. Again, good timing...
15. After the revitalization, Lola casts Summon Monster and soon, a celestial lion enters the scene and assists in kicking some bear ass. Pretty soon, Mama Bear is all that's left, and Qui ends up getting a natural 20 to completely annihilate Mama Bear (so much for not hitting a girl).
16. After playing with a statue with a messed up hinged thumb thingy, the party returns to the room in the beginning, leveling up in the process.
Good times, good times.
Last Friday saw another Dungeons and Dragons quest, in which our brave adventurers journeyed to mystical, children-story-themed lands to rescue the beautiful Princess Florissa from...exactly what, we don't know yet.
Highlights include:
1. Battle #1 the slaying of six grimlocks. Those blind ogre-thingies won't mess with us again.
2. The fighter leads the party through the exit onto a narrowish walkway at the edge of a pool. Barbarian gets overexcited and knocks the fighter and cleric into the water. Fighter catches herself. Monk catches cleric.
3. Fighter loses scimitar in pool after attempting to beat down door at the end of the water path. Cleric fails reflex check and takes damage from the flying scimitar before it sinks in the water.
4. Party is flummoxed as to how to open the door. DM gives a clue about a key attached to the wall above the door. Barbarian uses sweet flying boots to retrieve key...but fumbles and drops the key into the water.
5. Frog pops up out of pool and angrily asks if there's anything else party is planning on dropping on his head. Talking frog wants to come on adventure; group agrees. Cleric has epiphany and asks to kiss frog. Frog assents and turns into a full-grown human paladin named Justice Chambers. Good timing.
6. Qui the monk sniggers at the paladin's name. Group takes a minute to remind monk his name rhymes with a girly emotive action - so he should shut up.
7. Next room turns up five ants. Amid the biting and stinging, everyone but the gnome cleric are charmed and stop fighting right in the middle of the fracas. Qui gets cocky and ends up whiffing both fists at one of the ants. Rana the fighter is so charmed, she actually begins protecting ants.
8. A huge scorpion enters, and Rana and Boof go uncharmed. The cleric Scorching Rays the scorpion's poisonous ass and Boof makes the final fatal blow. Almost immediately, Boof and Rana go charmed again, and Lola the cleric has to actually cast Hold Person on Rana to get her the hell of the way. Qui spends about half the time charmed as well.
9. After a hell of a lot of charming and uncharming, the party defeats the ant monstrosities (one of which was the queen) and finds four chests with some goodies (a sack, a potion, a crystal, and boots). Lola the cleric searches the queen's body to some extra coinage...shortly before Rana the fighter (and resident pyromaniac) sets the carcass ablaze.
10. Party enters bedroom, and all, except Qui and Justice fail Will saves, immediately fall asleep (the "sleeping beauty" room). In a weird kissing daisy chain, Qui kisses Rana, Justice kisses Lola, and Lola reluctantly kisses Boof, the half-orc. The good times continue to roll as six skeletons enter the scene. The cleric destroys two by turning, and Boof and Qui dispatch the rest. Another failed Will save renders all but Lola the cleric instantly asleep. So...Lola kisses Justice, who kisses Rana, who kisses Qui, who harbors heterosexual tendencies ONLY. The first wake-up attempt is a Create Water spell on Boof's body, but does nothing except make the barbarian look as if he's in the throes of an erotic wet dream. Attempt number two (courtesy of Qui) is to drag Boof from the room and slap him around. It works.
11. Party is now in a weapons room, and after unsheathing a huge boulder, party discovers a sword, and, in the manner of Excalibur, plunges the sword into the rock, revealing a secret door and small table holding only a blue vial.
***At this point, out of game, it is discovered that the banana muffins people have been eating all night are actually moldy. They are quickly disposed of.
12. A la Alice in Wonderland, blue vial potion shrinks anyone who drinks it, a fact learned after Boof glugs it.
13. All players then drink the potion, discover a door, and go through it to find the "three little kittens" (aka a manticore, dire lion, and a dire tiger). The tiger majorly kicks the cleric's ass (left with 12 out of 60 hit points). Players end up winning, natch, and Rana locates a mitten in the surrounding environs. Odd...
14. Upon entering the next room, the players see three chairs, a table, three beds, and yep, you guessed it, three bears. Battle begins. Qui gets a super smackdown from the Baby Bear (40 hit points in one go), and pretty soon, we're all ganging up on the little guy. And not feeling bad about it at all. However, we got that strategy figured out a little too late, because before the BBWA (Baby Beat Whomp Ass), we all were staggering on hit points. The paladin magically is able to cast Cure Mass Critical Wounds, and suddenly, we're all rejuvenated. Again, good timing...
15. After the revitalization, Lola casts Summon Monster and soon, a celestial lion enters the scene and assists in kicking some bear ass. Pretty soon, Mama Bear is all that's left, and Qui ends up getting a natural 20 to completely annihilate Mama Bear (so much for not hitting a girl).
16. After playing with a statue with a messed up hinged thumb thingy, the party returns to the room in the beginning, leveling up in the process.
Good times, good times.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Finding Princess Florissa #1.2
Stairway to Nerdvana courtesy of HN (the cleric)
Soooo...the King reads the scroll to transport us, and we, all of a sudden, are whisked to a floating mansion/island/freaky place. There is no way to return, and it dawns on us that we did not shop for any provisions. Huh.
We enter the mansion into a large room. A deep voice greets us with the question, "What alignment are you?"
Everyone but the cleric responds with some form of chaotic neutral, and the voice warns those party members "he will keep an eye on them." The cleric responds with "Neutral Good" and the voice welcomes the cleric. Turns out the dismembered voice belongs to a lammasu, a lion-man creature who is very good and very capable of ripping people's throats out. He informs the cleric to come back anytime for healing (YES!).
Because I'm getting tired already and this could end up long, here's the short version.
1. A room bedecked in the style of a Pepto-Bismol nursing hoom room reveals a nice little old granny, asleep in bed. That is, until the cleric clanks noisily across the room due to a failed Move Silently check. Then Granny morphs into a nasty Worg. The overgrown dog is easily dispatched.
2. Somebody (the fighter maybe) rubs a suspicious-looking lamp, releasing an efreeti. The monk punches it in the face, after which the creature lays a flaming smackdown on the barbarian. Despite this, the party drives the genie back to his lamp. Someone let the barbarian too close to the lamp, though, because he rubs it again for some asinine reason, rereleases the efreeti, who then basically gives us the finger and returns to his lamp. He does bequeath some sweet new weapons to us...you know, as a gesture of wussiness because we just kicked his arse.
3. A nearly bare room reveals a long golden goose and a couple of doors. The gnome fails a Will save and JUST HAS TO TOUCH THE GOOSE. Boof (the barb) picks her up, physically restraining her, and while he is preoccupied doing that, the fighter cannot resist and actually grabs the bird. The bird comes to life and begins to fly about the room, incidentally, with the fighter attached to it. The barbarian uses his flying boots to soar upwards in a rescue attempt and becomes stuck to the bird as well. As if this isn't enough, Boof also tries to headbutt the bird, affixing his forehead too. The cleric casts Dispel Magic, which breaks the spell. The fighter takes falling damage. Moral: Don't touch weird, out of place birds. Who knew?
4. There are several renditions of songs with the word 'cry' in them. The monk's name is Qui, which rhymes with 'cry' and so the fighter and cleric have a little fun with song substitutions.
5. Another room reveals three trolls, who proceed to whomp on the party. The cleric juggles trying to keep herself healed as well as the others. At one point in the action, the fighter suddenly sprints out of the room. No reason, no explanation. While she's gone, the barbarian rages and takes out a troll. The other two are quickly annihilated. Rana (the fighter), at that moment, bursts back into the room, looking grossly disappointed. Turned out she'd had a brainstorm...grab the efreeti lamp, rub it quick, and set it on the trolls. Brilliant, but a little too late.
6. The party then visits a room that appears to have a carnival-esque atmosphere. There is a pond with several cute ducklings swimming to and fro. The fighter is instantly enamoured, and the rest of us scratch our heads at this new idiosyncrasy of the elf - a fierce love of ducks? The cleric and monk attempt to get a game of duck baseball rolling, which is instantly quashed when the fighter pulls a weapon out on Qui (the monk). Somebody (can't remember who) grabs one ugly little fluffball, only to find a key tied to its little leg. "Hey - there was a locked door a ways back and this might be the key that opens it" is the epiphany of the hour. And off we go...
7. Locked door opens onto a hill giant. Sweet. At one point in the battle, all players (including the giant) except the gnome roll a 1 (critical miss) and fall down onto the ground. The cleric takes the opportunity to totally whale on the giant's prone form. It's hard-fought battle, and the players take significant damage before beating the giant down. It is suggested to return to the lammasu room for healing and rest, as well as a good stopping place for the adventure. Concurrences all around.
The fighter refuses to sleep in the lion-man room. Claims it creeps her out, so she opts to stay in the pink doily lace room where, I might add here, a seemingly nice, innocent grandma turned into a vicious bloodthirsting wolf (whose corpse is still present, btw).
Yeah, not paradoxical and weird at all.
Oh yeah, a winding staircase discovered at some point late in the adventure leads to the monk and cleric to croon refrains of Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven". They could hardly let it pass, for Pete's sake.
Soooo...the King reads the scroll to transport us, and we, all of a sudden, are whisked to a floating mansion/island/freaky place. There is no way to return, and it dawns on us that we did not shop for any provisions. Huh.
We enter the mansion into a large room. A deep voice greets us with the question, "What alignment are you?"
Everyone but the cleric responds with some form of chaotic neutral, and the voice warns those party members "he will keep an eye on them." The cleric responds with "Neutral Good" and the voice welcomes the cleric. Turns out the dismembered voice belongs to a lammasu, a lion-man creature who is very good and very capable of ripping people's throats out. He informs the cleric to come back anytime for healing (YES!).
Because I'm getting tired already and this could end up long, here's the short version.
1. A room bedecked in the style of a Pepto-Bismol nursing hoom room reveals a nice little old granny, asleep in bed. That is, until the cleric clanks noisily across the room due to a failed Move Silently check. Then Granny morphs into a nasty Worg. The overgrown dog is easily dispatched.
2. Somebody (the fighter maybe) rubs a suspicious-looking lamp, releasing an efreeti. The monk punches it in the face, after which the creature lays a flaming smackdown on the barbarian. Despite this, the party drives the genie back to his lamp. Someone let the barbarian too close to the lamp, though, because he rubs it again for some asinine reason, rereleases the efreeti, who then basically gives us the finger and returns to his lamp. He does bequeath some sweet new weapons to us...you know, as a gesture of wussiness because we just kicked his arse.
3. A nearly bare room reveals a long golden goose and a couple of doors. The gnome fails a Will save and JUST HAS TO TOUCH THE GOOSE. Boof (the barb) picks her up, physically restraining her, and while he is preoccupied doing that, the fighter cannot resist and actually grabs the bird. The bird comes to life and begins to fly about the room, incidentally, with the fighter attached to it. The barbarian uses his flying boots to soar upwards in a rescue attempt and becomes stuck to the bird as well. As if this isn't enough, Boof also tries to headbutt the bird, affixing his forehead too. The cleric casts Dispel Magic, which breaks the spell. The fighter takes falling damage. Moral: Don't touch weird, out of place birds. Who knew?
4. There are several renditions of songs with the word 'cry' in them. The monk's name is Qui, which rhymes with 'cry' and so the fighter and cleric have a little fun with song substitutions.
5. Another room reveals three trolls, who proceed to whomp on the party. The cleric juggles trying to keep herself healed as well as the others. At one point in the action, the fighter suddenly sprints out of the room. No reason, no explanation. While she's gone, the barbarian rages and takes out a troll. The other two are quickly annihilated. Rana (the fighter), at that moment, bursts back into the room, looking grossly disappointed. Turned out she'd had a brainstorm...grab the efreeti lamp, rub it quick, and set it on the trolls. Brilliant, but a little too late.
6. The party then visits a room that appears to have a carnival-esque atmosphere. There is a pond with several cute ducklings swimming to and fro. The fighter is instantly enamoured, and the rest of us scratch our heads at this new idiosyncrasy of the elf - a fierce love of ducks? The cleric and monk attempt to get a game of duck baseball rolling, which is instantly quashed when the fighter pulls a weapon out on Qui (the monk). Somebody (can't remember who) grabs one ugly little fluffball, only to find a key tied to its little leg. "Hey - there was a locked door a ways back and this might be the key that opens it" is the epiphany of the hour. And off we go...
7. Locked door opens onto a hill giant. Sweet. At one point in the battle, all players (including the giant) except the gnome roll a 1 (critical miss) and fall down onto the ground. The cleric takes the opportunity to totally whale on the giant's prone form. It's hard-fought battle, and the players take significant damage before beating the giant down. It is suggested to return to the lammasu room for healing and rest, as well as a good stopping place for the adventure. Concurrences all around.
The fighter refuses to sleep in the lion-man room. Claims it creeps her out, so she opts to stay in the pink doily lace room where, I might add here, a seemingly nice, innocent grandma turned into a vicious bloodthirsting wolf (whose corpse is still present, btw).
Yeah, not paradoxical and weird at all.
Oh yeah, a winding staircase discovered at some point late in the adventure leads to the monk and cleric to croon refrains of Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven". They could hardly let it pass, for Pete's sake.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Finding Princess Florissa #1
- Courtesy of HN
Ahhh, am just coming down off another night of an excellent Dungeons and Dragons adventure.
Mrs. Jones engineered this evening's adventure...she has not been the boss since before the holidays (cf. post of December 14, 2008).
Before I launch into tonight's quest, let me first regale you with the menu:
Cheeseburger Chowder
Bread
Two kinds of deer sausage
Cheese & crackers
Crudites and dip
Jalapeno jelly and cream cheese
Chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, and banana muffins
Yeah. Good stuff.
So, this adventure began where the other left off. We'd been kicked out of the town of Kenby, because Qui (the monk) had pissed everyone in town off, accusing the sheriff of "selling people for food."
We safely made it to the outskirts and camped for the night, all the while remonstrating Qui for opening his mouth, and forbidding him ever to do it again, especially as the mouthpiece for our group.
After that, the journey began south. To a bunch of kingdoms. Which awaited our skills, no doubt.
The first kingdom we came to was walled and appeared to be very wealthy. However, the guards at the gate were rather lax and indifferent and only showed the slightest interest when Qui asked them if it would be OK if we came back later and kicked their ass (so much for Ixnay on the OuthpieceMay).
For ten o'clock in the morning, the town of Asatira seemed rather quiet. Almost too quiet. We entered the Poisoned Apple Tavern...as everyone in the medieval world knows, the life and soul of a village dwells within its tavern.
Everyone in the bar seemed depressed. Turns out the princess of this kingdom had disappeared, and a royal decree had been issued, asking for any and all smart, brave, and old persons to report to the castle at once. Immediately, we perceived this as our chance. Well, entrance to the castle was much the lackadaisical affair as entering the kingdom. Very suspicious to the cleric at the time, but, as there were other fish to fry, it was no time to consider this in depth.
Off to the castle to prove our mettle. We were divided up to take tests...the gnome fails to answer a supremely easy question, the monk and barbarian drink something that is NOT poison, and the fighter fails to impress the judge with her childhood story. So, two of us are "in" and two of us are "out". Well, we don't work like that, and after some pleading and cajoling with the judges, they let us all go together to see the king (supposedly very depressed since the disappearance of his daughter).
As is expected, the king needs our help and proceeds to tell us what he knows. His castle fell victim to a recent bandit attack, which was thwarted by the Royal Advisor, Mordred (keep your eye on this guy...his name alone creeps me out). After this attack, the king finds a scroll that enables protection of any of the royal children. Imagine how convenient that information was a couple of days later, when the bandits attack again. The king rushes his daughter, Florissa, to the library, activates the scroll, and POOF! never sees her again. Somewhere here in this interchange, Mordred appears and pulls the king off to a private conversation...much to the indignation of us party members with whom he was speaking first. Naturally, we all do Listen checks, which we pass superbly, with the exception of Boof the Suddenly Deaf Barbarian. Turns out Mordred is against us going to look for whats-her-face (suspicion increases). King tells Mordy off, and he leaves (Mordred, that is, not the King).
We are then escorted to the library, where we have free rein to poke around. The cleric casts Detect Magic, locating an entire magical book/scroll section, and a faint ring of magic in the far corner of the room. Putting two and two together, the group surmises this is the magical portal through which Princess Florissa disappeared. Boof cannot read at all, and contents himself with looking at the pretty pictures in books he randomly pulls off the shelves. He becomes particularly attached to a book with a lovely woman on the cover, and before long, has secreted himself in a corner, doing who knows what. Suspicions soon arise that Boof is pleasuring himself, using the book cover as inspiration. Ew.
A search turns up another scroll that appears to contain the instructions of locating any missing royal children (how lucky for us). The scroll speaks of the Worthy One, the one who frees the princess, thus earning the right to marry her. This appears to be the key we're looking for. Problem is, even the cleric doesn't know enough magic to activate the scroll. Enter the scribe who had been sent to fetch drinks for us. Because of a SERIOUS lapse in judgment, the monk proceeds to freak the scribe out with tales of a sheriff in a neighboring city who SELLS PEOPLE FOR FOOD. Much monk chastising ensues.
The fighter escorts the way traumatized scribe to the king, who comes to the library at once to activate the scroll and send us off on our quest.
Part Two to come later...
Ahhh, am just coming down off another night of an excellent Dungeons and Dragons adventure.
Mrs. Jones engineered this evening's adventure...she has not been the boss since before the holidays (cf. post of December 14, 2008).
Before I launch into tonight's quest, let me first regale you with the menu:
Cheeseburger Chowder
Bread
Two kinds of deer sausage
Cheese & crackers
Crudites and dip
Jalapeno jelly and cream cheese
Chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, and banana muffins
Yeah. Good stuff.
So, this adventure began where the other left off. We'd been kicked out of the town of Kenby, because Qui (the monk) had pissed everyone in town off, accusing the sheriff of "selling people for food."
We safely made it to the outskirts and camped for the night, all the while remonstrating Qui for opening his mouth, and forbidding him ever to do it again, especially as the mouthpiece for our group.
After that, the journey began south. To a bunch of kingdoms. Which awaited our skills, no doubt.
The first kingdom we came to was walled and appeared to be very wealthy. However, the guards at the gate were rather lax and indifferent and only showed the slightest interest when Qui asked them if it would be OK if we came back later and kicked their ass (so much for Ixnay on the OuthpieceMay).
For ten o'clock in the morning, the town of Asatira seemed rather quiet. Almost too quiet. We entered the Poisoned Apple Tavern...as everyone in the medieval world knows, the life and soul of a village dwells within its tavern.
Everyone in the bar seemed depressed. Turns out the princess of this kingdom had disappeared, and a royal decree had been issued, asking for any and all smart, brave, and old persons to report to the castle at once. Immediately, we perceived this as our chance. Well, entrance to the castle was much the lackadaisical affair as entering the kingdom. Very suspicious to the cleric at the time, but, as there were other fish to fry, it was no time to consider this in depth.
Off to the castle to prove our mettle. We were divided up to take tests...the gnome fails to answer a supremely easy question, the monk and barbarian drink something that is NOT poison, and the fighter fails to impress the judge with her childhood story. So, two of us are "in" and two of us are "out". Well, we don't work like that, and after some pleading and cajoling with the judges, they let us all go together to see the king (supposedly very depressed since the disappearance of his daughter).
As is expected, the king needs our help and proceeds to tell us what he knows. His castle fell victim to a recent bandit attack, which was thwarted by the Royal Advisor, Mordred (keep your eye on this guy...his name alone creeps me out). After this attack, the king finds a scroll that enables protection of any of the royal children. Imagine how convenient that information was a couple of days later, when the bandits attack again. The king rushes his daughter, Florissa, to the library, activates the scroll, and POOF! never sees her again. Somewhere here in this interchange, Mordred appears and pulls the king off to a private conversation...much to the indignation of us party members with whom he was speaking first. Naturally, we all do Listen checks, which we pass superbly, with the exception of Boof the Suddenly Deaf Barbarian. Turns out Mordred is against us going to look for whats-her-face (suspicion increases). King tells Mordy off, and he leaves (Mordred, that is, not the King).
We are then escorted to the library, where we have free rein to poke around. The cleric casts Detect Magic, locating an entire magical book/scroll section, and a faint ring of magic in the far corner of the room. Putting two and two together, the group surmises this is the magical portal through which Princess Florissa disappeared. Boof cannot read at all, and contents himself with looking at the pretty pictures in books he randomly pulls off the shelves. He becomes particularly attached to a book with a lovely woman on the cover, and before long, has secreted himself in a corner, doing who knows what. Suspicions soon arise that Boof is pleasuring himself, using the book cover as inspiration. Ew.
A search turns up another scroll that appears to contain the instructions of locating any missing royal children (how lucky for us). The scroll speaks of the Worthy One, the one who frees the princess, thus earning the right to marry her. This appears to be the key we're looking for. Problem is, even the cleric doesn't know enough magic to activate the scroll. Enter the scribe who had been sent to fetch drinks for us. Because of a SERIOUS lapse in judgment, the monk proceeds to freak the scribe out with tales of a sheriff in a neighboring city who SELLS PEOPLE FOR FOOD. Much monk chastising ensues.
The fighter escorts the way traumatized scribe to the king, who comes to the library at once to activate the scroll and send us off on our quest.
Part Two to come later...
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Nathar's Dungeon #3
It was time once again for the Nathar's Dungeon campaign. We had a slight change in the line up. The Cleric is now gone, and Pearl the gnome has morphed into a wizard. So our line up is now:
Pearl the wizard gnome with Prickles the hedgehog
Onyx the Rogue (&Pearls twin)
Roc the Paladin
Wolfgang the Druid with his trusty wolf Ruger
Our adventurer's started off in the same dungeon, where against all odds we managed to save the town. This is after the rogue kicked the paladin through a white substance while he was attempting to pray for guidance. The group had to tell the townspeople about the few who were not saved, and the Paladin gave a, let's say, interesting Eulogy since the priest was missing.
At this point the paladin became primarily focused on obtaining a white warhorse to use as his mount, and little else seemed to matter. The party journeyed back to see Rock's sister and the clergy in the next town over, now realizing that Father M is their primary mission. After discovering that there was no mount to be had, they made their way back to the church. The golden statue transported all (eventually, once the paladin was concerned with the rest of the group again) to a new dungeon with a neat aquarium room at the beginning.
They immediately slew a Hydra and a Dragon, allowing for a level up beam. They also found treasure stored in demonic church pews. Then they reached the infamous demon orb room. A really creepy room with many different style of demons holding glowing orbs. The wizard touched the first orb, and felt a good spell cast on herself. Heartened by this, the paladin ran to the end of the hall, touched the red orb and disappeared.
The wizard attempted to follow, but found that touching the now not glowing orb didn't help. A nearby gold one suited her fancy, and she touched it and disappeared as well. The druid vanished after touching the silver orb. The rogue, now being left to her own devices, decided to run along the chamber and touch each of the remaining orbs, resulting in firey bear claws of death attached to a blind gnome bouncing off the walls.
The paladin quickly dispatched a manticore. The paranoid wizard cast lightening on a pond only to discover that shocker lizards are immune to lightening (thanks B!! ) The druid touches a book and barely escapes having maggots coming out of his skin. They all convene back in the orb room, where they find Onyx, blind and bear clawed still.
Roc decides to touch the remaining orbs and grows over 20ft tall, then gets frozen. The party decided to camp with a 20ft paladin keeping watch.
This adventure was full of great moments, sorry if I missed any.
Pearl the wizard gnome with Prickles the hedgehog
Onyx the Rogue (&Pearls twin)
Roc the Paladin
Wolfgang the Druid with his trusty wolf Ruger
Our adventurer's started off in the same dungeon, where against all odds we managed to save the town. This is after the rogue kicked the paladin through a white substance while he was attempting to pray for guidance. The group had to tell the townspeople about the few who were not saved, and the Paladin gave a, let's say, interesting Eulogy since the priest was missing.
At this point the paladin became primarily focused on obtaining a white warhorse to use as his mount, and little else seemed to matter. The party journeyed back to see Rock's sister and the clergy in the next town over, now realizing that Father M is their primary mission. After discovering that there was no mount to be had, they made their way back to the church. The golden statue transported all (eventually, once the paladin was concerned with the rest of the group again) to a new dungeon with a neat aquarium room at the beginning.
They immediately slew a Hydra and a Dragon, allowing for a level up beam. They also found treasure stored in demonic church pews. Then they reached the infamous demon orb room. A really creepy room with many different style of demons holding glowing orbs. The wizard touched the first orb, and felt a good spell cast on herself. Heartened by this, the paladin ran to the end of the hall, touched the red orb and disappeared.
The wizard attempted to follow, but found that touching the now not glowing orb didn't help. A nearby gold one suited her fancy, and she touched it and disappeared as well. The druid vanished after touching the silver orb. The rogue, now being left to her own devices, decided to run along the chamber and touch each of the remaining orbs, resulting in firey bear claws of death attached to a blind gnome bouncing off the walls.
The paladin quickly dispatched a manticore. The paranoid wizard cast lightening on a pond only to discover that shocker lizards are immune to lightening (thanks B!!
) The druid touches a book and barely escapes having maggots coming out of his skin. They all convene back in the orb room, where they find Onyx, blind and bear clawed still.Roc decides to touch the remaining orbs and grows over 20ft tall, then gets frozen. The party decided to camp with a 20ft paladin keeping watch.
This adventure was full of great moments, sorry if I missed any.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Search for Frosty #2
So it was time to continue the search for Teaville's beloved relic Frosty.
The night kicked off with some goblin battling. So vicious were our heroes that 2 of them failed to notice that they were already dead and continued pummeling them. Brunhilda attacked a vicious orc that turned out to be her own reflection and set off a spear trap. There was also much dancing between the rooms.
The sorceress decided to be a spectator for the next battle, cheering her companions on from her floating disc. Bavmorda spotted some treasure and decided to grappling down, failing her climb check and plodding on her but almost impaling herself on the spikes, and alerting nearby orcs to their presence. All her companions raced to her rescue, except the ranger who jumped to the ground just in time to see the final blow of battle.
The group then comes across a little glowing lizard. They spent more time standing in the door theorizing that the lizard shocks itself for sexual gratification (complete with impressions from Andy) than it took to kill the little guy. The sorceress teased a hobgoblin who proclaimed his love for her with his dying breath. This battle also proved the beginning of language that proves inappropriate to repeat.
A quick climb up a ladder results in 2 characters in battle and 2 receiving a divine inspiration to run through the forest naked.
They then find two dwarves, one is familiar (Pilch the guide) and the other is wielding....dun, dun, don, da...Frosty!!! The barbarian raged and they quickly dispatched the unfamiliar dwarf who earned a place on Brunhilda's belt. And so the interrogation began.
The immortal words, "You lied to me, Pilchy" were uttered. Everyone failed their sense motives, that is everyone but the fatigued, low intelligence half orc who knows absolutely that he is lying. The dwarf is tied up and threatened. It is then that the entire group learns what Scotch-Hobbling is (if you don't know, I urge you to leave it that way).
The party decides to drag Pilch to the mayor and figure out what's up. They ran into Fern and there was much discussion on the best action. Also some talk of Pilch being the mayors gay dwarf lover. The mayor confrontation didn't go well and resulted in the comrades being chased out of town by an angry mob. They grabbed some horses and fought the guards blocking the exits (The sorceress fell off her horse in battle).
They made it out of town and headed for Pyre's hometown Cocoa (Coco, or cocoville, et al) with Pilch's face on Brunhilda's horse's butt. Pyre's parents welcomed us, and we got the Mayor of said town on our side. We decided to see crazy Cletus (straight out of Deliverance) to shrink some heads and make Pilch squeal.
Summary of events:
Bodies shaken and tossed on spikes or in river: at least 6
IRL happenings: 1 Deer crazed dog, 2 manly beards growing, a few hit lists and much talk of firearms
Critical Hits doing less than 3 damage: 1 (Bav-Mor-Da!)
New heads added to Brunhilda's Belt: 2 (dwarf & praying mantis)
Skyclad adventurers: 2
F-Bombs dropped: 13413874 (For F's Sake!!!)
A great night of adventuring!!
The night kicked off with some goblin battling. So vicious were our heroes that 2 of them failed to notice that they were already dead and continued pummeling them. Brunhilda attacked a vicious orc that turned out to be her own reflection and set off a spear trap. There was also much dancing between the rooms.
The sorceress decided to be a spectator for the next battle, cheering her companions on from her floating disc. Bavmorda spotted some treasure and decided to grappling down, failing her climb check and plodding on her but almost impaling herself on the spikes, and alerting nearby orcs to their presence. All her companions raced to her rescue, except the ranger who jumped to the ground just in time to see the final blow of battle.
The group then comes across a little glowing lizard. They spent more time standing in the door theorizing that the lizard shocks itself for sexual gratification (complete with impressions from Andy) than it took to kill the little guy. The sorceress teased a hobgoblin who proclaimed his love for her with his dying breath. This battle also proved the beginning of language that proves inappropriate to repeat.
A quick climb up a ladder results in 2 characters in battle and 2 receiving a divine inspiration to run through the forest naked.
They then find two dwarves, one is familiar (Pilch the guide) and the other is wielding....dun, dun, don, da...Frosty!!! The barbarian raged and they quickly dispatched the unfamiliar dwarf who earned a place on Brunhilda's belt. And so the interrogation began.
The immortal words, "You lied to me, Pilchy" were uttered. Everyone failed their sense motives, that is everyone but the fatigued, low intelligence half orc who knows absolutely that he is lying. The dwarf is tied up and threatened. It is then that the entire group learns what Scotch-Hobbling is (if you don't know, I urge you to leave it that way).
The party decides to drag Pilch to the mayor and figure out what's up. They ran into Fern and there was much discussion on the best action. Also some talk of Pilch being the mayors gay dwarf lover. The mayor confrontation didn't go well and resulted in the comrades being chased out of town by an angry mob. They grabbed some horses and fought the guards blocking the exits (The sorceress fell off her horse in battle).
They made it out of town and headed for Pyre's hometown Cocoa (Coco, or cocoville, et al) with Pilch's face on Brunhilda's horse's butt. Pyre's parents welcomed us, and we got the Mayor of said town on our side. We decided to see crazy Cletus (straight out of Deliverance) to shrink some heads and make Pilch squeal.
Summary of events:
Bodies shaken and tossed on spikes or in river: at least 6
IRL happenings: 1 Deer crazed dog, 2 manly beards growing, a few hit lists and much talk of firearms
Critical Hits doing less than 3 damage: 1 (Bav-Mor-Da!)
New heads added to Brunhilda's Belt: 2 (dwarf & praying mantis)
Skyclad adventurers: 2
F-Bombs dropped: 13413874 (For F's Sake!!!)
A great night of adventuring!!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
The Search for Frosty #1
So we were off on a new adventure tonight with our friend B as the DM. (He's the Paladin in the other adventure) It's his first time DMing, so we were all very excited to see what he had in store for us. Our roster looks like this:
Pyre Fierceshot - a ranger archer
Alora - a sexy human sorceress
Bavmorda - a sneaky rogue
& Brunhilda - a 1/2 orc barbarian (me)
The adventure started with us gathering in town for a festival which we heard would feature an archery and combat contest. A great unique way to get us together. The archery contest began, we all assumed that the ranger had this one in the bag. Bav shot at the audience, Alora hit on the mayor, and the ranger fumbled one of his shots, allowing Brunhilda to take the crown. It was time for the combat contest. Alora dazed her guy (with spells and other assets), Pyre pined his guy with arrow after arrow, Bav managed to lose to her competitor (Johnny Cobra), and Brunhilda easily took out her guy, allowing her to win that competition as well.
The mayor then asked Brunhilda to help him find a stolen sword, his beloved Frosty. She makes him help her gather the party, and then he sends them on a test of merit, to clear rats out of a house. They accomplish this rather easily, but find a wererat (it's a wererat?) in the farthest bedroom. Brunhilda fell into a pit, and Alora got bit by the nasty thing, but eventually they won and reported back to the mayor.
He then tells them that the sword is with thieves that have gone west. He also is very adamant that they need guides to help them, but the sorceress is very against the idea. They make their way after the mayor buys some cure potions since they have no healer and puts them up at the hotel. The follow the ranger into the woods and end up at the house of one of the guides who insists on taking us the the bridge. Along the way they were ambushed (kind of) by some hobgoblins. The sorceress conjured a floating disc and pointed out one that was escaping then sicked Brunhilda on him. Brunhilda ran, and ran followed by Alora surfing on her disc.
They found a cave and barged right in finding a group of goblins, and more came later. Bav became a goblin slayer as Brunhilda couldn't hit anything. They also came across a bugbear who's head is now attached to Brunhilda's belt. They tore apart a sleeping quarters, some just searched, others threw tables. They crawled through a bunch of rat tunnels and found themselves outside again.
Due to the late hour, our adventure stopped there, but we are really looking forward to continuing our search for Frosty.
Pyre Fierceshot - a ranger archer
Alora - a sexy human sorceress
Bavmorda - a sneaky rogue
& Brunhilda - a 1/2 orc barbarian (me)
The adventure started with us gathering in town for a festival which we heard would feature an archery and combat contest. A great unique way to get us together. The archery contest began, we all assumed that the ranger had this one in the bag. Bav shot at the audience, Alora hit on the mayor, and the ranger fumbled one of his shots, allowing Brunhilda to take the crown. It was time for the combat contest. Alora dazed her guy (with spells and other assets), Pyre pined his guy with arrow after arrow, Bav managed to lose to her competitor (Johnny Cobra), and Brunhilda easily took out her guy, allowing her to win that competition as well.
The mayor then asked Brunhilda to help him find a stolen sword, his beloved Frosty. She makes him help her gather the party, and then he sends them on a test of merit, to clear rats out of a house. They accomplish this rather easily, but find a wererat (it's a wererat?) in the farthest bedroom. Brunhilda fell into a pit, and Alora got bit by the nasty thing, but eventually they won and reported back to the mayor.
He then tells them that the sword is with thieves that have gone west. He also is very adamant that they need guides to help them, but the sorceress is very against the idea. They make their way after the mayor buys some cure potions since they have no healer and puts them up at the hotel. The follow the ranger into the woods and end up at the house of one of the guides who insists on taking us the the bridge. Along the way they were ambushed (kind of) by some hobgoblins. The sorceress conjured a floating disc and pointed out one that was escaping then sicked Brunhilda on him. Brunhilda ran, and ran followed by Alora surfing on her disc.
They found a cave and barged right in finding a group of goblins, and more came later. Bav became a goblin slayer as Brunhilda couldn't hit anything. They also came across a bugbear who's head is now attached to Brunhilda's belt. They tore apart a sleeping quarters, some just searched, others threw tables. They crawled through a bunch of rat tunnels and found themselves outside again.
Due to the late hour, our adventure stopped there, but we are really looking forward to continuing our search for Frosty.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Lazareth and the Ability Diamonds
My niece and nephew have been playing D&D with us for about 5 years now. They were 12 & 14 when we first introduced them. Our niece is now off at college (unbelievable timewise, but about time for her maturity wise). Anyway, we don't get to play as much as we used to, but this week, we managed to squeeze in a game that was amazingly fun (I might be biased because I DM this one) 
This adventure involves 3 unlikely heroes attempting to save the world by collecting very powerful ability diamonds before an evil Wizard named Lazareth.
Roster:
Tolquin the archer
Mara the Druid
Gunther the Wizard & Lyda and NPC cleric
After a short recap so we all knew where we were, we got started. Of course everyone had a good time looking at their inventory and going, "Why on earth do I have a Harpy ear in my inventory?" The best one was our crazy Wizard named Gunther who actually has "his old left arm in a scroll case." The amazing part of this is that none of the four of us can remember how that came to be.
So anyway, they were off to the tavern in Myewiz to figure out where the dungeon in this town (that was assumed to have the Wisdom Diamond) was located. The surly barkeep wasn't much help, but they were on their way only after the druid was driven to drink (alot) by the antics of the other 2. The first surprise of the evening was that Tolquin (not known for his puzzle solving abilities) solved the entrance riddle with ease.
Once inside, they found a corridor covered in plants and 2 boulders came rolling out at them. Each handled this in their own way, the archer pulled out his Immovable Rod and was sure that this would stop them. The druid turned into a bat and without warning attempted to pick up the human wizard as he was attempting to cast a spell. The NPC halfling that travels with them stood directly under the rod and prayed for the best. Luckily for them it was all an illusion.
They also found a fountain with a statue that Gunther liked the looks of, "Hey pretty lady, come here often?". And they had to trick an annoying talking door into saying it's own name (another score for Tolquin). Tolquin found a room with Night Hags by himself, but quickly brought them to the rest of the party. They entered a room with what was thought to be a simple pit trap to jump, until Tolquin fell in, twice. They also killed a beholder while Lyda slept and Gunther was turned to stone. Gunther quickly ran to the beholder body and cut out the giant eye claiming, "Where is it? I thought beauty was in the eye of the beholder!" badum bum
They solved a few more puzzles, nearly got their ass handed to them by a horned devil, and quickly dispatched the adult blue dragon guarding the last room. Here's a quick lowdown in HN style:
# Creatures turned into by druid: at least 3 (also tried to pass as a 'really evil wizard')
# puzzles solved by Tolquin: 2
# bizarre but typical Gunther antics: 3
other creatures summoned to fight: wolves, lions & unicorns (oh my)
This adventure involves 3 unlikely heroes attempting to save the world by collecting very powerful ability diamonds before an evil Wizard named Lazareth.
Roster:
Tolquin the archer
Mara the Druid
Gunther the Wizard & Lyda and NPC cleric
After a short recap so we all knew where we were, we got started. Of course everyone had a good time looking at their inventory and going, "Why on earth do I have a Harpy ear in my inventory?" The best one was our crazy Wizard named Gunther who actually has "his old left arm in a scroll case." The amazing part of this is that none of the four of us can remember how that came to be.
So anyway, they were off to the tavern in Myewiz to figure out where the dungeon in this town (that was assumed to have the Wisdom Diamond) was located. The surly barkeep wasn't much help, but they were on their way only after the druid was driven to drink (alot) by the antics of the other 2. The first surprise of the evening was that Tolquin (not known for his puzzle solving abilities) solved the entrance riddle with ease.
Once inside, they found a corridor covered in plants and 2 boulders came rolling out at them. Each handled this in their own way, the archer pulled out his Immovable Rod and was sure that this would stop them. The druid turned into a bat and without warning attempted to pick up the human wizard as he was attempting to cast a spell. The NPC halfling that travels with them stood directly under the rod and prayed for the best. Luckily for them it was all an illusion.
They also found a fountain with a statue that Gunther liked the looks of, "Hey pretty lady, come here often?". And they had to trick an annoying talking door into saying it's own name (another score for Tolquin). Tolquin found a room with Night Hags by himself, but quickly brought them to the rest of the party. They entered a room with what was thought to be a simple pit trap to jump, until Tolquin fell in, twice. They also killed a beholder while Lyda slept and Gunther was turned to stone. Gunther quickly ran to the beholder body and cut out the giant eye claiming, "Where is it? I thought beauty was in the eye of the beholder!" badum bum
They solved a few more puzzles, nearly got their ass handed to them by a horned devil, and quickly dispatched the adult blue dragon guarding the last room. Here's a quick lowdown in HN style:
# Creatures turned into by druid: at least 3 (also tried to pass as a 'really evil wizard')
# puzzles solved by Tolquin: 2
# bizarre but typical Gunther antics: 3
other creatures summoned to fight: wolves, lions & unicorns (oh my)
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